Temperament Corner

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

WHAT IS LOVE?—SANGUINE IN AFFECTION

How many times have you, as a counselor, been asked?

“WHAT IS LOVE?”

Your first response could be to tell them “GOD IS LOVE” (I John 4:16) and direct them to read John 3:16: “For God so loved the world….” (See also I John 4:8-10.)

Your second response could even be to direct them to I CORINTHIANS 13: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love.…”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY?”

Your response could be to tell them that they need to love them with God’s love and direct them to read I John 4:12b: “…If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY DEEP RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD’S LOVE?”

Your responses could be to explain to them that after giving their heart to Jesus, His perfect love will flow through them. The only way they can truly love their deep relationships is by stepping aside and allowing Him to love their deep relationships through Him.

Now it is no longer their imperfect love that is loving their deep relationships; it is His perfect love flowing through them.

Dr. Douglas A. Wheeler points out in his book Betrothed: “We need to learn to accept God’s love.” He wrote: “The love of God has nothing to do with you and all to do with Him. You cannot earn the love of God, because it was there for you from the foundation of the world.”

Your counselees need to learn to rest in God’s love and not strive to meet their own needs for love and affection because God will supply their needs. In so doing, they will be able to meet the needs of their deep relationships.

Nehemiah 8:10 tells us, “…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Putting Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself = JOY!

Psalm 139:14 tells us that God is our Creator: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

As you know, we are triune beings made up of BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT.

Our BODY is our physical makeup.

Our SOUL encompasses our mind, will and emotions. In temperament we call
these areas of the SOUL: Inclusion, Control and Affection.

Mary said in Luke 1:46-47: “My SOUL doth magnify the Lord, and
my SPIRIT hath rejoiced in God my Savior.”

Our SPIRIT is our only connecting link with God.

John 4:24 tells us: “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must
worship him in spirit and in truth.”

Since our Spirit is our only connecting link with our Lord, how can we help our counselees make that connection?

By teaching them that they need to have their Body, Soul and Spirit in balance.

Each area of the Soul (Inclusion, Control, Affection) is trying to meet its needs—either in godly or ungodly ways.

Once we help our counselees learn how to bring balance to their Soul area, then the Spirit can take its rightful place.

We are going to look at ways we can help our counselees line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

In review, Affection is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory connection with deep relationships for love and affection.

The needs within the temperament range from expressing love and affection to all deep relationships to expressing love and affection to only a select few.

They also vary from wanting love and affection from all deep relationships to wanting love and affection from only a select few.

Affection is the need:

1. To express and receive love and approval.
2. For deep personal relationships.

Affection determines:

1. How many of our emotions we share.
2. How emotionally guarded or emotionally open we are.

Affection is unique because:

1. The temperament needs of Affection cannot be genuinely met without a deep,
emotionally close relationship with our Lord.
2. It determines how intimate we are with the extremely close people in
our lives, and it also determines the depth of our feelings.

Each person tends to see the Lord from their temperament perspective. Their individual temperament affects their interaction with the Lord.

They will tend to express love and affection to the Lord in the same manner as they express love and affection to their deep relationships.

If they resist opening up and establishing deep, intimate relationships with others, they may also resist a deep, intimate relationship with the Lord.

Jesus Christ is the Living Word, and when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, He reveals the Written Word (The Holy Bible) to us.

All He wants in return is for us to ask Him into our heart and to love Him with all our heart.

In other words, the temperament need of Affection cannot be fully met without a deep, emotionally close relationship with our Lord.

In this issue we are going to look at some of the Sanguine in Affection tendencies and what they need to do in order to line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

SANGUINES IN AFFECTION TEND TO:

  1. Express their love and affection to their deep relationships by touching because touching helps them to feel “connected. Touching includes snuggling, hugging, holding hands,  kissing, etc. They also tend to like to verbalize their love and affection.
  2. Establish and maintain deep relationships with many people.
  3. Live in the “now.” They need to receive a great deal of love and affection from their deep relationships “right now.” They also need to be told that they are loved “right now, for yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
  4. Try harder to please their deep relationships, especially when they fear their overtures of love and affection are being rejected.
  5. Say and do things that they know are wrong, but do them anyhow to keep from being rejected.
  6. Be highly emotional and may explode in outbursts of anger when rejected by their deep relationships; however, this anger does not last very long, and they soon forget why they were angry. After an angry outburst, they are ready to “kiss and make up.”
  7. Go into a downward “swing” and become moody and depressed when rejected by their deep relationships.

SANGUINES IN AFFECTION NEED TO:

  1. Learn that they can overwhelm or smother their deep relationships with their constant expressions of love and affection, so they need to learn not to make ungodly demands on their deep relationships. I John 4:12 tells them: “…If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”
  2. Learn to establish and maintain a deep relationship with God as diligently as they pursue deep relationships with people. They can never overwhelm or smother God with their constant expressions of love and affection. God will always be there for them. Matthew 22:37 tells them: “… Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.”
  3. Learn not to just use their deep relationships to meet their own needs, but rather to love them as God loves them: John 15:12 tells them: “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”
  4. Learn that they cannot expect their deep relationships to act and react as they do because their deep relationships may not express and want the same amount of love and affection that Sanguines express and want. I Corinthians 13: 4-5 tells them: “Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity (love) envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own….”
  5. Learn not to say and do things they know are wrong because of their fear of rejection. Philippians 4:8 tells them: “Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
  6. Learn to discipline themselves and count to ten before exploding in anger. Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells them: “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” See also Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
  7. Learn when they are rejected by deep relationships, and they “swing” down and become moody and depressed, to turn to God’s Word, the Bible. When they do this, they will discover that God is always there for them and that He is their constant companion—they are never alone. By knowing this, they will be able to “swing” back  and be the upbeat and inspiring person God created them to be. Hebrews 13:5b tells them: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Sanguine in Affection, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at “What is Love?—Supine in Affection.”

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Book Review

Jesus

By: Max Lucado

 

Available Exclusively at LifeWay!

The God of the universe knows your name. He has walked your streets. Jesus. Perhaps you’ve heard about him, studied him, or prayed to him. But do you know him?

By exploring the life and character of Jesus, this compilation from Max Lucado gives you the chance to become more familiar with the man at the center of the greatest story ever told.

It’s a story made even greater by this promise: it includes you. The same one who died to save you longs to remake your heart. By learning more about the person Jesus was and is, you will understand more clearly the person you were created to be. No doubt about it: God has ambitious plans for you.

Don’t settle for a cursory glance or a superficial understanding. Look long into the heart of Christ and you’ll see it. Grace and life. Forgiveness of sin. The defeat of death. This is the hope he gives. This is the hope we need.

For more information, please click here.

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IR Spotlight

SARASOTA ACADEMY
INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

 

Ginger McBride

Ginger McBride of Grand Cane, LA is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since January, 2018. Ginger is also a Licensed Pastoral Counselor through the N.C.C.A.

Currently she is teaching Created In God’s Image and has five (5) students. She plans to teach Creation Therapy to those students soon.


Claiming God’s Promises by Ginger McBride….

It was February 20, 2018. Twenty days into this precious project and God has accomplished so much. I called Debbie around 7pm for an update. She and her family: her husband, children, brothers, and others, were working into the night by the lights of tractors, getting gutters on the house before another rain. She had to let me go. They were at a tedious point.

That’s the way it has been every day since she signed a lease with Heritage Bank on a repossessed home with 3 bedrooms and 2 ½ baths. She told the banker her story. God told her that prison ministry for one hour a week was not enough. God wanted her to open a half-way house for women coming out of the prison system, women He treasured. The banker believed her story and also believed if God told her, it would happen. By the way, the first three months of the lease were free.

This is a story of what happens in the natural while God works in the supernatural. It’s a story about what God does with prayer, fasting, obedience, and claiming His promises. When we take small steps to make these things priorities in our lives, life is not hard – it’s fun. The Bible is full of promises that assure us of an abundant, adventurous life, we just have to have the faith of a “mustard seed” to take those small steps. Our Creator knows what stretches us and builds our faith. He will put one test at a time in front of us. If we cannot pass the test (or refuse to take it), He will send us back to our lessons until He tests us again.

Debbie McClure and I have learned to take the test the first (or second) time. Debbie and I met on a mission trip to Peru. Then, God put us together on a mission trip to Haiti. We were part of a construction team after the earthquake in 2010. Being the only women, we had time to share our hearts for missions with each other. We both felt the Lord leading us to be a part of ministry where no one else was working. We talked about starting a non-profit, but God had to be in the middle of it. We knew we had to start with prayer.

My friend, Sandy Burford had given me a book on fasting a few years ago. If ever we needed to know God’s will, it was now. We fasted and prayed the first 21 days of 2011. We began to see God work. Dusty Feet Missionaries became our first non-profit. It reaches so many needy families. We work with missions’ organizations, but we search to find areas outside the scope of their ministries where we can help at home and around the world. God has taken us on some exciting adventures. We have been His voice, as His love through Jesus Christ has been proclaimed. We have been His hands and feet for those who needed to feel His compassion.

Participation in jail ministry came about as we usually get involved in ministry. My daughter-in-law mentioned that she thought I should join the work of Purchased: Not for Sale, a ministry to prostitutes in the Shreveport/Bossier area of Louisiana. They were having orientation classes on Monday nights in July. Sandy and I went to see what they were all about. After the first class, I called Debbie and asked her to come check this program out. Even though she lives 3 hours away, she made the Monday night classes, including the make-up class.

After the classes, we were given the opportunity to sign up for the different areas of ministry, including visiting women in jail. While I was making my way to talk to the director and tell her that I would be praying for her ministry but I didn’t think I was called to this particular ministry, Debbie was signing us up. I wasn’t so sure about all of this, but I didn’t take my name off the list.

Debbie would drive up every Tuesday. We would meet the volunteers for prayer before visiting inmates. Some volunteers came to see one girl. We would see as many as we could during the Tuesday visitation time. One of the guards asked us if we would like to participate in Tuesday night church services. We set up that orientation and soon we were visiting in the afternoons and going into the women’s cell block in the evenings.

Since there were already women ministers for this cell block, we asked if we could go into Female Mental Health where no one was holding church services. The chaplain asked us if we had counseling experience. We told him no, so he sent us right on in to Female Mental Health. Later he recommended to us, Temperament Counseling through Sarasota Academy and the National Christian Counselors Association.

Debbie and Sandy volunteered me to take the first class. The Created in God’s Image class met on the same night as jail ministry and we weren’t ready to give that up completely. Just as the Purchased orientation, I wanted them to experience these Temperament classes for themselves, so we all started taking one class at a time, through Creation Therapy, Life Coaching, Phase I and Phase II until we were certified.

Somewhere in the middle of all these classes, Debbie began jail ministry a little closer to her home with her nieces, Sherry Patten and Jill Thompson. That’s when the Lord spoke to her and told her one hour was not enough. At first Debbie resisted, but God insisted. She filled out the paperwork for another 501(c)3. We decided Almost Home Behavioral Health Ministries, was a good name for a “more-than-half-way” house.

For the first 21 days in January 2018 we fasted and prayed for Almost Home. We knew only Jesus Christ could make a difference in the lives of the broken. We prayed for the girls. We prayed for God’s will and God’s way. We prayed for the paperwork. We prayed for a place.

The first weekend of January, Debbie and I had the opportunity to be Prayer Boot Camp facilitators, a prayer Bible study from the movie, War Room. Claude King from Lifeway Christian Stores in Nashville, Tennessee, was leading the study at First Baptist Church, Bushnell, Florida. Even though we try to limit our trips during our fasting, it doesn’t always work out. Our prayer time is sometimes in solitude; and sometimes while we are on the go. This year, we would go to Florida for the weekend and start Created in God’s Image classes on Monday night. Our typical prayer and fasting times happen more like Brother Lawrence’s: He prayed while he was “rattling his pots and pans.” We decided this prayer retreat would be good for us and good for the ministry. Rev. Claude King allowed us to share about Almost Home that weekend, then he prayed for us and the ministry. The whole church was excited about what God was leading us to do. Many came offering us words of encouragement.

On January 22-23, Louisiana Southern Baptists held their Evangelism Conference. That’s a meeting that I always enjoy, if I’m in the state. Monday night was class night, but I could be there for the Tuesday sessions. Sandy and I attended our first breakout session on prayer with Dr. Greg Frizzell. He shared on Biblical principles of prayer and his testimony of how God turned a church back to Himself, when the congregation humbled themselves in prayer.

Our next session was with Karen Abercrombe who played “Miss Clara” in the movie, War Room. She shared about Rahab the prostitute and how God used her to be part of the lineage of Jesus. After her talk, Sandy and I went up to introduce ourselves and tell her about our ministry to prostitutes and women in jail due to addictions and bad behavior. She too, was excited and prayed for us and the ministry. So much has been about War Room. I’m pretty sure we will be meeting the Kendrick brothers before the year is over. They will want to pray for us as well. Our state Women’s Ministry Director, Janie Wise, overheard our conversation with Karen. She wanted to know about the ministry and do what she could to help us.

God continues to put people who can pray for us in our path. We met Dr. Brook Bello at the NCCA Conference October 2017. Debbie and Brook have kept up with each other through texts and Facebook. Brook called Monday, February 5, for a prayer time. She had specific prayer requests for her ministry, and we had specific prayer requests for ours. We agreed with each other in prayer. It was a sweet, sweet time.

Pastors and lay leaders from denominational and nondenominational churches have prayed in the house, for the ministry and for the women who will be living there. They have promised to go back to their churches and ask for financial support. We need the financial support, but more importantly, we need their prayers. Others came on weekends to bring donations and work on pending projects. God supplies our needs through money, volunteers, donations of goods and services, causing things to happen and preventing bad things from happening. We accept them all as gifts from Jehovah Jireh.

As I said before, we signed the lease February 1, and the actual work on the house began. Debbie’s daughter-in-law, Angie Wilson, stepped in to help. Angie has been at the house early in the morning until late afternoon, when she goes home to take care of her own household. She sticks by Debbie as Ruth did Naomi. Angie helped paint the Leslie Wilson Room in memory of Debbie’s daughter, and then she has painted all the other rooms that had not been painted. Debbie and Angie are a painting machine. Debbie cleans and primes; Angie paints, and when a Melancholy paints, it’s perfect.

As people sponsor rooms in memory of loved ones, their healing process continues. This community is broken because of pre-mature deaths of too many young adults. Some suffered addictions and overcame them; some were overcome by them. As family members and friends sponsor rooms for their loved ones, and as they see the lives of these broken women healed of their addictions and destructive lifestyles, they will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, God is in heaven and He cares for each one of us, most especially those who the devil is so dead set on destroying.

Please pray for us. Pray that God will anoint us with every ministry gift. Pray that God will give us strength for body, soul, and spirit to reclaim and restore lives the devil has stolen for himself. He cannot have them. Pray that God will continue to send willing workers. Pray for longevity of the ministry that will stop recidivism in our prison system.

Pray that the women we touch with our words and deeds will come to have a true relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Pray that their lives will be restored. Pray that they will see themselves as God’s treasures. Pray that they will understand God’s unique plan for them and be able to implement it. Pray for programs and curricula that will teach in a way that is easy to learn and apply.

Pray that we would always humble ourselves before Almighty God, and give Him glory, honor, and praise for allowing us to be a small part of His mighty work.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

“Everyone whose heart stirred him and everyone whose spirit moved him came and brought the Lord’s contribution for the work of the tent meeting and for all its service and for the holy garments.” Exodus 35:21

“Then I will rebuke the devourer for you so that it will not destroy the fruits of your ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes,” says the Lord of hosts. Malachi 3:11

“The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

“This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Pray that we will be bold to claim and implement all of God’s precious promises for His priceless treasures.

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