IR Spotlight

SACC INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

 

Kathy Charley

Kathy Charley of Shreveport, Louisiana is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since December 31, 2013.

            Currently, Kathy is the president of Personal Growth Association, a Certified Academic Institution Center of the N.C.C.A.  Also, through the N.C.C.A. Kathy became a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor in 2007.

 

WOW! The blessings and magnitude of explosion for Personal Growth Association, in the past two years is amazing, inspirational and mostly humbling.

Let me begin with Dr.’s Rick and Barbara Layton.  I had a delightful Creation Therapy ministry humming along, right out of my dinning room.  One of my former students attended Refreshing Point Ministries and told their Pastors, Dr.’s Rick and Barbara Layton about their new learning in temperament with a curriculum written, by God, through Dr.’s Richard and Phyllis Arno to License Christian Counselors.

“In the beginning God created . . .” Genesis 1:1

“For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalms 139:13-14

The Layton’s were more than interested and continued to follow the progress of this former student throughout the year.  The student shared textbooks, homework assignments, APS Reports and mostly their amazing learning from the Building Blocks of Temperament through temperament not simply “determining an individual’s emotional needs but also determining how individuals react when their needs are not met.”

The Layton’s witnessed, first hand, the personal change in this church member and Creation Therapy student.  They wanted more and this course seemed to compliment their church ministry and vision.  The Layton’s have a heart for helping hurting, burned out and exhausted ministers. They have an anointing to refresh, support, encourage and spiritually heal our spiritual leaders.  It was time to get “equipped” and this was the curriculum to equip their church ministers, spiritual sons and daughters and refresh their congregation.  We began.

I was expecting about 15 ministers and the class-completed registration with 32 ministers, laypersons and community leaders wanting Certification or Licensing as a Christian Counselor.  Goodness, what a happy challenge.  I was blessed with a former student as my co-teacher and we began.  We had joy!  We had grandparents learning to study and take test for the first time in 35 years.  We had new college graduates wanting Christian Counseling training and we had some that, with resistance, took the course because their Pastor asked them to.

Fifteen months later, with every imaginable challenge that the enemy tried and failed to stop our blessing, including the unexpected passing of one of our ministers  . . .  31 students had the most anointed (It’s All About Jesus) graduation we could have experienced.  Dr.’s Richard and Phyllis Arno came in for the weekend as our Commencement Speakers and the rest is joy still being talked about today.  Earlier, Rev. Steven Baran and CFO, Dan Moylan visited our class and taught the students for two hours of education and inspiration.

Personal Growth Association exploded.  Our number one challenge was keeping up with new student growth, counselee referrals, and the next two classes of Creation Therapy ministers.

The growth continues today.  One couple married, moved to Hawaii and is teaching Created In God’s Image at their church.  This student is working on their MA in order to become an International Representative and continue their “calling” as a Minister of Counseling.

Five students have continued their education receiving their BA’s, MA’s and one will complete his PhD this year, all through the N.C.C.A. curriculum.

Suddenly, a most unexpected “God moment” happened.  As if all this growth, challenges that come with growth, blessings and excitement wasn’t enough . . . God spoke to me.  I do not have these “God moments” everyday, so this was without a doubt a “knowing” straight from our Father in Heaven.

January 16, 2014 I was walking to my iPhone to look at my calendar to see the next day’s appointments.  I heard,

“You are to Train, Supervise and Pass to the next in line, and you have two years to do it!  There will be one more small class followed by a larger class. . .”

And that’s all I heard!  I was breathless!  I KNEW, something holy, supernatural and anointed had just happened.  Later, when I shared this experience with Dr. Layton, I called it a “knowing.”  That was the best word I had to describe what happened.  I KNEW!  My, already high energy level, went through the ceiling and clarity of purpose was off the charts.  Every thought, action, and direction was toward “Training, Supervising, and Passing to the next in line!”

So it is.  The current Class of 2016, I call the Rockets because from their first face-to-face interview until now they soared.  I am so greatly blessed by these fifteen students that I can hardly sleep after our Thursday night (5:30 – 7:30pm) classes.

Of course as God does things, I am not passing to the next-in-line to one person, as I expected, we have TWO ministers that are training to take the reigns and God doubled the work we have been honored to do for these three years.

Finally, what I want to share with you is simply say “Yes Lord.”  You probably are already doing that but I can actually tell you not one single manipulation or preconceived vision that I had evolved.  I say “Yes Lord” with every single phone call, appointment, student and counselee.  I hand my personal agenda over to the Holy Spirit every morning.  I made mistakes and had great successes knowing good and well the greatest journey of my life has been saying “Yes, Lord!”

 Getting to know Dr.’s Richard and Phyllis Arno has been a mountain top experience. They came to my home, met my precious 95-year-old mother and prayed with our family.  I HIGHLY recommend the annual N.C.C.A. conferences for educational, networking and inspirational reasons, but mostly to meet and worship with our S.A.C.C. and N.C.C.A. family.  God commissions all of us.  This is the most exciting work and ministry I have ever known.

Unknowing to me, right in the middle of this obedience, joy and hard work God has sent me a magnificent man to love, marry and spend the rest of my life.  We got married on September 18, 2015 (my mother’s 96th birthday) and together we have agreed, among other things, to always say “Yes, Lord!”

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Temperament Corner

THE POWER OF WORDS

A careless word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life.
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill.
A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.
Author Unknown


A word fitly spoken is like
Apples of gold
in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

But I say unto you, that every idle word that
men shall speak, they shall give account thereof
in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou
shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be
condemned.
Matthew 12:36-37

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY WITH THE CHOLERIC IN CONTROL

Temperament Corner by, Dr. Phyllis J. ArnoCommunication is the key to all relationships. When we do not communicate properly,
the results can be devastating. Miscommunicating can cause anger,
wars, murders, family splits, divorces, etc.

The Free Dictionary on the Internet describes the word communication to mean: “a. the art and technology of using words effectively to impact information or ideas. This would be verbal communication.”

Archie Bunker, the rather blunt father in the old TV series, “All in the Family,” made this statement:

THE REASON YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME, EDITH, IS BECAUSE I AM TALKIN’ TO YOU IN ENGLISH AND YOU’RE LISTENIN’ TO ME IN “DINGBAT!”

I am sure that at one time or another, we have probably all felt like
saying that to someone who does not understand what we are trying to
communicate to them.

However, when counseling, you cannot say what Archie Bunker said, but what you
can do is learn to understand your counselee’s God-given temperament.

As a temperament counselor you know that we are not all “wired” the
same. Each temperament acts, responds and perceives things differently.

When you are counseling a temperament different than yours, you need to
learn to set your temperament tendencies aside and counsel this
person according to their temperament.

In this issue we are going to look at the Choleric in Control to
see how to communicate with them according to their temperament.

When you communicate with them:

1. You should not say:

You always want to be in total control when you are asked to undertake a
task, and you don’t want input or suggestions from others.

You should probably say:

You tend to have great leadership capabilities and you believe your way
is best so it is difficult for you to accept input from others.

2. You should not say:

You will undertake bad behaviors in order to gain and maintain control
over others.

You should probably say:

You tend to want to gain and maintain control over others, and sometimes
you may do this in ways that are not pleasing to God. You need to
learn to motivate people in Godly ways.

3. You should not say:

You have a cruel, abusive temper that you will use when people try to
control you and interfere with your independence.

You should probably say:

You tend to express anger with people when they try to control you and
interfere with your independence. You need to learn to control your
anger rather than let it control you.

4. You should not say:

You will become angry when people do not give you recognition and
approval for your leadership accomplishments. You will avoid them and
try to find ways to get even.

You should probably say:

You tend to become angry and may refuse to associate with people when you
do not receive recognition and approval for a job well-done.

5. You should not say:

You are a perfectionist and will be highly critical of others if they do
not live up to your standards of perfection.

You should probably say:

You tend to expect perfection from others, and when they do not live up
to your expectations you may tend to be critical. You need to
remember that only God is perfect and that He does not criticize us
for our imperfections.

6. You should not say:

You are intolerant of people that cry and are emotional because you
believe they are weak.

You should probably say:

You tend to not understand people that cry and become emotional. This is
because this is an emotion that you do not express and you tend to
see it as a weakness. You need to learn to allow people to be who
God created them to be.

When counseling a Choleric in Control, you need to be aware of the
following regarding this temperament:

You do not want to approach the Choleric in Control by
appearing controlling or critical. You need to allow them to express
why they are here for counseling. At times, they may tell you that
they believe that there is nothing wrong in their life; it is their
spouse, family or children that are having the problems.

Because they are leaders in the Control area, they tend to want to take
control of the conversation. They tend to want to give you their
input on how you should conduct this session.

However, since you know that they are a Choleric in Control,
you need to suggest to them that you have a few things to cover with
them and then you will give them the opportunity to express their
thoughts. By doing this, you can keep control of the sessions.

As you can see, communicating according to a person’s unique
temperament is invaluable. The
Choleric in Control will learn that:

1. They need to respect the people around them and appreciate them for
who God 
created them to be, just as you have shown them respect for
who God created
them to be.

2. You have given them the opportunity to share their thoughts and
ideas; now they 
need to give others the same opportunity.

3. They need to allow people to be imperfect. When you teach a
Choleric in Control to learn to submit to God and His headship,
they will be more respectful to others. They cannot be a good
leader until they have submitted to those in authority over them;
otherwise, how can they expect others to submit to their authority?

Please remember that God created a Choleric in Control with leadership capabilities and they are needed for the Kingdom of God.

It is important to know that each temperament has strengths and weaknesses, and we need to always remember that God created the Choleric in Control to be a leader and decision maker; therefore, we need to encourage them to become good leaders and to make good decisions.

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Choleric in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at ways to communicate with a Melancholy in Control counselee.

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Book Review

Enveloped

Enveloped by Carol Erb

 

Carol was living the life of her dreams. When her son found a strange matchbook, she discovered her beautiful marriage harbored a painful secret, one that would cost Carol her marriage, home, and security. From the depths of her despair, Carol turned to God and began a miraculous adventure. When you read Enveloped, you will be inspired to turn every challenge into the hands of your Heavenly Father. Your faith will be increased as you read this amazing story of God’s restoration and abiding love. Every Christian woman will find this book uplifting and unforgettable.

by Carol Erb, Ph.D. 

For more information please click here.

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International Representative Spotlight

SACC INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

 

 

Pastor James L. Moncrief

 Pastor James L. Moncrief of New Smyrna Beach, Florida, is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and an International Representative.  He has been involved with the SACC and the NCCA since 2011. He is a Licensed Pastoral Counselor with the National Christian Counselors Association and is a volunteer Chaplain at Bert Fish Medical Center in New Smyrna Beach, Florida.

Our ministry, Life’s Compass Ministries, is a biblically based ministry whose mission is to inform and educate people through counseling in order to promote health, wellness, and personal growth in all areas of their lives. We desire to help every person discover the purpose for which they were created and allow them to connect with and mature in their created identity and purpose. We provide a full range of counseling services to anyone seeking direction and finding purpose in life.

Who God created us to be (temperament) and who we become (through learned behavior) can be entirely different. We need to find out who we really are, and find ways to become the person God wants us to be (the true self) instead of the person we have learned to be through outside influences. Our experience in utilizing the Arno Profile System as the basis for our services has led us to establishing an initiative whereby we seek to inform people in the marketplace with the prescription (APS) which can be used as a preventative tool to address more profound personal and relational issues before they happen. While personality profiles are popular in the secular world, we have found that the missing piece is the element of God that is critical to living the life God wants for us. We praise God for the APS and how it so profoundly changes the lives of those who experience it for themselves!

3 John 2 says, “God desires above all else that we prosper and be in good health even as our soul prospers.”

We have been partnering with local churches and other faith-based organizations to “fill the gap” whereby we have come alongside pastors to address counseling needs that they may not have the time nor the resources to successfully meet the counseling issues necessary in their communities. We have done seminars, taught the Created in God’s Image course at a local church, and participated in Marriage Boot camps as well as Divorce Recovery workshops.

In addition, we have used the APS for church staff empowerment to create better communication and understanding among its members in how to be more effective in accomplishing the mission of the church to share “the Good News” with temperament knowledge. That is awesome to empower the body of Christ with this tool to do the work of God’s Kingdom.

Our most recent event after months of effort and collaboration involved doing a seminar on “Anger and Bitterness” in Hernando County Women’s Prison facility located in Brooksville, Florida. It also allowed us to introduce the APS to the prisoners and let them see how their temperament tendencies affected their life’s experiences. We were blessed to enlist the help of Scott Lindsey who has been involved in Prison Fellowship ministry for many years. It was a great blessing to coordinate such an awesome event with Chaplain Rosemary Laluz, who serves the needs of the prisoners so wonderfully in spiritual growth and excellent leadership to grow their relationship with the Lord.

It was so inspiring to participate in worship during this event as the women were lifting up their voices in song praising God, while dancing, lifting of their hands, and crying being overwhelmed by God’s grace and hope. For me, it certainly was one of the most tangible experiences of seeing the Holy Spirit’s presence I have ever witnessed! After we opened with worship, we went into the discussion concerning Anger and Bitterness and the Holy Spirit was giving us every word. C.S. Lewis said that we are going to go on forever – this can be very Good News or very Bad News – Research shows that the way we learn and what truths we come to believe in about life, ourselves and the world we live in are in many cases formed upon misconceptions – Misconceptions occur when we hear something, experience something or read something that completely contradicts our beliefs – When we are forced to put our real “Internal” agreements and beliefs side by side with The Love and Truth of the Gospel we are forced to reconsider our life long world views and where we fit into this unbelievable story that is ever so changing and unfolding around us.

Based on 2 Kings Ch. 33 which teaches us that even the worst of leaders and citizens can find the love, hope and faith that leads to real life change and a future with a purpose.  The starting point of breaking the misconceptions we all struggle with is the place of owning personally a brutal honesty about where we are really at specific to our fears, doubts and frustrations as they relate to personal life stories.  Most all of us have stayed in a hotel room and remember the Red Dot marking the location of exactly where your room is at in the event of an emergency and you need to escape to safety – Well, our 1st Seminar and the ones to come revolve around bringing our congregations into The Starting place of recognizing where they really are and what page they are on in the Unfolding story of Abba God’s Love.  In short we share about His Love for each of us and how He hard wired us with a special uniqueness that ever individual has.

Standing on the Fathers Love Letter provided the women of the Hernando CI an opportunity to do their Temperament Profiles.  By using this tool  (with the Holy Spirits presence),  we plowed up the misconceptions that many of the women have had specific to their personal lives’ journey and the True Heart of a Father that designed and Created each one of them with a uniqueness that is needed for the whole of The Family of God to be complete – The Lord revealed a New Perspective and brought down the walls of long held beliefs that were in fact lies that many of the women had carried throughout most of their lives – Namely, that just like the woman at the well who felt the shame and condemnation from her community and the false belief that she didn’t fit into Abba God’s story – just the opposite was discovered – Indeed, our benevolent Creator and Father has purposed and fashioned each one of us with a place in His Kingdom and a significant role in the larger story.

In closing, many misconceptions about Abba God, ourselves and others were dashed to pieces.  We learned with New Hope that, His Heart, His Way and the doorway for fulfilled living is indeed available to all and the discovery and freedom of learning that we’re all created for a special place in the Family of God. Some women had breakthroughs in understanding that the path of receiving His Love and His Forgiveness and then offering this same Forgiveness to those in their lives who have abused and mishandled their hearts is indeed the pathway to living victorious and free lives. We have been asked to return and fully expect to continue to share the love of Christ and introduce temperament profiles to prisons all over Florida. Praise God!

I was asked to offer my insights into an article titled: “Step Out of Your Doubt and Into Your Calling” by Doris Swift.   Please go to the following web site to read it:  http://www.justbetweenus.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=373611

 

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Temperament Corner

THE POWER OF WORDS

              A careless word may kindle strife;

              A cruel word may wreck a life.

             A bitter word may hate instill;

             A brutal word may smite and kill.

             A gracious word may smooth the way;

             A joyous word may light the day.

             A timely word may lessen stress;

             A loving word may heal and bless.

                                                Author Unknown

 

   A word fitly spoken is like

     Apples of gold

       in pictures of silver.

                        Proverb 25:11

 

But I say unto you, that every idle word that

               men shall speak, they shall give account thereof

               in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou 

               shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be  

               condemned.

                                                              Matthew 12:36-37

 

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY WITH THE SUPINE IN INCLUSION.

Temperament Corner by Phyllis ArnoCommunication is the key to all relationships.  When we do not communicate properly, the results can be devastating.  Miscommunicating can cause anger, wars, murders, family splits, divorces, etc.

The Free Dictionary on the Internet describes the word “communication” to mean: “a. the art and technology of using words effectively to impact information or ideas. This would be verbal communication.”

Archie Bunker, the rather blunt father in the old TV series, “All in the Family,” made this statement:

THE REASON YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME, EDITH, IS BECAUSE I AM TALKIN’ TO YOU IN ENGLISH AND YOU’RE LISTENIN’ TO ME IN “DINGBAT!”

I am sure that at one time or another, we have probably all felt like saying that to someone who does not understand what we are trying to communicate to them.

However, when counseling, you cannot say what Archie Bunker said, but what you can do is learn to understand your counselee’s God-given temperament.

As a temperament counselor you know that we are not all “wired” the same. Each temperament acts, responds and perceives things differently.

When you are counseling a temperament different than yours, you need to learn to set your temperament tendencies aside and counsel this person according to their temperament.

In this issue we are going to look at the Supine in Inclusion to see how to communicate with them according to their temperament.

When you communicate with them:

  1. You should not say:

You tend to say your “feelings are hurt” when you are angry.  You just don’t want to admit that you are angry because you don’t want to deal with this anger.

You should probably say:

You need to learn to admit that your “hurt feelings” are actually internalized anger by saying:  “I am angry because…”  By doing this, you can identify why you are angry and free yourself from it. 

  1. You should not say:

You tend to be frustrated and angry in your loneliness and expect people to read your mind. 

You should probably say:

You tend to want others to initiate and give you a personal invitation to social events so that you know that they genuinely want you there.

  1. You should not say:

You tend to be a people pleaser and will wear yourself out trying to please people.

You should probably say:

You have a servant’s heart and tend to try to help everyone who asks you for help; but, if you are not careful, this can cause you a great deal of stress and drain you emotionally and physically.

  1. You should not say:

You have fear of rejection and will pout when people reject you.  You will punish them by emotionally and physically locking yourself into your emotional room or shell before they can reject you again.

You should probably say:

You have a fear of rejection so you will pull away from people; however, when you pull away from them, they will think that you do not want to associate with them.  In other words, you have indirect behavior and need to learn to be more direct. God created you, and He will never leave or forsake you; you are never alone.

  1. You should not say:

You tend to react to emotional stress by bursting into tears.

 You should probably say:

You have a tendency to cry when you are emotionally stressed.  Crying is a safety valve that helps you to deal with your stress.  After a good cry, you are ready to move forward.

  1. You should not say:

You tend to strive for perfection and feel that whatever you do is never good enough.

You should probably say:

You have a tendency to feel that you do not measure up to your standards of perfection. You need to learn to trust in the Lord and let Him do the perfecting. 

WHEN COUNSELING THE SUPINE IN INCLUSION, YOU NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE FOLLOWING REGARDING THIS TEMPERAMENT: 

You need to make the Supine in Inclusion feel welcome since they do have a fear of rejection. They will not usually open up until they know that they are welcome.

You do not want to give the Supine in Inclusion a weakness without giving them a strength to offset the weakness.  Your tone of voice is also important.  They are relationship oriented, and they tend to pay close attention to how you talk to them because they want to know that you genuinely want to help them. They also pay close attention to your body language.

If the Supine in Inclusion becomes upset over something you said or they feel that you are criticizing them, they will usually not make eye contact with you.  This is because they may disagree with what you are saying and, to them, you are “hurting their feelings.” 

AS YOU CAN SEE, COMMUNICATING ACCORDING TO A PERSON’S UNIQUE TEMPERAMENT IS INVALUABLE.  THE SUPINE IN INCLUSION WILL LEARN THAT: 

  1. When they yield their strengths and weaknesses to God, He will do the perfecting. 
  1. They do not need to look for man’s approval when they have God’s approval.  God created them and He loves them; their value is in Him. 
  1. It is all right to say “no.” They do not have to burn themselves out trying to be responsible for everyone and everything. 
  1. They do not have to hide behind the “mask of serving” in order to fill their need for acceptance. They need to learn to let the Lord guide their steps. 
  1. They must express their need to socialize because people cannot read their minds. 

When you teach a Supine in Inclusion that God is with them all the time, they can learn to be more open about their need to socialize. They can also learn to be less fearful of rejection from people when they know that God loves them and will never forsake them.

God created a Supine in Inclusion because they have a servant’s heart and gentle spirit. 

It is important to know that each temperament has strengths and weaknesses, and we need to remember that God created the Supine in Inclusion to bring compassion and comfort to this hurting world. 

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Supine in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

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Book Review

Who Switched Off My Brain?

WHO SWITCHED OFF MY BRAIN REVISED EDITION

Do you ever feel like your brain has just been “switched off”? Have you ever felt discouraged, unfocused or overwhelmed? Are there unhealthy patterns in your life or your family that you just can’t seem to break?

A thought may seem harmless, but if it becomes toxic, it can become physically, emotionally or spiritually dangerous.

Thankfully, we are living in a time of revolution. We can see clearly how brain science lines up with Scripture – your mind can be renewed, toxic thoughts and emotions can be swept away and your brain really can be “switched on.”

In this book:

Learn how toxic thoughts are like poison and how to identify “The Dirty Dozen,” twelve areas of toxic thinking in our lives.

Sweep away “The Dirty Dozen” by breaking the cycle of toxic thinking.

Uncover how your thoughts can actually start to improve every area of your life – your relationships, your health and even your success.

This is a follow-up of the Standard Edition and includes Dr. Leaf’s 21-day Detox Brain Sweep Programs, developed from Dr. Leaf’s clinical practice to eliminate the ‘Dirty Dozen,’ which are twelve areas of toxic thinking.

by Dr. Carolyn Leaf.  christianbooksworld@yahoo.com

For more information please click here.

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Temperament Corner

     THE POWER OF WORDS

 

              A careless word may kindle strife;

              A cruel word may wreck a life.

             A bitter word may hate instill;

             A brutal word may smite and kill.

             A gracious word may smooth the way;

             A joyous word may light the day.

             A timely word may lessen stress;

             A loving word may heal and bless.

                                                    Author Unknown

 

                                   A word fitly spoken is like

                                            Apples of gold

                               in pictures of silver.

                                                       Proverb 25:11

 

               But I say unto you, that every idle word that

               men shall speak, they shall give account thereof

               in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou 

               shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be 

               condemned.

                                                    Matthew 12:36-37

 

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY WITH THE SANGUINE IN INCLUSION

 

Temperament Corner by Phyllis ArnoCommunication is the key to all relationships.  When we do not communicate properly, the results can be devastating.  Miscommunicating can cause anger, wars, murders, family splits, divorces, etc.

The Free Dictionary on the Internet describes the word communication to mean: “a. the art and technology of using words effectively to impact information or ideas. This would be verbal communication.”

Archie Bunker, the rather blunt father in the old TV series, “All in the Family,” made this statement:

THE REASON YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME, EDITH, IS BECAUSE I AM TALKIN’ TO YOU IN ENGLISH AND YOU’RE LISTENIN’ TO ME IN “DINGBAT!”

I am sure that at one time or another, we have probably all felt like saying that to someone who does not understand what we are trying to communicate to them.

However, when counseling, you cannot say what Archie Bunker said, but what you can do is learn to understand your counselee’s God-given temperament.

As a temperament counselor you know that we are not all “wired” the same. Each temperament acts, responds and perceives things differently.

When you are counseling a temperament different than yours, you need to learn to set your temperament tendencies aside and counsel this person according to their temperament.

In this issue we are going to look at the Sanguine in Inclusion to see how to communicate with them according to their temperament.

When you communicate with them:

  1. You should not say:

You like to socialize all the time, and you would rather sit around and talk than get your work done.

You should probably say:

You tend to enjoy being around people because they energize you, but you need to learn to balance your time between socializing and working.

  1. You should not say:

You have a hot temper and will fly off the handle when someone makes you angry.

You should probably say:

You tend to have outbursts of anger when someone upsets you.  You need to learn to count to 10 before reacting.

  1. You should not say:

You have a high fear of rejection and will adopt severe and destructive behaviors to prevent rejection.

You should probably say:

You tend to go along with the crowd to keep from being rejected, so you need to learn to associate with people of like morals.

  1. You should not say:

You are an impulsive shopper, so you should stay out of the stores because you will buy anything and everything you see.

You should probably say:

You tend to like to shop since shopping gives you an opportunity to be with people and socialize.  You must be careful so that you do not spend money for things you do not need.

  1. You should not say:

You live life at a fast pace. You are talkative and want to be the center of attention.  You have a short attention span and will walk away from someone when you lose interest in what they are saying.

You should probably say:

You tend to be upbeat, optimistic and very inspiring.  You enjoy being with people, and you rarely meet a stranger.  You are like sunshine on a rainy day. You do not like to be drawn into long serious conversations; you tend to prefer to go around the room and talk with everyone.

  1. You should not say:

You tend to impulsively spend your money on things you do not need because you live for the day, as you think yesterday is gone and tomorrow might not ever come.

You should probably say:

You tend to be impulsive and live for the day. You need to learn to maintain balance between living for today and saving for tomorrow.    

When counseling a Sanguine in Inclusion, you need to be aware of the following regarding this temperament:

You need to make them feel welcome because they do have a fear of rejection. They will try to dominate the counseling session because they love to be the center of attention. You must learn to take charge of the session.  Allow them time to talk but not dominate.

You do not want to criticize the Sanguine in Inclusion, since criticizing them will throw them into their swing.  They will pout, become moody, and pull away from you.

Your tone of voice is also important.  They are relationship oriented, so they pay close attention to how you talk to them, and they are also aware of body language.

The Sanguine in Inclusion has a short attention span, so they may not hear what you are explaining to them because they may have gotten bored and they may be thinking about what they are going to do when they leave your office. You need to talk and then allow them to talk to keep them involved in what you are discussing with them.

As you can see, communicating according to a person’s unique temperament is invaluable.  The Sanguine in Inclusion will learn that:

      1. You have shown them that they do not always need to be the center of attention. They need to learn to be considerate of others and what they have to say.  
        1. You have shown them that they do not have to take on the morals of the crowd to be accepted. God loves them, and He will help them find people with good morals. 
            1. They need to learn to respect the people around them and appreciate them for who God created them to be, just as you have shown them respect for who God created the Sanguine in Inclusion to be.

When you teach a Sanguine in Inclusion that God is with them all the time, they can learn to be more respectful to others. They can learn to interact with others and not always have to be the center of attention.

Please remember, God created a Sanguine in Inclusion because they can be such a positive inspiration like sunshine on a cloudy day. Their enthusiasm can be an inspiration for all temperaments.

It is important to know that each temperament has strengths and weaknesses, and we need to always remember that God created the Sanguine in Inclusion to bring sunshine, warmth and happiness into peoples’ lives and we need to encourage them to learn to maintain balance with their relationships and their work habits.

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Sanguine in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at ways to communicate with a Supine in Inclusion counselee.

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International Representative Spotlight

SACC INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

 

Dr. Cassandra A. Montgomery
Dr. Cassandra A. Montgomery

Dr. Cassandra A. Montgomery is a Certified Pastoral member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and an International Representative.  She is also a Certified Temperament Life Coach. She has been involved with the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling since 2002. 

We are a Christ-centered, God glorifying faith ministry with a worldwide vision.  Family Bible Ministries Worldwide, Inc. and Apostle Bishop Eddie A. Montgomery, Ph.D. have been affiliated with National Christian Counselors Association (N.C.C.A.) and Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling (S.A.C.C.) since 1992.

However, I have been a member of N.C.C.A. since the year 2000.  I am a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor – Advanced Certification.  I am also Advanced Certified in ten areas offered through the N.C.C.A. curriculum.  I am an N.C.C.A. Clinical Supervisor, Temperament Instructor, and Executive Vice President of our total ministry.  Our C.A.I. has received numerous awards.  The curriculum of the N.C.C.A. through our C.A.I. has enhanced the total program of the University of Family Bible.  Our counseling program provides the student with the skills and benefits to:  identify individual temperament needs, determine temperament perfections and imperfections, identify what causes relationship conflicts and how to utilize conflict resolution, implement a successful five-step method for counseling, and understand the benefits of the Arno Profile System.  We have been enjoying teaching the Certified Temperament Life Coaching program where we are showing the student how their spiritual gifts can work together with Christian Counseling & Temperament Life Coaching.  In our training, we emphasize the need to take the A.P.S. in our counseling and coaching.

I am making a point to emphasize that everyone register early for the Charlotte, North Carolina NCCA Conference for 2015 because we are going to have some outstanding speakers and the best part about that is they are filled with God’s Spirit.  But guess what!  My husband, Apostle Bishop Eddie A. Montgomery, Ph.D. is one of the speakers as well.  So come on and register now so I will see you there!

Tips for Leaders in the Ministry of Counseling & Coaching

We Believe You Must:

*Be saved and have a vital relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ!

*Be a listener with your spirit to identify the problem!

*Be depended on God and His Word to speak to your spirit!

*Have power to be an overcomer!

*Have peace in the face of any conflict, large or small!

*Have protection for you and your family!

*Have the presence of God’s Spirit gracing you!

*Have prosperity demonstrating God’s anointed favor upon your life!

James 5:14-15 says, “Is anyone among you sick?  Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer of faith will save the sick and the Lord will raise them up.”

Seven Keys to Help You Live in a Constant State of Revival

 

Key 1- Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any unconfessed sin in your life.  Ps. 139:24

Key 2- Seek forgiveness from anyone you’ve offended and forgive those who have hurt you.  Make restitution where you can.

Key 3- Examine your motives in every word and deed.
Keep your heart pure. Matthew 5:8

Key 4- Welcome the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Rev. 3:15

Key 5- Be in an attitude of praise and thanksgiving to the Lord. Romans 8:28

Key 6- Remember the flesh can’t please God. Romans 8:8

Key 7- By humility and the fear of God is riches, honor, and life. Proverbs 22:4

Doing the Motivation Gifts & Temperament Life Coaching Spirit-Filled Seminar/ Grief and Loss, I have found that grief and loss is one of the most difficult things that we can deal with.

In my training I have learned how the different temperaments deal with grief and loss:

 

  • The Choleric dealing with death and dying may try to control the situation, show little emotion, belittle the situation appear insensitive or calloused, express anger or become task oriented.
  • The Melancholy dealing with death and dying may become depressed, consider suicide, withdrawn try to pinpoint the blame for what is happening or deal with impersonal responsibilities of caring for the person.
  • The Sanguine dealing with death and dying may expect to be the center of attention, think and exhibit destructive behaviors exhibit swing in mood avoid the reality of death and replace the loved one quickly with a positive upbeat relationship that is happy.
  • The Supine dealing with death and dying may feel guilty, slip lower in self-esteem disconnect from those who provided their greatest encouragement and supportive relationship may help only if asked to help, may appear to not care, and develop a new relationship rather quickly.
  • The Phlegmatic dealing with death and dying may do nothing about it show little emotions, pull away or avoid the situation. Make light of it practically and deal with details, but not get close to the dying person.

Temperament affects coaching because with our motivational gifts and knowing our motivational gifts, we would know how to interact with others during death.  As we know their temperament and motivational gifts, we would know if we have to come to them gentle, straight forward, tiptoeing through the tulips, or just plainly saying the Lord is your helper.  Just know we cannot do anything without the help of the Holy Spirit.

Now, by the Spirit of the Lord moving in our life, I want to pray a healing prayer for you:

          Heavenly Father, it’s not by might, it’s not by power, but it’s by Your Holy Spirit that I come to You today with the need of every person reading this article.  In the mighty Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I thank You for your deliverance from the clutches of the enemy, Satan.   I exercise my authority in the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth that you fail in your attempt to interrupt the work of God! 

          God, I ask You to bring Your healing power to bear against every trouble and every obstacle.  I believe that healing virtue is flowing out of the presence of Jesus into the life of every person reading these words.

 

          Lord, I thank You for the anointing that is upon each one’s life, and I pray that they will be so in tune with the Word and Your Spirit that they will boldly take their stand as Your representatives upon this earth.  I pray that they will prosper, have good success, and finish their course with joy.  These things I ask and pray in the mighty Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Amen and amen.

One of our greatest enhancements in counseling was quoted on Dr. Arno’s CDs for Basic Christian Counseling program, “Love the people, love the people, love the people.”

With great joy I give special thanks to Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno for their special contribution to our CAI and International Representatives status. I give special thanks to the N.C.C.A. president, Rev. Steven M. Baran and his lovely wife Erin, some of the familiar staff:  Michael Dan, Dr. Robert Duncan, Jason Ferrill, and Christin Standifird for all of their help and encouragement along with the whole staff.

For more information or assistance, the University of Family Bible Institute, College and Seminary is located at 5300 Edmondson Ave, Baltimore, MD 21229.  Office:  410-455-0678 or 410-455-0221.  Website:  www.familybibleministries.org

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Book Review

The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children

By: Stormie Omartian

The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children

 

Drawing from the ancient love story of Hosea, a prophet whose life and prophecy map how to fall in love with God, Falling in Love with God will fulfill the desires of all who long for a different–or deeper–relationship with God. This thoroughly Biblical book will help and bless all who long to love God with all their hearts…but just aren’t sure why they don’t, if they could, or how it happens.

For more information, click here

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International Representative Spotlight

 

 

Rev. Susan Beth Hans
  Rev. Susan Beth Hans

 

 Rev. Susan Beth Hans is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and an International Representative.  She has been involved with the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling since March 25, 2014.

The Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling has proved to be a tremendous source, and resource, for the Temperament Counseling ministry at Ezra Ministries in Delmont, PA.   One year ago I became an International Representative.  I have been with the N.C.C.A. as a Licensed Pastoral Counselor in the temperaments since 1995 and a Sr. Pastor of two church ministries.  In May of 2012 Ezra Ministries became a Christian Temperament Counseling, Christian Education and Worship Center.  Our focus is to raise up a generation that is strong (in the Lord) and does great exploits for the Kingdom of God and then instructs others (Daniel 11:32b-33a).

When I became an IR, my purpose at the time was to offer the course; “Created in God’s Image” A Course In Human Behavior: A Christian Perspective”, by the Arno’s.  Several of my clients expressed interest in understanding temperaments other than their own.  Members of our fellowship and those who became familiar with temperament through our outreach ministries also expressed interest in discovering their God created temperament as well as understanding  temperament. The Created in God’s Image course was the ideal response for both groups!

On Saturday, January 31, Ezra Ministries Christian Temperament Counseling and Worship Center held our first one day seminar; Created in God’s Image.   Ten very excited people were in attendance. Some already had their temperament profiles but for the others it was their first experience with the APS.  The possibility of doing in seven hours what you would do in six weeks teaching this course was understandably limited, so I decided my approach would be an overview.   I would concentrate on the areas that I felt would give the greatest understanding and still do the course justice.  At the same time, I wanted to whet their appetites for more!  We began by exploring what temperament is with the first few chapters.  This included;  building blocks of the inner man, the theory of temperament and introducing the three areas of Inclusion-Control-Affection, why Temperament is important, and the interpersonal situations and then the five basic temperaments.   We did a brief overview of the historical and scientific background for temperament.   The afternoon was then spent viewing the individual temperaments touching on the blends in the I-C-A which led to much discussion and was very productive.

I’ll share with you a few comments from the feedback surveys each were asked to fill out about how this seminar affected them; “From the facts presented, I can truly see myself the way God sees me and wants me to be…The presentation was awesome and easy to understand.” M.B. “Liked the opportunity to hear from others and participate” C.J. “What I learned today explains a lot in my life!  Very blessed today!” J.L. “I feel this will help me in working with others to have more understanding of other’s temperaments. I would like to pursue further education in the temperament counseling.” L.Y. “Given an overview of the temperaments, I am better able to understand myself, others and interpersonal dynamics.” H.C. “ I have had previous training in the Arno’s “Creation Therapy” study, however, this seminar really clarified the terms and temperaments and gave me clearer understanding….this day was productive, fun and a real blessing!” R.W.    Each attendee gave excellent ratings and said they would definitely recommend this seminar to others.  Four of the attendees came to the ministry center two weeks later and took the exam.  Three are moving on to Creation Therapy, this is thrilling!  Others are making appointments to gain further understanding of their God given temperament.   A date in May has been set for a second Created in God’s Image Seminar.  Moving with the flow of the Spirit!

I am thrilled to be an IR with the SACC!  Discovery of our God created temperament, as you know, is liberating, healing, and connects us so beautifully to our Creator and each other.  We have been afforded such an exciting as well as exceptional tool to aid our brothers and sisters in the discovery of their personal temperament.  This tool also encourages discovery of their own personal ministry to others.  Using the gifts and graces given by the Lord through each temperament, every member of the Body has the opportunity to become their unique part.  In this hour it is ALL HANDS ON DECK.   Now, more than ever, it is time to raise up a generation that knows their God and knows who they are created uniquely to be in His Image.  The need to recognize others and our unique gifting (temperament) and to love one another is a requirement from the Lord (II Cor. 5:16; John 13:34-45).   Remember the time when Paul rejected John Mark at the beginning of their relationship because he didn’t recognize his temperament?  Paul in his quick tempered demanding Choleric temperament, focused on John Mark’s weakness and failure.  What a mess that was for Paul and Barnabas!   But the Lord, knowing John Mark, purposed him to become a great aid and confidant to Paul….beloved, faithful to the Lord, a true gift and fellow workman in the Kingdom.  How remarkable we truly are, created in God’s Image!

God bless you all so good!

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