IR Spotlight

Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling International Representative Spotlight

Dr. Margaret Virginia Rives McBride (Ginger) is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling, and has been an International Representative since January, 2018. She is also an NCCA Licensed Pastoral Counselor. Dr. McBride’s ministry is: Almost Home Behavioral Health Ministries.

Journey in Temperament


God is so smart! I am awestruck at the thought of our Creator and His love for us. He did not stop with creation. He made a plan for our lives, and wrote it down in a book before we were born. (Psalm 139:16) What freedom to know God created us with purpose and meaning! Seeking His plan for our lives is our quest.

Temperament is the foundation of our journey. God “packed our bags “for us, and in them He put everything we would need. We do not always know everything that is in our suitcase. That is where prayer comes into the big picture. We must always seek His will. If we think we have it all figured out, and strike out on our own, we get in trouble. God knows we will not get in trouble if we remain dependent on Him.

Joshua had the monumental task of leading the Israelites into the Promised Land. He sought God’s plan in crossing the Jordan and overtaking Jericho. (Joshua 3:7-17; 6:2-5, 20) Ai was small. Surely the Israelite army that had besieged Jericho could handle little Ai on their own, but they could not. (Joshua 7:3-5) Joshua needed to understand God helped the Israelites across the Jordan River. It was God that brought the walls of Jericho down. With their defeat by Ai, God taught an important lesson. God wanted Joshua totally dependent on Him for this important assignment of conquering the Promised Land. That story is written in the Bible so that we do not make the same mistakes, but we do- over and over again.

In 2015, God put Debbie McClure, Sandy Burford, and me in jail ministry through an organization called Purchased: Not for Sale. It was all God’s doing, because never in a million years would I have thought visiting women in jail would be such a blessing to me. Every week, our team would meet and pray before visitation. Then, our team leader would give us names of women who needed a visit. These women in jail had either been arrested for prostitution, or were known prostitutes. We would ask them about their week, share Bible verses to encourage them, and pray with them. It was a short 15 minutes on a telephone through thick plexiglass.

Then, God then gave us the opportunity to minister inside the women’s cell block during a church service held every Tuesday night. Our chaplain would share words of encouragement and pray with us before service. He said he wanted us to study and pray before our visits to get a fresh Word from God. He wanted us to bring “fresh bread” to the altar. Because we did not have counseling experience, he recommended Temperament Therapy. In 2016, we started taking Christian counseling classes. We continued to minister in the jail, but discovered God provided jail ministry as a stepping stone for other endeavors.

God wanted more. During the fall of 2017, God spoke to Debbie and told her one hour a week was not enough. He wanted her to open a home and minister to women getting out of jail. We were in the habit of fasting and praying for our ministry the first 21 days of the year. Needless to say, opening a home for women was our main prayer focus of January 2018. We did not feel we were worthy or equipped, but we knew if God was in it, we could do it. We knew that prayer was the most important element in accomplishing any God-sized task. Also, in January, as an International Representative (IR) with Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling (SACC), I began teaching Created in God’s Image to those who were interested in the class.

During jail ministry, we found out jail will get a person clean and sober, but if a person truly wanted to stay clean upon leaving jail, it was almost impossible. Through their addiction their family had most likely rejected them, unless their family was part of their problem. When they were released, there was no place to go, except back to the same environment that got them in trouble. Maybe it was just an excuse, or maybe it was not. It seemed to us that God was leading us to give them a safe place to recover and start making better decisions.

Again, for the first 21 days of the year we fasted and prayed for God’s guidance in a ministry He had already put on Debbie’s heart. On January 22, God showed us a place and gave us a ministry, Almost Home Behavioral Health Ministries. The house was in foreclosure and needed a considerable amount of work, but we knew if God was in it, it would happen. God provided a Christian banker and a Christian lawyer. By February 1, 2018, we had keys and a contract for the purchase. The banker told us we could start with renovations and treat the house as if it were already ours. He said he would take care of the foreclosure, and he did. God is so smart.

In 2019, our first 21 days were spent praying and fasting for another house. We thought it would be a home for men finding themselves in the same predicament. God had another plan. Debbie was inundated with requests of women. God found another house for women, and we were able to renovate and furnish that home as well.

Now, in the beginning of 2020, we find ourselves ministering to 20 women or more at any given time, and running two households. It takes time, money, staff, and volunteers. As an IR, I have been able to offer Created in God’s Image and Creation Therapy to anyone interested.

Our staff and many volunteers have taken the classes. For us, it has opened up a deeper understanding of who these women are, and how they think. People, even those with like morals and values, do not always think alike. What would seem so logical to us, may seem bizarre and irrational to someone else. So, add in unhealthy environments of abuse, addictions, selfishness, immoral behavior, etc., and no one can begin to understand each other. But God understands us because He created us. As we study Temperament and begin to understand ourselves and others as individuals and unique creations of our Heavenly Father, we can intently listen to others’ views and thoughts. Temperament and environment have helped shape us and others. Even though our shapes are different, God uses us in His big plan.

As women move through the 3-month program, we administer the Arno Profile System (APS). During counseling sessions, we discuss who God created them to be, and their Temperament needs. We help them determine how to meet their Temperament needs in Godly ways and assist them in discovering the purpose God intended for their lives.

In the last month of the program, we teach the women to work. First, we train the women as volunteers, and then, help them find employment. This serves a three-fold purpose: It teaches the women a work ethic that they may have forgotten, or they did not have. It provides an honest income, and allows them to feel a sense of worth and accomplishment. It helps them establish confidence and work references so that when they leave the program they will be able to continue in the jobs they have, or find employment elsewhere.

Success comes in many different packages. Even though a graduation celebration is held for participants that complete the 3-month program, the women can stay at the home as long as they comply with the house rules. Some women come and leave within the first two weeks. Others leave without graduating. The women who leave early, know they are loved and they know where they can find help. Even in those cases, they may be successful if they have grasped the concepts that their past does not dictate their future, they are capable of making their own decisions, and they are responsible for the decisions they make.

Some graduate and decide to hang around and save some money in order to leave with a plan and financial ability to implement it. Still others start making plans to leave within days of starting the program. Some leave; some hang around and graduate. Others may leave and come back to start all over. If this is the case, before they leave they understand that certain criteria must be met before they are allowed to return. The staff at Almost Home wants the women to leave confident in themselves, and totally dependent upon God.

One particular lady entered the program. I had the opportunity to talk to her within the first few days. She seemed very timid and shy. More than that, she portrayed worthlessness to the point of saying that her children were better off without her. She seemed to believe she deserved every bad thing that happened to her. She felt that Debbie was going to ask her to leave the program even though she could not give a legitimate reason why she felt that way. I assured her that she would not be asked to leave without just cause and that the Debbie and all the staff at Almost Home wanted her to get well and succeed in life.

During subsequent visits, I found out she has an accounting degree and has worked for a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). I also found out she has sold cars and furniture. She liked sales because she was around people. In sales, her ultimate goal was to get a customer the car or the piece of furniture that would meet their needs.

Her APS revealed she is Phlegmatic Sanguine in Inclusion, Choleric in Control, and Sanguine in Affection. I carefully discussed her Temperament pointing out her strengths before exposing areas for work and growth. After 2 months, she started looking for work. Because of her accounting degree, she was hoping to find a job with a CPA. I reminded her that Temperament traits suggest she needs a lot of interaction with people. I told her I believed she did well in sales because of her ability to meet people, and make them feel special. She told me that she had considered her Temperament while she was looking for a job. She said that she had applied for the job as a receptionist for a CPA firm, so she would be getting interaction with people. She thought she would be an asset to the firm because she knew something about the business. Wow! In 2 months she had been transformed from having a poor self-image to the “take-charge” kind of person God had created her to be.

At Almost Home, we have the opportunity to give these women a little something more. It may be the results of their APS. It may be learning to embrace their Temperament. It may be understanding the consequences of their actions. It may be a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, or a closer relationship with God. It may be they feel real love and acceptance for the very first time. It may be the development of a work ethic. It may be a safe place to heal, free from drugs, alcohol, and abuse of all kinds. They have the opportunity to start making their own decisions and being responsible for the decisions they make.

God created us and gave us purpose, but we have to search for it. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13. He provided us everything we need for life, but we must find it. Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3. He offered us the privilege of prayer, but we must act on it by asking for what we need. …ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full. John 16:24. He gave us the Bible to instruct us, especially in our relationships with God and others, but we have to apply it to our lives. And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39. He offered us Christian friends and prayer partners, but we have to make the right choices. “ …he who receives whomever I send receives Me; and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.” John 13:20. God is so smart.”

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Book Review

By: Max Lucado

In a world searching for happiness, bestselling author Max Lucado provides a personal plan for a life filled with lasting and fulfilling joy, supported by Jesus’ teaching and modern research.

Do you feel happy?

How long has it been since you felt a level of contagious, infectious, unflappable, unstoppable happiness? Maybe your answer is, “All the time.” If so, God bless you! (And consider suggesting this book to someone who needs it.) For many of us the answer is, “Well, it’s been a while. I used to be happy, but then life took its toll.”

Only one-third of Americans surveyed said they were happy. How can this be? Education is accessible to most. We’ve made advancements in everything from medicine to technology, yet 66 percent of us can’t find an adequate reason to check the “yes” box on the happiness questionnaire.

Worldwide, people profess that happiness is their most cherished goal. Marketers get this. “Want to be happy?” they ask. Eat at this restaurant, drive this car, wear this dress. Happiness happens when you lose the weight, get the date, find the mate, or discover your fate. It’s wide, this way to happiness. Yet, for all its promise, it delivers a fragile joy; here one day, tomorrow scattered by the winds of comparison, disappointment, or unmet expectations.

Max writes, “There is another option. It requires no credit card, monthly mortgage, or stroke of fortune. Age and ethnicity aren’t factors…an unexpected door to joy.”

In this book Max shares the unexpected path to a lasting happiness, one that produces reliable joy in any season of life. Based on the teachings of Jesus and backed by modern research, How Happiness Happens presents a surprising but practical way of living that will change you from the inside out.

To read more, visit here!

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Temperament Corner

Wings

PSALM 91 (KJV)

1. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

3. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

4. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.  

5. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

6. Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

7. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

8. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

9. Because thou has made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

10. There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

11. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

12. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

13. Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

14. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

15. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

16. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

FEAR

FEAR IS A BIG BULLY AND PREYS ON ALL OF THE TEMPERAMENTS!

Fear can keep us locked up in a prison of darkness. But YOU have the key to get out of this prison of darkness. The key is Jesus!

We need to trust that Jesus will get rid of the bully.

How? Jesus is the Light of the World, and the darkness has to run from Him. And

Jesus always keeps His Word.

For example, take a flashlight and shine the light in a dark place and see what happens—the darkness disappears!

The same thing will happen with our fears because Jesus is our Light—our fears will disappear!

The Holy Scriptures tell us:

“Fear not.” It is in our Bible over 70 times and tells us that God is always here for us; however, sometimes, when we are going through the valleys, we tend to let fear creep in and take over.

Encouraging Scriptures regarding fear:

Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

Joshua 1:5: “I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

Psalm 23:4, 5: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?”

Psalm 56:11: “In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.”

Hebrews 13:6: “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”

John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

Dr. Phyllis Arno

LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS IN THE INCLUSION AREA OF THE PHLEGMATIC AND SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON THEM.

In review, Inclusion is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships with people in the area of surface relationships. (This includes association and socialization.) It also encompasses a person’s intellectual energies.

1. FEAR OF BEING PRESSURED INTO BECOMING TOO INVOLVED

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to not want to become too involved. At work, they tend to try to keep to themselves so that others will not make demands on them. They will respond when spoken to, but will usually not go and initiate a “conversation at the water cooler.” They may even bring their own water bottle so that they do not have to walk to the water cooler for two reasons: First, they do not want to expend the energy; and second, they do not wish to be drawn into office politics. They would prefer to become “invisible.”

Phlegmatics in Inclusion may tend to want to stay home rather than attend church for two reasons: First, they do not want to expend the energy; and second, they do not wish to be drawn into church politics or projects.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion must learn to maintain balance in their life daily.

Otherwise, they may tend to work only at preserving their energy and may lose touch with life itself, including family and friends. It is important for them to know that they are capable of inspiring others, but, in order to inspire them, they need to be in contact with them.

They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of becoming too involved and learn that He loves them and wants them to not become weary in well-doing.

I Peter 4:10 tells us: “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

2. FEAR OF SOCIALIZING

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of socializing because they are physically drained after a day at work and they do not want to spend their evening interacting with people. Spending time with people in the evening may drain them even more.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion usually tend to prefer to go straight home and settle down in their easy chair or take a nap before dinner. Then, after dinner, they may tend to prefer to sit at the computer or watch TV rather than go out for the evening. In other words, they are “peopled-out” and their energy is depleted. Sometimes, if they have guests in their home, they may “slip out” or “disappear” and go to bed.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance in this area, not only for themselves, but for their friends and family. If they do not learn to maintain balance, they may find themselves reserving their energy to the point that they have withdrawn from the world itself.

They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of socializing. They can learn to do this by maintaining a close relationship with the Lord, so they will have the desire to share God’s love with others.

Psalm 34:4 tells us: “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

3. FEAR OF MAKING CHANGES

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of making changes. They do not like to change jobs, change homes, change cars, change churches, etc.

For the Phlegmatic in Inclusion it takes too much energy to change jobs, pack and move, purchase a new car, etc. For this reason they may tend to drive their cars until they “fall apart and quit running.”

Because they tend to be perfectionist and detail-oriented, Phlegmatics in Inclusion would have a difficult time trying to find the perfect job, the perfect home or the perfect car, so they tend to do nothing at all.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance in this area, not only for themselves, but for their friends and family.

They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of making changes so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful.

Isaiah 41:10 tells us: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

4. FEAR OF PHYSICAL TAXATION

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of physical taxation. They prefer not to be around Sanguines and Cholerics too much because they tend to try to control and make demands on them; therefore, the Phlegmatic in Inclusion will usually try to avoid the Sanguines and Cholerics. When they cannot avoid them, they will tend to keep them “at bay” by using their humor. Sometimes this humor is dry, sometimes it is witty and charming, and sometimes it can be cutting, hurtful and harsh.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion, because of their low energy level, tend to eat too much and not exercise enough. Therefore, they may tend to have weight problems, which can lead to other physical problems, such as high blood pressure, etc.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance with work, relaxation, exercise and rest.

They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of physical taxation so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful.

Isaiah 40:29 tells us: “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.”

5. FEAR OF OTHERS DYING AND LEAVING THEM WITH THE LOAD (RESPONSIBILITIES)

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to fear being left with the “load” (responsibilities) if their spouse dies. It is hard for them to work all day and then come home and have to carry the load of taking care of the home and children. This is because it takes too much energy, plus time and “know-how.”

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to fear that if a co–worker dies, they must assume more of the workload and/or have to take on the responsibility of training a new person. In either event, they fear it will take too much energy and cause them to be stressed.

Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn that God will be with them, no matter what responsibilities they must take on.

They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of others dying and leaving them with the load (responsibilities) so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful.

Philippians 4:13 tells us: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

CONCLUSION

Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to shine the light of Jesus on their fears and learn that:

1. God wants them to maintain balance in this area and to know that He loves them. He does not want them to fear and become weary in well-doing, as they can be such an inspiration to others.

2. God wants them to maintain a close relationship with Him so that they can learn to balance out preserving their energy and socializing in order to fulfill the call God has on their life.

3. God wants them to maintain a close relationship with Him and learn to seek Him when they need to make changes. He will direct their steps to making changes.

4. God wants them to learn to maintain a close relationship with Him so that He can help them to bring balance into their life regarding work, relaxation, exercise and rest.

5. God wants them to learn to maintain a close relationship with Him and know that He will be with them if they lose a loved one, so they do not need to fear death and dying—He is with them always and is there to support and guide them.

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatics in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at FEARS in the Inclusion area of the Sanguine.

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