Temperament Corner

A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE CHOLERIC IN INCLUSION

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value. He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

PearlQuestion: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “For a pearl to have great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Choleric in Inclusion to see what may be irritating and causing them pain and stress in this area:

Inability to fulfill their temperament need for controlling social relationships because, as leaders in the Inclusion area, they tend not to want others to reject their leadership decisions. This can cause them stress because of their need to receive recognition and approval for their accomplishments, not rejection. They need to look to the Lord for His recognition and approval; He will never reject them.

See Galatians 1:10: (KJV) “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” “Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.” Isaiah 26:3)

  1. Need for perfection from themselves and others. This can cause them stress because of their high goals or expectations. At times, they may feel that their needs for perfection cannot be met because of the imperfection of others, and they can become intolerant, impatient, angry and frustrated. They need to learn to allow themselves, as well as others, to be imperfect, for only God is perfect. They must also learn to forgive and stop being angry at themselves for their imperfection as God understands our weaknesses and, as we submit them to Him, He will do the perfecting.

    See Zechariah 4:6b: (KJV) “…Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”

  2. Inability to say “no” when asked to take on multiple leadership positions in this area. This can cause them stress, irritability and eventually even burnout because they may overload and spread themselves too thin. They need to learn to seek God’s will and let Him direct their steps in order to alleviate their stress.

    See Isaiah 58:1la (KJV) “And the Lord shall guide thee continually….”Also see Proverbs 3:5-6.)

  3. The uncertainty of who they really are at any given time. This will cause them stress because they can wear so many different “masks,” (whatever it takes to accomplish their goals) that, at times, they are uncertain which mask they are wearing. Since they are not sure of who they really are at times, the may feel like imposters and may fear others will think they are imposters too. They need to learn that God always knows who they are and, when they are “riding” that emotional roller coaster, God will smooth things out for them—if they ask Him to.

See Psalm 13:1-2: (KJV) “O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Choleric in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue, we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Melancholy in Inclusion.

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Book Review

Think, Learn, Succeed

By: Dr. Caroline Leaf

 

Our thought lives have incredible power over our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. They can either limit us to what we believe we can do or release us to experience abilities well beyond our expectations. When we choose a mindset that extends our abilities rather than placing limits on ourselves, we will experience greater intellectual satisfaction, emotional control, and physical health. The question is: How do we do that?

Drawing on biblical insights and the latest scientific research, Dr. Caroline Leaf’s 5-step program helps you improve your memory, learning, intellect, relationships, and bodily health. Discover how to strengthen cognitive skills, understand the unique way you process information, practice mindfulness, and much more.

For more information, please click here.

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Sarasota Academy
International
Representative
Spotlight


Cindi Estep of Shreveport, LA, is a Certified Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since August 22, 2017. She is also a member of the NCCA.

Teaching identity is one of my greatest passions in life! Until we fully understand who we are in Christ and the inheritance we’ve been given in Him, it’s very difficult to live a life of freedom and joy. If we don’t have a good mental picture of where we are going, staying on the course is nearly impossible! I believe the same can be said of not understanding your God-given design, which we now know to be the inborn temperament.

Working with people through freedom ministry, coaching, and counseling, I’m continually amazed when I learn the temperaments of those I work with. What keeps me in awe is how it often seems that God gave just the right temperament blends to His children. Once a foundation of understanding of temperament is laid, those people also begin to see the unbelievable care and precision Father God took in designing each one with the exact measure of what they’d need to be overcomers in this life! He made no accidents, and there are no “bad” temperament blends.

Becoming an International Representative has been thrilling for me! Once I learned enough to feel confident in communicating temperament, I decided to teach classes of no more than ten people at a time in my home to my church community and fellow ministry workers. I am now teaching my second Created in God’s Image class and absolutely loving it! I’ve been able to share temperament theory, as well as teach specifics of the Arno Profiling System to people both locally and distant through online video. Soon, I’ll step out and do some coaching with temperament as a basis. I chose the word “coach,” because some people don’t think they need a “counselor” or “therapist.” However, who couldn’t use a “Coach” from time to time in life? I want people to know I’m in their corner cheering them on and helping with strategy for the wins in life.

I believe this information is so valuable to everyone. I continue to receive feedback that testifies of the power that understanding temperament holds to transform relationships, communication patterns, and how we interact and perceive other individuals. It’s beneficial to every arena in life. I’ve been able to use it to encourage frustrated parents, give understanding to misunderstood teens, and energize unfulfilled adults. I’ve seen husbands and wives see each other through new lenses now understanding and appreciating differences that were once unbelievably frustrating.

Seeing such tremendous growth and unveiling of hearts in those I’ve shared it with has given me the courage and desire to continue pouring this much-needed knowledge into the body of Christ (along with anyone else who’s interested). It’s now my ongoing mission to train and teach people about temperament, and I’ve started with those who serve alongside me in ministry. My desire is to share enough knowledge with the church that we can all begin to see people with eyes that see past surface. It’s my desire that those who continually feel (and may have even been told) that something is “wrong” with or defective about how they process things will once and for all understand WHY they are wired the way that they are and begin to appreciate and accept those God-given qualities.

Only when there’s understanding of identity can a person fully become all that Christ has designed and called them to be. Each has strengths. Each has worth. Each has specific needs. Each has a place in the body of believers. We are all made to be in community with each other and none are meant to live isolated or misunderstood. With temperament knowledge, we can all learn to celebrate each other’s differences and see past words right into hearts, understanding the needs. We begin to truly see through lenses of grace.

What freedom can come sometimes simply by a person feeling understood… some maybe for the first time in their life! It’s a feeling like no other when one no longer feels the need to make excuses or cover for a need being met. It offers hope to the one who’s been mentally and emotionally drained, because they’ve had no understanding of how much and what kind of rest they need to make room for in life. It gives people permission to be who they are and not feel ashamed because it’s different from someone else. Insight into temperament also helps us navigate our weaknesses and take time in making decisions or wrong moves that we might later regret.

What an adventure it’s been thus far! I look forward to the next phase I’ll begin soon teaching Creation Therapy to those on my ministry team and those wanting to go deeper. Through some amazing Kingdom partnerships and other local ministry leaders, I hope to get this valuable knowledge and resource into the hands of all those doing Kingdom work. What an exciting day it will be when through ministries we see identities being restored one APS at a time!

 

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