Temperament Corner

THE PHLEGMATIC IN CONTROL
By
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Temperament Corner by Phyllis Arno

We are going to examine the Phlegmatic in Control.
In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

The Phlegmatic in Control strengths:  decision maker, delegator, negotiator, arbitrator, peacemaker, practical, stable, conservative.

The Phlegmatic in Control weaknesses:  tendency to procrastinate, difficult to motivate, stubborn, uses verbal defenses that can be hurtful to others.

“A Phlegmatic is a Phlegmatic is a Phlegmatic.” Even though they are task oriented, a Phlegmatic still needs people.  It does not matter whether they are a Phlegmatic in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is:  THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a counselee might ask regarding their Phlegmatic in Control spouse, child, co-worker, friends, family members, neighbors, etc.

Q.  Why are they so independent?
A.  They do not like to be controlled because they know what they are capable of handling and, if someone  controls them, they may drain their low energy.
Q.  Why do they “dig in their heels” and refuse to budge when I suggest making changes?
A.  Their thought is, “Why use up my energy fixing something that is not broken?”
Q.  Why do they resent making changes in an effort to make things better?
A.  Change may force them to expend time and energy. 
Q.  When I push them to effect change, why will they shut down and not
communicate with me?
A.   They are stubbornly protecting what little energy they have.
Q.  Why do they at times appear aloof and distant?
A.  They do not want you to approach them.
Q.  Why are they non-committal and unwilling to give me an answer when asked to participate in a project or event?
A.  They do not want to participate so they will not obligate.
Q.  Why will they procrastinate after they commit to do a project?
A.   They do not have the energy to complete the project.
Q.  Why are they such good peacemakers?
A.   They have the God-given ability to work with leaders to keep the peace for all concerned.
Q.  Why are they so willing to work to keep the peace?
A.   They want peace in their own lives.
Q.   Why are they such good negotiators?
A.   They do not like conflict.  Their motto could be:  “Let’s make peace, not war.”
Q.  Why do I find myself looking to them to help me with my decisions?
A.  They have the capability of making good decisions.
Q.  Why do I tend to turn to them to help me find people who can handle difficult situations?
A.   They are capable of finding the right people for the right job and will delegate responsibilities to them.
Q.  Why do they put me down with cutting and sarcastic remarks?
A.   This is a defense mechanism to keep you from controlling them.
Q.   Why can’t I motivate them to change their plans?
A.   They want to take the path of least resistance to protect their energy, and will become immovable once they have made a decision.
Q.  Why do they use their humorous and sometimes sarcastic remarks to put me down if I don’t do something exactly the way they want it done?
A.  They are perfectionistic and will not tolerate imperfection.
Q.  Why are they always “too tired to get involved”?
A.  They have a very low energy level.     
Q.   Why do they seem to procrastinate about everything?
A.  They do not want to use up what precious little energy they have.
Q.  Why do they, at times, tend to allow their children to make decisions on their own?
A.  It physically drains them to have to make decisions regarding their children.
Q.  Why will they, at other times, tend to make decisions for their children?
A.  Their decision is based on their need to protect their energy; if not making a decision will cause them to use more energy, then they will make a decision.
Q.  Why do they go home and flop on the couch and stay there all evening?    
A.  They are exhausted; they have run out of energy.
Q.  Why do they just want to sit around eating all evening?    
A.  This is comfort food for them after having dealt with the pressures of the day.
Q.  What are some of the ways other temperaments may respond to the Phlegmatic in Control? 
A. The Choleric might say:  “Why does it take you so long to do your part? We are not going to receive any recognition for doing this project if we do not get it completed on time. “Why are you procrastinating?”The Melancholy might say:  “This project was supposed to be completed weeks ago.  Do your part and let’s get it finished; you are making our team look irresponsible!”

The Sanguine might say:  “Let’s get moving on this project.  I will work with you. Just stop procrastinating; you’re making us all look bad and we will never get out of here until midnight!”

The Supine might say:  “Let me know when you want to start the project.  I will help you, if you will help me.”

Q. How can I live and/or work with this Phlegmatic in Control?  They are frustrating me and driving me crazy!
A.  Enlightenment and understanding is the key.

Encourage them to be aware that their dry humor can be humorous or it can be cutting, rude, and sometimes painful to those toward whom they are directing their remarks.  They do not always realize that their humor is harsh—they are just trying to protect themselves—it is a defense mechanism.  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11Encourage them to stay involved in life.  They can become so busy protecting their energy that life passes them by.  They can almost become non-existent to their families because they do not want to get involved in family projects and overtax their energy.  They need to learn to triage their responsibilities in order to meet the needs of the day.  “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” I John 1:7

Encourage them to start exercising and/or walking.  They need to take care of their physical body as they have a tendency to want to sit at the computer, watch television, or sleep.  “What?  know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” I Corinthians 6:19-20

Encourage them to eat healthier and to stop snacking on junk foods.  This will give them more energy. Eating junk foods to reward or indulge themselves can only add to their stress because they will be filling their body with starches, etc., and depleting their already low energy even more.  The key is to maintain balance. “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” I Corinthians 10:31

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatic in Control, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will cover possible questions a Phlegmatic in Control counselee might ask.

S.A.C.C. International Representative Spotlight

S.A.C.C.
INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

Dr. Anthony Stowe

Rev. Anthony Stowe is a Certified Pastoral member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and an International Representative.  He has been involved with the SACC and the NCCA since 1996. He received his Certified Temperament Counselor certification on August 12, 1997.

Ways I am Utilizing the Creation Therapy Course

For over 17 years, the Arno profile system questionnaire and its subsequent profile, is a profound tool that I use exclusively when I am helping others with their relationship and communication issues. The classroom setting is a great way to teach Creation Therapy in a conducive learning environment that is comfortable and practical. I enjoy using a large dry-erase whiteboard to draw concepts and principles found in the Creation Therapy course. Currently, I am teaching two classes using the Creation Therapy Course. I have a total of 12 students, five at the Lone Star College library in Tomball, Texas and seven students at our church. Every student who purchases the Creation Therapy course from me finds the course materials and the knowledge the course provides to be a positive life–changing experience.

The APS Profile

The Arno profile system (APS) report can be used in many ways in assisting and helping others find answers and direction for their lives. The APS profile helps them understand themselves better, how to understand others better, and how to give and receive communication properly. In fact, I often hear this phrase, “I wish I would have known this information years ago.” What a testimony to the effectiveness and value of the APS profile.

Lead Me, Lord

Over the years, I have prayed for God to send people into my “Circle Of Influence” that are looking for help, and I prayed that God would give me favor with them. Almost daily, I receive phone calls, emails, and visits from individuals looking for answers in their life. I have been blessed to have medical doctors, psychiatrists, dentists, airline pilots, CEOs, bank presidents, carpenters, plumbers, truck drivers; therefore almost every conceivable occupation in my area has benefited by the APS profile. In fact, everyone says that they are “…very impressed with the value of the APS profile and with the depth of detail and scope of information each profile provides.”

Utilizing the APS Profile for Helping Families

Another way that I use the APS profiles is in a Family Setting. Since families are a system unto themselves, I try to get each family member to participate in our meetings and I utilize the APS profile for each family member. This is a fun and effective way of helping every family member understand the other family members while teaching each person the proper way to meet one another’s needs in a Godly way.

Utilizing the APS Profile for Parent/Teen Conflicts

Utilizing the APS profile, parent/teen conflicts are quickly and easily reduced and proper communication is restored between parents and their teen(s).  I love receiving letters from happy parents expressing their appreciation for the improvement in their relationship with their teenager, and how their home is now conflict–free and everyone is now working together in harmony.

Utilizing the APS Profile for Marriage/Relationship Counseling

When a married couple comes to the church looking for marriage counseling, their relationship is often in critical condition. They both have been “bleeding out” emotionally for a long time and the relationship has almost completely died. In this scenario, the APS profile shines bright when it is used according to the available textbook techniques.

In addition, everyone is amazed at how quickly a bad relationship can be turned around and, not only restored to happier days, but they are then able to build a new, solid relationship-foundation based on each person having their needs met in a Godly way.

Many 20+ year marriages, where the couple is constantly fighting and rarely communicating, have now become renewed in Godly principles and values with both spouses finally getting their needs met the way each individual needs them to be met.

Other ways to utilize Creation Therapy and the APS profile

Last year, I was invited by my physician friend to drive out to Healing Hands Ranch in Willis, Texas (a ranch where homeless men go to receive help) to meet the Operations Manager, Scott, for lunch. Well, during our visit, the owners, Jack and Vicki Hay stopped by to meet me. As we began to talk, I told them about Creation Therapy and the APS profile. They got so excited and said this is exactly what we’ve been praying for and need, a way to help these broken, destitute men find answers and direction for their lives. The Creation Therapy course and the APS profile is now used in conjunction with many excellent classes to bring hope, encouragement and direction into their lives. Everyone is excited to know their temperament profile score and what it means for them. I then began to contact other non-profits in the area and sit down and show them Creation Therapy and the APS profile report. Each one of them immediately asked if we could utilize the APS profile in their ministry. God has opened the door for us to minister to many people each week at multiple locations by utilizing Creation Therapy and the APS profile.

I recommend every Christian counselor who utilizes the APS profile take time to show the opportunity to utilize this invaluable information to every leader of every non-profit organization to help change their lives and the lives of others. In 17+ years, I have never had anyone say that they have not benefited from the APS profile information. This would be a great opportunity for you to expand your Circle of Influence and increase your ministry scope.

My Testimony

Recently, God sent someone my way that turned out to be both miraculous and rewarding. While sitting at my church office talking to a close friend, the outside facing office door opened and an older gentleman stepped inside the office and closed the door behind himself. I smiled and greeted him, and I asked him if there was anything I could do to help? He said he was looking for a class that we offered and he would like to speak to someone about the class. He sat down and we began to discuss the class information.

As he was filling out the application to join the class, I noticed his last name. His last name was a very unique name that one rarely heard in this area. I was startled when I saw his last name and asked him, “Are you the man whose brother is a renowned medical doctor in this area?” He smiled and said, “Yes, that is my brother.” Immediately I told him that his brother was my family medical doctor when I was a young boy at age 12, over 42 years ago. He smiled brightly and said, “I also went to medical school a few years after he started med school.” We began to reminisce about old times and had a wonderful reunion after 42 years of being apart. He put me in contact with his older Physician brother and I was able to go and visit with Him in their home many times after we reconnected. The man who came to my office is now a member of our church.

What a beautiful testimony of restoration when God orchestrated our reunion 40+ years later, In a completely different town. I have introduced both of them to the APS report and they both were very impressed and thankful for the knowledge the APS profile provides. They have ordered the Creation Therapy course and are learning to utilize the invaluable information they are learning to better care for their patients.

Summary

After 17 years of utilizing the Creation Therapy course and the APS profile, I can enthusiastically report that the information I have learned has helped me personally, my marriage, understanding my children and grandchildren, my co-workers and fellow church members. In addition, Creation Therapy and the APS profile has been a tremendous blessing in assisting parents in resolving parent/teen conflicts and improve communication. Moreover, the APS profile has been used as an exclusive tool to improve and restore broken marriages and has helped enhance “good marriages” to become even better. I am thankful for Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno and the NCCA and SACC for their years of professional training, quality learning materials, and first-rate customer service. I honor every individual who is working in the Ministry of counseling for your sacrifice, love, and effective results in reaching others for Christ and improving their lives.

Book Review

Falling In Love With God

By Bob Hostetler

Book Review

Product Description

Drawing from the ancient love story of Hosea, a prophet whose life and prophecy map how to fall in love with God, Falling in Love with God will fulfill the desires of all who long for a different–or deeper–relationship with God. This thoroughly Biblical book will help and bless all who long to love God with all their hearts…but just aren’t sure why they don’t, if they could, or how it happens.
For more information please visit: Christianbook.com

Book Review

Great Day Every Day: Navigating Life’s Challenges with Promise and Purpose

by Max Lucado.

920738_1_ftc

The alarm clock rings in a new day and a chance to rejoice in it. After all: “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

But what about those days when the traffic snarls, airports close, and friends forget? Is there any hope for the days riddled with the hang-ups and bang-ups of life?

In Great Day Every Day Max Lucado unpacks Jesus’ blueprint for dealing with such days: Saturate your day in Jesus’ grace. Entrust your day to His oversight. Accept His direction. It’s the only prescription to fill your day with God-given purpose.

When you find the divine promise of each day, you can face whatever it brings. Speed bumps and speeding tickets won’t derail you. Hiccups and hard times don’t have to ruin your day. In fact those days can become great days. Whatever you face, you can have a great day every day.

To find out more, click here.

Previously released as Every Day Deserves a Chance

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

S.A.C.C. International Representative Spotlight

S.A.C.C.
INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

Yeny VizcayYeny Vizcay

Yeny Vizcay of Pinellas Park, Florida is a Certified Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since January 18, 2013.

Yeny is also a Certified Temperament Counselor through the National Christian Counselors Association.  She has been a member since June, 2013.

What Creation Therapy Means to Me
by Yeny Vizcay

We are at year’s end, a time of celebration with the coming holidays when we reflect on the good and bad decisions we have made throughout the year, that one way or the other, they teach us to grow as people and as servants of our Great God the Father, our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

It’s a time when we give thanks for all the wonderful opportunities that God has given us day to day to serve others. Personally, I give thanks, to our Lord for such a resource. I had an encounter with Creation Therapy at a crucial period of my life, which responded to inward issues that no one was previously able to answer.

Despite being in a “good” marriage, having a good husband, raising marvelous children, and being involved in full time ministry, I was empty, trying to fill that emptiness by becoming more active in ministry, consequently, depleting my emotional energies, not realizing the issues in my life that were not being attended to.

Thanks to Creation Therapy where I have learned, more specifically, about the plans of God for my life by becoming aware of my innate Temperament.

I am a product of this transforming change that has brought balance to my body, spirit, and soul. As many of you all ready know, it is of great importance to be aware of who we are, for the Holy Spirit in us to be able to develop all of our Godly given potential, that we may freely, with freedom, joy and peace, serve our Lord and the people of the kingdom of God.

It is with great conviction that as an International Representative at BETHESDA CHRISTIAN COLLEGE OF COUNSELING, the first Certified Academic Institution to offer all of the courses of the N.C.C.A. (in español-the language of heaven). I teach my students, many of which are pastors and leaders, what the Apostle Paul teaches us in I Thessalonians 5:23,Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (NASB 1995).” This is an emphasis of Creation Therapy, that our whole self must be healthy spirit, body and soul, not what has been taught in some places that our solutions in all things are strictly spiritual by passing over our emotional self.

This great resource has brought a new and different perspective to me and others that have been trained in biblical counseling or Christian psychology in pastoral counseling. All of my students attest the same as me of how their lives, marriages, and ministry have been blessed.

So, as we are at the end of 2013, we are grateful to God ¨that for such a time as this´´ our Lord, through Dr. Richard G. Arno, Dr. Phyllis J. Arno and others, the Holy Spirit, ¨which guides us in all truth¨ has given to the body of Christ and to the world this wonderful blessing of the S.A.C.C., the N.C.C.A. and Creation Therapy.

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Temperament Corner

The Melancholy in Control
by Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

Temperament Corner by Phyllis ArnoWe are going to examine the Melancholy in Control.

In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

The Melancholy in Control strengths include: good decision-making and leadership capabilities in known areas, need for little control over the lives and behaviors of others, ability to work with others, dependability, responsibility, reliability, need for truth and order, and self-motivation.

The Melancholy in Control weaknesses include: fear of the unknown, rigidity, inflexibility, sensitivity to failure, rebelliousness, procrastination, and being strong-willed.

“A Melancholy is a Melancholy is a Melancholy.” Even though they are task oriented, a Melancholy still needs people. It does not matter whether they are a Melancholy in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a MELANCHOLY IN CONTROL might ask about himself/herself.

Q. Why do I say, “Wait, and give me a little time before I have to make changes?”
A. You fear change.
Q. Why do I fear change?
A. Change forces you into unknown areas.
Q. Why is this so difficult for me?
A. You are afraid you will fail.
Q. Why do I procrastinate?
A. You need time for the unknown to become known so you can make what you believe is the right decision.
Q. Why can’t I just go ahead and make a decision and not be concerned if it is right or wrong?
A. You are afraid you will look foolish and incompetent and people won’t respect you.
Q. Why will I hurry to complete a project and not check my work for errors?
A. You have the need to look competent, and this is more important to you than the actual competency.
Q. Why does it make me angry when someone points out my mistakes?
A. You think this makes you look irresponsible, and you are angry at yourself for making the mistake.
Q. Why am I so hard on myself if I make a mistake?
A. You feel that you have not lived up to your expectations of perfection.
Q. Why will I do the exact opposite when someone tells me how to do something or tells me how they think the job should be done?
A. You do not like to be controlled.
Q. Why will it upset me and make me angry if someone challenges a decision that I have made?
A. They may have challenged you in a “known area,” and you do not need or want their input.
Q. Why will I, at times, go along with other people’s suggestions?
A. You may need their input because you are in an “unknown” area and do not feel qualified to make the decision.
Q. Why am I more willing to do something for someone when they say, “Would you do this for me?” or “Could you do this for me?”
A. You like the words “would you” or “could you.” When people say these words, you do not feel controlled because they are asking you, not telling you.
Q. Why will I follow some people’s advice and not others’?
A. You will tend to follow someone that you feel knows what they are talking about. In other words, if a person has proven that they are knowledgeable in a specific area, you will be open to take advice from them.
Q. Why do I become stressed if I have to make a snap or quick decision?
A. You feel incapable of making a decision until you have had ample time to assess the situation and have the full picture of what is going on.
Q. Why do I maintain the rule “one strike and you are out” if someone lies to me?
A. You expect and need truthfulness from people. If they lie to you, you will have a difficult time ever trusting them again.
Q. Why do I have a difficult time disciplining my children?
A. You do not like to be a disciplinarian.
Q. Why do I tend to want my children to make their own decisions?
A. It is too stressful for you to make them. It is stressful enough for you to make your own decisions, let alone to make decisions for others.
Q. Why does it disturb me when I see injustice around me?
A. You believe everybody should do the right thing, and if they do not, you believe you need to do something about it now, not later.
Q. What can I do to help myself?
A. Learn to:
1. Develop a close relationship with the Lord and seek His help in facing your fears of the unknown. He is just a prayer away. See II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2. Trust God to help you make your decisions; then you will not have the stress of making your decisions alone. See John 16: 13a: “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth….”
3. Take time to check your work and do it as unto the Lord. In so doing, you will not only look competent, but you will be competent and you will feel better about yourself. See Luke 16:10a: “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much…”
4. Forgive yourself for making mistakes. When you do become angry at yourself, you need to remember that you are human and will make mistakes. God only expects you to do your best and knows that you will make mistakes as only Jesus is perfect. See Ephesians 1:7: “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.”
5. Forgive those who have wronged you and done you harm. God has forgiven you of your sins and mistakes. See Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

 PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Melancholy in Control, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Book Review – You’ll Get Through This

You’ll Get Through This: Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times by Max Lucado

Baker Book House Co.

Book CoverYou fear you won’t make it through. We all do. We fear that the depression will never lift, the yelling will never stop, the pain will never leave. In the pits, surrounded by steep walls and aching reminders, we wonder: Will this gray sky ever brighten? This load ever lighten?

In this six-session small group Bible study, pastor and “New York Times” best-selling author, Max Lucado offers refreshing assurance. Max reminds participants God doesn’t promise that getting through trials will be quick or painless. It wasn’t for Joseph–tossed in a pit by his brothers, sold into slavery, wrongfully imprisoned, forgotten and dismissed. But his Old Testament story is in the Bible for this reason: to teach us to trust God to trump evil.

With the compassion of a pastor, the heart of a storyteller, and the joy of one who has seen what God can do, Max explores the story of Joseph and the truth of Genesis 50:20. What Satan intends for evil, God redeems for good.

The six sessions include:

  1. You’ll Get Through This
  2. Down and Out, But Never Alone
  3. Stupid Won’t Fix Stupid
  4. Is God Good When Life Isn’t
  5. Now, About Those Family Scandals and Scoundrels
  6. God Can Use This for Good

Designed for use with the “You’ll Get Through This” DVD.

Find out more at:
Christianbook.com or Amazon

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Temperament Corner

THE Melancholy IN CONTROL
By Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Temperament Corner by, Dr. Phyllis J. Arno We are going to examine the Melancholy in Control.

In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

The Melancholy in Control strengths include: good decision-making and leadership capabilities in known areas, need for little control over the lives and behaviors of others, ability to work with others, dependability, responsibility, reliability, need for truth and order, and being self-motivated.

The Melancholy in Control weaknesses include: fear of the unknown, rigidity, inflexibility, sensitivity to failure, rebelliousness, procrastination and being strong- willed.

“A Melancholy is a Melancholy is a Melancholy.”  Even though they are task oriented, a Melancholy still needs people.  It does not matter whether they are a Melancholy in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a counselee might ask regarding their Melancholy in Control spouse, child, co-worker, friends, family members, neighbors, etc.

Q.  Why do they put up a “no” wall when I suggest making a change?
A.   They fear change.
Q.  Why do they fear change?
A   Change forces them to move into unknown areas.
Q.  Why is this so difficult for them?
A.  They are afraid they will fail.
Q.  Why do they procrastinate?
A.   They need time for the unknown to become known so they can make the right decision.
Q.  Why can’t they just go to plan “b” if plan “a” does not work?
A.  They are afraid they will look foolish and incompetent.
Q.  Why will they complete a project without checking their work?
A.   The need to look competent is more important to them than the actual competency.
Q.  Why do they get angry if I point out a mistake that they have made?
A.  They are usually not angry at you, they are angry at themselves for making the mistake.
Q.  Why are they so hard on themselves if they make a mistake?
A.  They feel that they have not been responsible and/or reliable.
Q.  Why do they sometimes rebel or do the exact opposite when I make a suggestion or tell them how I think the project should be done?
A.  They do not like to be controlled.   
Q.  Why will they, at times, become angry if I try to make a suggestion regarding their leadership decisions?
A.  You may have made a suggestion regarding a “known area,” and they do not need or want your input.
Q.  Why will they sometimes go along with my suggestions?
A.  They may need your input because they are in an “unknown” area.
Q.  Why are they more willing to do something for me when I say, “Would you do this for me?” or “Could you do this for me?”
A.  They like the words “would you” or “could you.”  When you say these words, they do not feel controlled.
Q.  Why do they follow some people and not others?
A.  They will usually follow someone that they feel is a “general.”  In other words, if a person has proven that he is knowledgeable in a specific area, they will be open to take advice from him.
Q.  Why do they become stressed if they have to make an “on the spot” decision?
A.  They feel incapable of making a decision until they have had ample time to assess the situation.
Q.  Why is their rule “one strike and you are out” if you ever lie to them?
A.  They expect and need truthfulness from people.  If you lie to them, they will have a difficult time ever trusting you again.
Q.  Why do they have a difficult time making and enforcing rules for their children?
A.  They do not like to control them; they just want their children to grow up and be responsible,  reliable and dependable.
Q.  Why do they tend to allow their children to make decisions on their own?
A.  It is just too much stress for the Melancholy in Control to be responsible for themselves, let alone their children.
Q.  Why do they get so upset when they see injustice in the world?  
A.  They tend to believe “right is right and wrong is wrong,” so when they see injustice, they believe they need to do something about it.
Q.  What are some of the ways other temperaments may respond to the Melancholy in Control?
A. The Choleric might say:  “Why don’t you step out of your safety zone and make a decision? It could be the right decision.”
The Phlegmatic might say:  “Just make a decision. You are tiring me out with your procrastinating.” 
The Sanguine might say:  “Stop putting up your ‘no’ wall and agree with me!  You are throwing me into my swing because I feel you are saying that my plan is not good enough!”
The Supine might say:  “I helped you with your decision making. Why won’t you help me with making mine?”
Q.  How can I live with this Melancholy in Control?  They are absolutely driving me crazy!
A.  Enlightenment and understanding is the key. 

Encourage them to face their fears.  God tells us not to fear approximately 366 times in the Bible. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22 

Encourage them to submit to God’s authority. By submitting to His authority, they will be able to submit to those in authority over them in the workplace, at church, at home, etc.  Melancholies in Control need to learn to give permission to those in authority over them and by so doing, the Melancholy is still in control.  “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers.  For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.” Romans 13:1

Encourage them to seek the Lord’s help in making decisions in their unknown areas, and then they will be able to make their decisions with confidence.  This will lessen their fear of the unknown, and they will then be able to say as Paul said in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” 

Encourage them that if their trust has been violated, they need to forgive the person or persons who violated that trust.  They need to remember that we serve a God of second chances. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Melancholy in Control, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will cover possible questions a Melancholy in Control counselee might ask. 

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S.A.C.C. International Representative Spotlight

I.R. Spotlight

Dr. Linda King

Dr. Linda King has been a Certified Pastoral Member and International Representative of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling since 2005.  Dr. King was originally licensed to the Ministry of Counseling by her local church in 2001 and was ordained to Ministry of the Gospel by the National Conservative Christian Church (NCCC) in 2003. Her credentials also include:  National Christian Counselors Association (N.C.C.A.) Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor – Advanced Certified, Professional Clinical Member, and a Clinical Supervisor Diplomate status, she is also a Certified Presidential Member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC).

Dr. Linda, as many affectionately call her, is the Founder, President and Chief Ministry Officer of Soul Care Ministries International, Inc. and the SCM Institute℠ which is a Certified Academic Institution of the N.C.C.A.  Soul Care Ministries International is headquartered in the Richmond Metro Area and has also expanded its operations to the Atlanta Metro Area where Dr. King currently resides.  Originally from Virginia, Dr. Linda is currently a bi-vocational who serves both as the President/CEO of an independent consulting firm that specializes in Insurance and Risk Management Consulting and in ministry.  She also serves on a national board in the Continuity Risk Management field and is an advocate for faith-based disaster preparedness as well as crisis response and trauma care.  Dr. King is spiritually gifted as a pastor-teacher, with the gifts of counsel, and equipped with a rich legacy of ministry planting, teaching, servant-leadership, people-helping and care-giving.

Dr. King has earned the following degrees: Ph.D. in Clinical Pastoral Counseling, M.S. in Clinical Christian Counseling, M.B.A., B.S. in Business/Marketing and A.S. in Marketing. She is also highly experienced and has an advanced skill-set in counseling, coaching and consulting.  Dr. King gives God all the glory for His anointing and the equipping He has provided primarily through her upbringing in a Christian family and in the Church, training and development for counseling ministry by Pastor Dr. Eugene Johnson (Mount Olive Baptist Church), AACC, S.A.C.C. and N.C.C.A.

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:11-12 NKJV)

“Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: ‘Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I! Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8 NKJV) 

These three scriptures set the foundation for my accepting God’s call to Pastoral Care and the Counseling Ministry.  “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry. . .” (I Timothy 1:12 NKJV).

My research to find the right training and education in counseling spanned secular training to some of the top seminaries and training programs in the VA/DC/MD area where I was living.  As much as I sought to avoid it, I knew God was calling me into Christian counseling ministry and a career change to secular counseling would not be an option.  As I prayed and asked the Lord where He would have me to study, He led me to the N.C.C.A. and S.A.C.C. through a Google search in the middle of the night.  It was around 2:00 AM on what I call a school night.  I had at least a 90-minute commute to work in Baltimore in the morning and I had been praying that God would please tell me plainly what He would have me to do.  Whatever it was, I was going to ‘sell out’ and move in it by the grace of God and empowerment of the Holy Spirit.  God had heard the fervent prayers, of both myself and my Pastor, and was ordering my steps to study and utilize ‘Creation Therapy’!

Little did I know when I was a pre-teen and told my family that I would one day have a PhD, or when God sent a guidance counselor into my 9th grade Phys Ed class to invite me into the high school Distributive Education Program, that God was beginning to prepare me for international ministry in the marketplace.   As a student of business and marketing, there is significant educational training in psychology as well as consumer and organizational behavior.  Every step of the way, from uttering those words as a pre-teen to responding to the leading of the Holy Spirit to establish Soul Care Ministries International in 2001, God has carried out His plan to gift and equip me to be a competent counselor (cf. Romans 15:14) and one who is called to come alongside the local church and equip the people of God for works of service in counseling and pastoral care ministry (cf. Ephesians 4).

Let me fast forward.  My educational training in high school prepared me for entering college and earning advanced educational training and degrees in marketing.  My journey continued on to gaining professional experience and expertise in international business and specialization in nonprofits.  How amazing it is that God was equipping me to for establishing a nonprofit outreach ministry that He would tell me to call Soul Care Ministries International, Inc. and for becoming an International Representative for the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and Soul Care Ministries International I just wanted to be obedient to the Lord while helping my Pastor with counseling at the church.  Surely I was not qualified and I certainly I had no plans to start an outreach ministry.  Couldn’t the pastor just train me and let me help him? ‘God’s gifts and His call are irrevocable’ (cf. Romans 11:29) and He opened the doors not only to answer the Call and use the Spiritual Gifts, but also to began an international ministry in the marketplace as an S.A.C.C. International Representative!

Lord, ‘Here am I! Send me’ (cf. Isaiah 6:8).  With a passion for Biblical Counseling, a love for people, a heart to serve and a divine call on my life; God led me to become a student of Creation Therapy following a conversation with Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno in the year 2000.  Creation Therapy is a scriptural based therapeutic method currently being used around the world with a more than 90% success rate (cf.  Psalm 139:13-14).  It helps people of faith understand who God created him or her to be as well as how to develop and maintain healthy, Christ-centered relationships with others and especially with our triune God!

Through the process of my equipping, I gained a true and personal understanding of the expression “God does not call the qualified, He qualified the called.”  From that first S.A.C.C. course entitled Creation Therapy and encouragement from Pastor Johnson to pursue a Masters Degree to satisfy ‘insurance requirements’; God led me to apply to the N.C.C.A. Program.  ‘Insurance requirements’. . . God had yet again put the right words in the mouth of my Pastor.  After all, by that time I had more than fifteen (15) years experience in the insurance industry and could not argue with the great wisdom my Pastor was sharing with me.  Right after completing the Masters Degree Program with N.C.C.A. and Cornerstone University, I received a call from Dr. Richard Arno inviting me to apply to the doctoral program.  After already having endured the hard work of earning four college degrees, I had no desire to continue school.  God had another plan and had already seeded a PhD in my spirit when I was a pre-teen.  I had truly forgotten about that.  Being one who is committed to doing what the Lord tells me, I was accepted and entered the doctoral program and subsequently earned a PhD in Clinical Pastoral Counseling from Jacksonville Theological Seminary and advanced credentials from the N.C.C.A. in Clinical Pastoral Counseling, Clinical Supervision and as a Certified Academic Institution.  Tears, tears, tears . . . God had equipped me for Ephesians 4 ministry in church and in the marketplace just as He promised.  In this season, I not only serve as a Clinical Pastoral Counselor and leader of an outreach and equipping ministry but also in the Pastoral Care and Counseling Ministry of a large church in the Metro Atlanta area.

This is my story, to the Glory of God, as an International Representative of the S.A.C.C.  My song is a song of praise unto the Lord for the great things He has done, is doing and is yet to do for His divine purpose!  Everyone has a story and a God-given purpose.  We can all praise Him because it is God who created us; ‘fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are His works and that our very souls know right well’ (cf. Psalm 139:14).

Is God calling you to Counseling Ministry to ‘heal the brokenhearted to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD’ (Luke 4:17-19 NKJV)?  Creation Therapy is an excellent course to begin your formal studies.  As an International Representative of the S.A.C.C. and one who has successfully utilized this therapeutic model in my counseling ministry, for more than ten (10) years, I highly recommend it and know it will be a great blessing to your ministry as well.

As a bi-vocational, God had given me some creative ways to utilize Creation Therapy to take the good news of the Gospel into the marketplace for such a time as this.  Below you will find my top ten (10) ways to use Creation Therapy:

  1. To equip pastors, leaders and laity for works of service in counseling ministry.
  2. To minister wise counsel, hope, healing and deliverance to those who are hurting.
  3. To help individuals understand their ‘spiritual genetics’ in the context of Christian Counseling, Life Coaching, Consulting, Faith-based Temperament Therapy, Professional Mentoring and as a Spiritual Director.
  4. In pre-marital, marital and family counseling.
  5. To come alongside and help people recover from crisis, trauma and disasters.
  6. To train Christian Life Coaches, counselors, educators and other professionals in faith-based human behavior.
  7. As a Christian writer and blogger as well as in active engagement in Social Media such as LinkedIN®, Facebook®, Twitter®, Pinterest®, etc.
  8. In leadership coaching and training for churches, faith-based nonprofit organizations and Christian businesses.
  9. To consult with Christian owned businesses in the pre-employment screening process and as a Christian alternative to the Employee Assistance Program and as a workplace chaplain.
  10. To come alongside the local church and local pastors by providing staff augmentation and a pre-vetted source of referral so they can focus on shepherding the flock.

God knows the plans He has for you and me; it is for a prosperous future full of hope in Christ Jesus (cf. Jeremiah 29:11).   The Word of God encourages us to diligently study so we can take the good news of the gospel to the world while rightly dividing the word of truth (cf. Matthew 28:19-20, 2 Timothy 2:15).   “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest” (Matthew 9:35-38 NKJV).

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S.A.C.C. International Representative Spotlight

I.R. Spotlight

Dr. Melveena D. Edwards is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since July 2003.

Chaplain (Elder) Dr. Melveena D. Edwards
Chaplain (Elder) Dr. Melveena D. Edwards

“God speaks to His people through the yielding counselor Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

Dr. Melveena Diane Edwards, a native of Ohio, is a humble spirit-filled servant of Jesus Christ with a call and passion for serving others through education and counseling, professional nursing. Dr. Edwards asserts in the belief in “caring for people God’s way,” (Clinton, Hart, & Ohlschlager, 2005, p. i). She also believes in reaching the core root of the counselees’ problems navigated through the “Word of God,” and guiding them to safety using godly principles for those: emotionally wounded, hurting, and experiencing tumultuous, and turbulent storms of life.  Dr. Edwards is an advocatory leader and affirms in the philosophy of effective leadership exhibiting positive influence, and commitment.

Through God’s direction Dr. Edwards is the founder, president, CEO, and Chief Executive Director of the Lighthouse Christian Counseling and Outreached Center, Inc. (LCCOC) founded on February 1, 2001 and is a California Religious nonprofit corporation.  LCCOC is a multifaceted ministry that includes Consultants for Christian Education Programs (CCEP), Lighthouse Academy for Christian Counseling & Seminary (LACC) an NCCA Certified Academic Institution (CAI), providing academic training for certification in Christian counseling and licensure. LCCOC has focused core divisions and entities providing:  Christian/clinical counseling practice, chaplaincy services, Christian education, faith-based community outreach programs, and partnerships encompassing local, national, and global outreach.

During life’s journey Dr. Edwards has experienced triumphs from many pressures, sufferings, trails, and tribulations that have turned into divine empowerment through Biblical counsel and especially after learning her inborn temperament from the Arno Profile System many years ago. Dr. Edwards declares after her awareness of learning “who God created her to be,” it has become liberating. Dr. Edwards states that assuredly “God speaks to His people through the yielding counselor.”

In A.D. 55 the Apostle Paul alluded to a state of oppression in II Corinthians 1:8. Today we are living in a cusp of a hectic, rapidly changing world that demonstrates staggering statistics illustrating a steady rise in mental despair and disparities. Some of these rising stats include suicidal/homicidal ideations, grief, depression, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) ―especially known to branches of the military, low self-esteem, and an array of emotions such as helplessness, hopelessness, and anger diabolically influenced to seize the mind of the believer. Once the mind is confiscated, destruction of the body and spirit can follow.

What a golden opportunity to be used by God through the voice, vehicle, or medium of Christian counseling and in the role of a SACC International Representative (IR).  Through Creation Therapy and the ordained instrument the―Arno Profile System (APS) this creates an excellent Christian counseling model in which God speaks to His people through the counselor or IR proclaiming liberty to the captive. Creation Therapy precipitates a life-changing experience for people to learn efficiently how God created each of us, and further helps us to understand human behavior.  Hence, individuals become liberated for kingdom living―liberated through dynamic (Dunamis) power―gaining understanding of their inborn temperament, rather than resorting in the yoke of bondage, and who have been under the control of strongholds.  In the Greek translation ochuroma depicts “a stronghold,” (solidified/fortified) “fortress” (akin to ochuroo), “to make firm, of those things in which mere human confidence is imposed” (Vine, 1999, p. 365).  It is that force or burden that takes unfair advantage. Heretofore, we cannot under estimate the embodied damage of strongholds that can catapult people’s lives into a spiraling state of devastation. There are fortresses of oppression, diverse damaged emotions, diabolical pressures, varying degrees of chicanery, universal sufferings, and more that can place individuals into lifelong bondage derived from the enemy.

BUT GOD will speak to His people through the yielding leader, counselor, or IR, and turn the issue of strongholds or problems into empowerment through the vehicle of Christian counseling. Through effective leadership and training elements of the IR, the Creation Therapy/APS process can be life changing.  The counselee can experience a paradigm shift and is set-free from bondage.  Apostle Paul asserted: STAND fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1 KJV).  There is a process for one’s purpose in life, which can set free the compelled, duty-bound, and brokenhearted that will propel individuals to walk therefore in their divine purpose, call, and destiny. This process of divine empowerment will reverse unfavorable situations, despair, crises, trails, storms of life, anxiety, inter/intra-personal conflicts, and stress.

Through effective leadership as an IR there are positive outcomes in case scenarios. Becoming an IR or “voice” can be a privilege for the acquiescent Christian counselor in teaching and training others on the Creation Therapy process.  This process will enable the counselor to assist the counselee with restoration in health and wellness, assist the counselee to eradicate faulty thinking by understanding his or her inborn temperament, and assist the captive counselee to be set free through godly principles.

Dr. Edwards desires to encourage and inspire those with the call to Christian counseling by becoming an IR, which will heighten the horizon of global ministries through Creation Therapy training, supervising, and sharing with others the knowledge of who God created us to be, and  allow God to speak to His people through Biblical guidance. Through the IR leadership one can be a catalyst to spiritual growth and ministerial development, which in turn will be for the advancement, and up-building of God’s Kingdom.

Dr. Edwards states that: “giving glory and honor to God is first and of upmost importance. God has strengthened the Lighthouse Christian Counseling and Outreached Center, Inc.―LCCOC to be that advocate in fulfilling the call to Christian counseling. The Lighthouse Academy for Christian Counseling & Seminary―LACC, a private postsecondary and vocational Christian education and training, and Certified Academic Institution, advocates others to embrace the IR and CAI mission.  The consultants for educational programs/referrals services play a key position to collaboration, cohesion, networking, and faith-based community outreach and partnerships in preparing others for a successful ministry; and winning souls for Jesus Christ.” Dr. Edwards considers her memberships an honor and is proud to be affiliated with the SACC, and NCCA. She believes that the IR and CAI status is the chief link to the ministry, training, and educational success. She further exclaims that: “I desire to personally thank Dr. Richard and Dr. Phyllis Arno, Rev. Steve and Erin Baran, and all associate staff for the long-standing leadership, prayers, the impartation of wisdom, and knowledge in the area Christian counseling, Creation Therapy, and development of the APS.”

Dr. Edwards says she conducts Creation Therapy classes based upon enrollment.  She encourages students to pursue NCCA licensure and earn degrees from associate to doctorate degrees, to become effective ministers and counselors.

Above all Dr. Edwards loves the Lord, her main ministry aim and mission is to win souls for Christ, and the advancement/up building of God’s Kingdom:  “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”  III John 2

Clinton, T., Hart, A., & Ohlschlager, G. (2005). Caring For People God’s Way―Personal and Emotional Issues, Addictions, Grief, and Trauma. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.  AACC.

Vine, W. E. (1999). Vines Concise Dictionary of Bible Words. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Dr. Edwards is an SACC Certified Pastoral Member and is a Certified Temperament Counselor with the National Christian Counselors Association (NCCA) and holds Professional Clinical Membership and is Board Certified in Death and Grief Therapy, is a Licensed Clinical Christian Counselor, and holds Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor-Advanced Certification (July 2003). Affiliation with the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC): AACC Certification in Biblical Counseling, AACC-International Board of Christian Counselors-Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (IBCC-BCPCC); a Christian counselor who serves as a state licensed mental health professional, and serves among the vanguard of professional Christian counselors who exemplify the standards of ethical excellence in practice (July 2007).

The organization’s website addresses are http://www.lighthousechristiancounseling.org

E-mail: drmdedwards@lighthousechristiancounseling.org or 8778527536@gosolo.com

Facebook Timeline: http://www.facebook.com/lighthousechristiancounseling or http://www.facebook.com/mdedwards.phd

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