Sarasota Academy’s sister organization, the N.C.C.A., is hosting their annual 2020 conference held on October 30th-31st in Dallas, TX. They have added the ability to attend the conference virtually to obtain critical information about areas of temperament counseling.
During this conference you will be able to hear from experienced temperament counselors and gain insightful information that will impact your ministry.
You will also hear from our founders Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno. Dr. Phyllis will dive into a temperament case study which could be extra beneficial for your students to hear about. Both founders will then speak more about the areas of temperament.
Attorney David Gibbs III will provide a legal update on the world of Christian counseling which is pertinent to all members looking to maintain their ministries. He will also be going through practical examples of legal situations and what the best step for you as the counselor is.
We especially encourage those who train students to invite your students to this event. There is an immense amount of information for them to soak up and apply to their very own counseling sessions!
All of those who attend, member or non-member , will receive a continuing education certificate award by the National Christian Counselors Association.
Separate registrations are REQUIRED for continuing education requirements. Virtual conference links are not shareable and prohibited from being distributed.
Your greatest enemy is Satan and he is behind the temptations and battles you face each day.
In Overcoming the Enemy, Dr. Charles Stanley sheds light on the nature of our enemy and exposes many of the tactics he uses to bring heartache and sorrow. Learn to fight back using the weapons of spiritual warfare made available to us through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling International Representative Spotlight
Bret W. Larrimore, Sr. of Easton, MD is an International Representative of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling since 2012. He is also an I.C.C.A. Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, and N.S.I. Certified Strengths Advisor.
My ministry, Intentional Connections, is a personal ministry that specializes in Addiction Recovery and Relational Improvement. I am not a professional counselor or therapist. I am a Coach, or “Personal Developer.” I have made my living as a custom residential and furniture painter for over 35 years and now am pursuing the visional direction for my life – my purpose.
I was introduced to Temperament on the first day as a “counselee” at a Christian Counseling Center in October of 2008. I had no idea of the unfamiliar path God would be leading me along, and how He would use me. It is an honor to be sharing that journey with you.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
(Isaiah 42:16 NIV)
I struggled with addiction and bad relationships for many years. Being led to Christian Counseling and temperament was pivotal in my personal recovery, and the APS (Arno Profile System) was, and still is, my most valuable asset. Discovering the inner-most, and hidden, details of myself helped allow God to answer the question “Why did I do what I didn’t want to do?” Through this understanding, a great level of forgiveness toward others followed. This discovery led to a desire within me to know more, and also to a calling to help others find freedom from addictive behaviors, and ways to improve their relationships.
After a few months of bi-weekly counseling, I was led to the SACC and the “Creation Therapy” course. This course opened my eyes to the wonderful differences in people, the many issues people struggle with in marriages and relationships on a daily basis, and more importantly, how to help facilitate the healing journey. It became a powerful tool for recovery from life itself. Upon completion of the course, I was accepted as a member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and began administering temperament questionnaires and helping people understand themselves in a deeper way. It was around this time that my recovery coaching ministry, Intentional Connections, was born.
Not feeling the desire, or equipped, to do counseling, I was very much drawn to the Recovery Coaching ministry. My temperament, gifts, and strengths profiles have confirmed where my passion for helping people develop and grow comes from…within. I am made for it. My primary target group for ministry is with men is recovery from sexual addiction. For the past 10+ years, I have been honored to lead an L.I.F.E. Recovery International support group. I have also been on the Board of Directors, gave Sunday morning messages, and taught the Created in God’s Image course to some men in a transitional housing program for men in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction.
I have also been blessed to be a supporting member, small group facilitator, and presenter of information and understanding of Temperament, with The Underground Ministry which is a 3-Day Intensive Healing Workshop for men struggling with sexual addiction here on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. I can’t say for certain, but I believe we are the only recovery workshop that administers the APS profile, and teaches about temperament in recovery. What makes it even better is working together in this area with the counselor who introduced me to the APS.
As time has passed, and I have grown, so has the use and application of the Arno Profile System’s temperament profile. With its high accuracy and comprehensive teaching, The APS is now foundational to all the work I do. In private personal ministry, I have administered over 100 APS profile reports. I wouldn’t want to coach without it.
I have been blessed to recently create an 8-week course that helps each student, in recovery or not, to gain a deeper understanding of God, self, and others. I call it “The Purpose Box”. Over the 8-week period of 2 hours a night, one night a week, (currently presented on the ZOOM video meeting platform) each student will read the “Created in God’s Image” course book, complete the APS and 3 additional personal inventories. Each person discovers who they truly are, what their strengths and weaknesses are, how their mind naturally thinks, what their spiritual gifts are, and ultimately find a visional direction for their lives and purpose. It doesn’t matter what they’ve done, where they come from, what they’ve experienced, or what false core beliefs has rooted in their minds; each person is fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator.
Comments about “The Purpose Box” Favorite part = APS
“This material gives insight into character/behavior and offers paths forward in healthy ways.”
Favorite part = APS
“I found this course to be very valuable to understanding why I acted, and treated people, the way I did. This course also was an eye opener to who I am.”
I pray that the Lord will allow this course to reach many in the recovery communities, and families as well. The Arno Profile System is the foundation to this course. The APS is also valuable in discipleship and the APS is vital in gaining this understanding in order to find one’s place in the function of the body of Christ. The Purpose Box helps one find their purpose.
“It was He who gave some to be Apostles, some to be Prophets, some to be Evangelists, some to be Pastors, and Teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith…”
Ephesians 4:11-12 (NIV)
The APS, Created in God’s Image, and Creation Therapy are essential tools for valuable understanding.
“Wisdom is supreme, get wisdom. Though it cost everything you have, get understanding.”
Proverbs 4:7 (NIV)
Intentional Connections is honored to be a small part of the SACC and to be able to use the APS and teach about temperament to provide powerful understanding to all who are willing. I don’t know what the future holds, but I am trusting the Lord Jesus to continue to guide me along very welcome unfamiliar paths.
Remember, I was once a “counselee” and as each of you Pastoral Counselors introduce clients to, or teach students about the APS, encourage them to follow God’s lead, the passions in their hearts, and seek a vision for God’s purpose for their lives. Who knows what God will do with the seeds you are planting? I am grateful to God for the Arnos, their family, and the APS.
SPECIAL NOTES FOR COUNSELING MARRIED COUPLES THAT HAVE “LIKE” TEMPERAMENTS IN THE INCLUSION AREA.
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
As you know, “opposite” temperaments tend to attract each other because of their differences; however, we also find that “like” temperaments can also tend to attract each other. And just like the “opposite” temperaments, the “like” temperaments need to learn to live with each other. The “like” temperaments need to understand their likenesses.
In this issue, we will cover a Choleric married to a Choleric in the Inclusion area.
In review, the Inclusion area is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in the area of surface relationships, association, socialization, and their intellectual energies.
The following are some words that describe a Choleric in Inclusion:
charming personable chameleon
confident well-organized task-oriented
upbeat fast-paced strong-minded
people motivators needs recognition abusive temper
CHOLERIC IN INCLUSION MARRIED TO A CHOLERIC IN INCLUSION
In the Inclusion area there will be no “opposites attracting” since they are both Cholerics in Inclusion. They will have to learn to work together, not against each other.
Both tend to have great leadership abilities in the Inclusion area, and they tend to know they do.
Both tend to be task-oriented and also tend to have people skills in the Inclusion area.
Both tend to want and need constant recognition. They may tend to frequently compete with each other to see who can “outsell,” “outtalk,” or “outdo” the other.
When opposites attract, they can learn to balance each other; however, two Cholerics in Inclusion may have a more difficult time learning how to bring balance into their relationship as they each tend to want to be in the lead.
BOTH PARTIES HAVE THE SAME BASIC NEEDS
1. TO HAVE RECOGNITION AND APPROVAL
Both need recognition and approval for their accomplishments.
Both tend to be “I” people, e.g., “I sold the most cars”; “I took us over the $100,000 mark”; “I made all the choir robes”; “I baked all those cookies”; “I organized the bake sale”; etc. This is okay, as long as they are not saying “I” when both spouses are working on the same project. If they say “I” instead of “we,” this will tend to anger the spouse, and the spouse may try to get even or make statements such as, “Believe me, he/she did not do this by themselves; I worked on this project too and did most of the work!”
Both will tend to take on responsibilities and obligations to meet their need for recognition and approval. The more recognition and approval they receive, the more responsibilities they will take on—until they burn out. The more recognition and approval they receive from “man,” the less they will be looking to God for recognition and approval. They will then be trying to please “man” rather than God.
Both tend to want recognition and approval from their spouse and may become angry if they do not receive it.
Both will tend to try to meet their needs for recognition and approval by:
being charming and charismatic, i.e., “Mr. or Mrs.Personality.”
taking on activities that would exhaust other temperaments
going the extra mile to help people.
GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE
Learn to look to God first for their recognition and approval.
Learn that by looking to God first to meet this need:
each must then acknowledge the other’s needs for recognition and accomplishments.
each must then learn to give this much-needed recognition to the other.
2. TO HAVE SOCIAL INTERACTION
Both parties will take on social obligations in order to “sell” their wares. They will usually tend to accept only invitations that will be beneficial to them.
At times a Choleric spouse may tend to not want to accompany their Choleric spouse, especially if it is not beneficial to them. Why attend if they are not going to benefit?
They may tend to prefer to stay home rather than to take on social obligations where they have no interest.
GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE
Learn to respect each other’s God-given areas of expertise.
Learn to attend social functions, when they are not in charge, in order to support each other.
3. TO MOTIVATE
Both are motivators. They both tend to motivate people to accomplish their goals. They must learn to respect each other by motivating each other with acceptable behavior in order to accomplish their goals.
The following are some ways that Cholerics in Inclusion may try to motivate their spouse:
by using charm
by making promises
by using anger
by using threats
by using force or violence
GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE
Using charm is acceptable, if it is used properly; some Cholerics inInclusion tend to use charm as an illusion of intimacy in order to achieve their goals.
Making promises is acceptable, if they keep them.
Using anger is not acceptable. This can occur when their charm and promises do not motivate. This anger can be expressed verbally and/or physically. They need to learn that using anger will not help them accomplish their goals in a godly way.
Using threats is not acceptable. If the above does not work, then they may resort to threats—they may actually follow through with the threats.
Using force or violence is not acceptable; it is usually their last option. This is when they physically and mentally force their spouse to do things the spouse may not want to do.
4. TO BE THE “STAR OF THE SHOW”
Neither spouse likes to be a “second banana” and may upstage the other, especially if they are trying to “sell” their ideas or promote an agenda.
Neither spouse should try to force the other to go somewhere that they do not want to go. If they are cornered and cannot get out of going, the results could be devastating.
Why? If a Choleric is cornered into going where they do not want to go, they can really become overbearing and may use comments that put their spouse down, or they may even change the whole topic of the meeting—just to get even. On the other hand, they might just pull back and sit in the back (like a Melancholy) and think of ways to get even with their spouse.
Cholerics in Inclusion tend to expect their spouse to act and react the way they want them to act and react. They tend to say, “You should have said …” They need to learn that their spouse also has the right to act and react the way they deem appropriate.
GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE
Both need to learn to respect the rights and feelings of each other.
Both need to learn to not try to force the other to support their agenda.
Both need to learn that since they are one, they really should make an effort to show interest in each other’s endeavors.
Both need to learn to give each other the right to be who God created them to be, with their own thoughts and plans.
SETTING BOUNDARIES FOR THIS COUPLE
They both must allow the other to establish and maintain their individuality; however, then they must come together to make their marriage strong so that they can “remain as one.”
Because of their need for independence, they must set aside time each day to communicate with each other in order to keep from overstepping each other’s boundaries.
Both must work together and clearly define their responsibilities in order to maintain and run an effective household. Once this goal is achieved, they need to work out who will handle what and then be faithful to their commitment rather than competing with or overriding each other.
PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling Like Cholerics in Inclusion, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, birth order, learned behavior and personality.
In the next issue we will look at Counseling Married Couples with Like Temperaments in the Inclusion area of the Melancholy.