Temperament Corner

THE CHOLERIC IN CONTROL
By
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Temperament Corner by Phyllis ArnoWe are going to examine the Choleric in Control.

In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

The Choleric in Control strengths are: being personable (charming), people motivators, leaders, well-organized, disciplined, confident.

The Choleric in Control weaknesses are: a harsh temper, being controlling, an intolerance of weakness, lack of emotions, requiring man’s recognition; being a chameleon (can be whatever it takes).

“A Choleric is a Choleric is a Choleric.”  In other words, a Choleric needs people.  It does not matter whether they are a Choleric in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a Choleric in Control Counselee might ask:

Q.  Why do I like to make decisions?
A.  You have confidence in your decision making abilities.
Q.  Why must I always be in control?
A   You were created to be a leader, not a follower and in order to lead, you need to be in control.  If you are not in control, you will tend to become stressed.
Q.  Why do I prefer to “make the rules”? 
A.  You are good at making the rules.  
Q.  Why do I feel my way is the only way when I am asked to lead?
A.   You have confidence in your leadership abilities.
Q.  Why do I want to make decisions for those around me?
A.  You believe that your way is best for them.
Q.  Why do I react in anger when things don’t go my way?
A.  You believe your leadership abilities are being questioned. 
Q.  Why do I become angry at others when they don’t accept my input?
A.   You believe that they are not giving you recognition and approval.
Q.  Why do I constantly need recognition and approval?
A.   You need this because it tends to keep you motivated.
Q.  What will happen if I do not receive recognition and approval?
A.   You may become angry and refuse to do anything more for the person that withheld recognition and approval from you.  In other words, you tend to want to punish them for not giving  you the recognition and approval you feel you deserve.
Q.   Why do I need others to listen to what I have to say without giving me their input?
A.   You need a sounding board.  You want them to listen to you as you “bounce” your ideas off of them; doing this  will help you to pull your thoughts together.
Q.  Why must I feel the need to control what college my child will attend?
A.   You believe you know the right school for them.
Q.  Why must I feel the need to choose the courses they should take?
A.   You believe you know what career would best suit them.
Q.  Why will I walk away from a project if they will not take my advice and listen to my ideas?
A.   You are angry and insulted.
Q.  Why do I get so upset when those around me start to cry?
A.   You do not deal well with emotionalism since you do not understand this emotion.  You see it as a weakness. Your thought is, “Man up;   don’t be so wishy-washy.”
Q.  Why can I be very charming and then, when I don’t get my way, I can become mean and/or abusive?
A.  You try to motivate people with charm; however, if the charm does not work, you may revert to using anger.  If you are not careful, you could possibly become mean and/or abusive.
Q.  Why do I see people as a machine?
A.  Since you are task-oriented, you see people as “equipment” to be used to complete the project and get the job done. This is how you approach almost everything you do. You need to learn to see people with the eyes of Jesus.
Q.   What can I do when I become angry?
A.  You need to “cool off” and find a friend that you can “bounce off” your thoughts and/or ventilate your anger.  This will help you collect your composure and diffuse your anger.
Q.  Why do others, at times, look at me and say, “Who are you?”
A.   You are like a chameleon; you can be whatever it takes to accomplish your goals. Sometimes you may look in the mirror and say, “Who am I?”
Q.  Why am I so controlling in school?  My parents are always receiving calls from the school informing them that I am telling the teacher how to run the class.
A.You have strong leadership capabilities, and it comes naturally for you to do this; however, you need to learn to submit to those in authority. 
Q. What can I do to help myself? 
A.  Learn to: Develop a close relationship with the Lord and dedicate your achievements to Him and seek His recognition and approval.
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:10
Submit to those in authority over you, starting with God.  He created you to love Him, and out of your love for Him you will desire to submit and serve Him.  Once you learn to submit to His authority, you will truly become the leader God created
If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.” John 12:26 
Become more sensitive (compassionate) to the needs and feelings of others. After all, God created them just as He did you, and He wants you to treat them with respect.
“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” I Peter 3:8, 9Deal with your anger more constructively.

“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.” Psalm 37:8

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Choleric in Control you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

Temperament Corner

The Choleric in Control
By Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

Temperament Corner by, Dr. Phyllis J. ArnoWe are going to examine the Choleric in Control. In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power. The Choleric in Control strengths are: personable (charming), people motivators, leaders, well-organized, disciplined, confident.

The Choleric in Control weaknesses are: harsh temper, controlling, intolerance of weakness, lack of emotions, requires man’s recognition,  chameleon (can be what ever it takes).

“A Choleric is a Choleric is a Choleric.”  In other words, a Choleric needs people.  It does not matter whether they are a Choleric in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a counselee might ask regarding their Choleric in Control spouse, child, co-worker, friends, family members, neighbors, etc.

Q.  Why are they so independent?
A.  They have confidence in making decisions and do not want to be dependent on others.

Q.  Why must they always be in control?
A   They were created to be leaders and they feel unfulfilled when they are not in control.

Q.  Why do they prefer to “make the rules”?
A.  They are good at making the rules.

Q.  Why do they feel their way is always best when leading others?
A.   They have confidence in their leadership abilities.

Q.  Why are they constantly trying to make my decisions for me?
A.  They feel that they know what is best for you.

Q.  Why do they explode in anger when things don’t go their way?
A.  They are not in control.

Q.  Why do they become angry at me when I try to give them my input?
A.   They feel that they do not need your input.

Q.  Why do they constantly need to have recognition?
A.   This is the encouragement that keeps them motivated.

Q .  What will happen if they do not receive recognition?
A.   They can become angry and may refuse to do anything more for you.  This is their way of getting even or punishing you for not giving them the recognition and encouragement they want, need and feel they deserve.

Q.   Why do they tell me they want to talk to me and want to bounce some things off me, but they don’t give me a chance to talk?
A.   They need a sounding board.  They really just want you to listen to them and as they are “bouncing” their ideas off to you, they are actually pulling their thoughts together.

Q.  Why won’t they let me choose the college that I want to go to?
A.   They believe they know the right school for you.

Q.  Why won’t they let me choose the courses that I want to take?
A.   They believe they know the direction you should take.

Q.  Why will they walk away from a project if their ideas are rejected?
A.   They are angry.

Q.  Why do they get so upset when I cry?
A.   They do not deal well with emotionalism since they do not understand emotions; therefore, they see it as a weakness. Their thought is, “Man up, don’t be wishy-washy.”

Q.  Why do they appear at times to be very charming and then, when they don’t get their way, they can become mean and/or abusive?
A.  They try to motive people with charm; however, if their charm does not work, they may use anger, and they can become mean and/or abusive.

Q.  Why do I at times feel like I am just a machine to them?
A.  Since they are task-oriented, they see people as “equipment” for them to use to get the job done.

Q.   What can I do to help them when they are so angry?
A.  Allow them time to cool off and then let them bounce their thoughts off you; this should help them see things more clearly.

Q.  Why do I, at times, look at them and think, “Will the real YOU please stand up?”
A.  They are like chameleons; they can be whatever it takes to accomplish their goals. Sometimes they do not even know who they really are.

Q.  Why is my child so controlling in school?  I am always receiving calls from the school informing me that they are telling their teacher how to run the class.
A.  They have strong leadership capabilities and it comes naturally to them to do this, so they need to learn to submit to those in authority.

Q.  What are some of the ways other temperaments may respond to the Choleric in Control?
A. The Melancholy might say: “Don’t try to control me. I can make my own decisions.”
The Phlegmatic might say:  “Don’t tell me what to do; back off.  I am too tired.”
The Sanguine might say:  “I am out of here.  If you don’t like my input, I quit.”
The Supine might say:  “I have served and helped you, and now you will not help me.  I am done! I quit.”

Q.  How can I live with this Choleric in Control?  They are stressing me!  They treat me like I am a child who is not capable of making decisions!
A.  Enlightenment and understanding is the key.

Encourage them to dedicate their achievements to God and seek His recognition and approval. For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.” Matthew 16:27

Encourage them to seek the Lord’s help in learning how to submit to authority.  A good leader needs to learn how to submit to authority before they can effectively be the authority. “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves….” Hebrews 13:17a

Encourage them to become more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. Just because they cannot feel the emotions of others does not mean they should hold them in contempt and be disrespectful to them. “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”  John 13:15

Encourage them to deal with their anger more constructively. “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Choleric in Control you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will cover possible questions a Choleric in Control counselee might ask.

Temperament Corner

The Melancholy in Control
by Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

Temperament Corner by Phyllis ArnoWe are going to examine the Melancholy in Control.

In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

The Melancholy in Control strengths include: good decision-making and leadership capabilities in known areas, need for little control over the lives and behaviors of others, ability to work with others, dependability, responsibility, reliability, need for truth and order, and self-motivation.

The Melancholy in Control weaknesses include: fear of the unknown, rigidity, inflexibility, sensitivity to failure, rebelliousness, procrastination, and being strong-willed.

“A Melancholy is a Melancholy is a Melancholy.” Even though they are task oriented, a Melancholy still needs people. It does not matter whether they are a Melancholy in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a MELANCHOLY IN CONTROL might ask about himself/herself.

Q. Why do I say, “Wait, and give me a little time before I have to make changes?”
A. You fear change.
Q. Why do I fear change?
A. Change forces you into unknown areas.
Q. Why is this so difficult for me?
A. You are afraid you will fail.
Q. Why do I procrastinate?
A. You need time for the unknown to become known so you can make what you believe is the right decision.
Q. Why can’t I just go ahead and make a decision and not be concerned if it is right or wrong?
A. You are afraid you will look foolish and incompetent and people won’t respect you.
Q. Why will I hurry to complete a project and not check my work for errors?
A. You have the need to look competent, and this is more important to you than the actual competency.
Q. Why does it make me angry when someone points out my mistakes?
A. You think this makes you look irresponsible, and you are angry at yourself for making the mistake.
Q. Why am I so hard on myself if I make a mistake?
A. You feel that you have not lived up to your expectations of perfection.
Q. Why will I do the exact opposite when someone tells me how to do something or tells me how they think the job should be done?
A. You do not like to be controlled.
Q. Why will it upset me and make me angry if someone challenges a decision that I have made?
A. They may have challenged you in a “known area,” and you do not need or want their input.
Q. Why will I, at times, go along with other people’s suggestions?
A. You may need their input because you are in an “unknown” area and do not feel qualified to make the decision.
Q. Why am I more willing to do something for someone when they say, “Would you do this for me?” or “Could you do this for me?”
A. You like the words “would you” or “could you.” When people say these words, you do not feel controlled because they are asking you, not telling you.
Q. Why will I follow some people’s advice and not others’?
A. You will tend to follow someone that you feel knows what they are talking about. In other words, if a person has proven that they are knowledgeable in a specific area, you will be open to take advice from them.
Q. Why do I become stressed if I have to make a snap or quick decision?
A. You feel incapable of making a decision until you have had ample time to assess the situation and have the full picture of what is going on.
Q. Why do I maintain the rule “one strike and you are out” if someone lies to me?
A. You expect and need truthfulness from people. If they lie to you, you will have a difficult time ever trusting them again.
Q. Why do I have a difficult time disciplining my children?
A. You do not like to be a disciplinarian.
Q. Why do I tend to want my children to make their own decisions?
A. It is too stressful for you to make them. It is stressful enough for you to make your own decisions, let alone to make decisions for others.
Q. Why does it disturb me when I see injustice around me?
A. You believe everybody should do the right thing, and if they do not, you believe you need to do something about it now, not later.
Q. What can I do to help myself?
A. Learn to:
1. Develop a close relationship with the Lord and seek His help in facing your fears of the unknown. He is just a prayer away. See II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2. Trust God to help you make your decisions; then you will not have the stress of making your decisions alone. See John 16: 13a: “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth….”
3. Take time to check your work and do it as unto the Lord. In so doing, you will not only look competent, but you will be competent and you will feel better about yourself. See Luke 16:10a: “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much…”
4. Forgive yourself for making mistakes. When you do become angry at yourself, you need to remember that you are human and will make mistakes. God only expects you to do your best and knows that you will make mistakes as only Jesus is perfect. See Ephesians 1:7: “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.”
5. Forgive those who have wronged you and done you harm. God has forgiven you of your sins and mistakes. See Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

 PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Melancholy in Control, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Temperament Corner

THE Melancholy IN CONTROL
By Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Temperament Corner by, Dr. Phyllis J. Arno We are going to examine the Melancholy in Control.

In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

The Melancholy in Control strengths include: good decision-making and leadership capabilities in known areas, need for little control over the lives and behaviors of others, ability to work with others, dependability, responsibility, reliability, need for truth and order, and being self-motivated.

The Melancholy in Control weaknesses include: fear of the unknown, rigidity, inflexibility, sensitivity to failure, rebelliousness, procrastination and being strong- willed.

“A Melancholy is a Melancholy is a Melancholy.”  Even though they are task oriented, a Melancholy still needs people.  It does not matter whether they are a Melancholy in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE!

In this issue we are going to review possible questions a counselee might ask regarding their Melancholy in Control spouse, child, co-worker, friends, family members, neighbors, etc.

Q.  Why do they put up a “no” wall when I suggest making a change?
A.   They fear change.
Q.  Why do they fear change?
A   Change forces them to move into unknown areas.
Q.  Why is this so difficult for them?
A.  They are afraid they will fail.
Q.  Why do they procrastinate?
A.   They need time for the unknown to become known so they can make the right decision.
Q.  Why can’t they just go to plan “b” if plan “a” does not work?
A.  They are afraid they will look foolish and incompetent.
Q.  Why will they complete a project without checking their work?
A.   The need to look competent is more important to them than the actual competency.
Q.  Why do they get angry if I point out a mistake that they have made?
A.  They are usually not angry at you, they are angry at themselves for making the mistake.
Q.  Why are they so hard on themselves if they make a mistake?
A.  They feel that they have not been responsible and/or reliable.
Q.  Why do they sometimes rebel or do the exact opposite when I make a suggestion or tell them how I think the project should be done?
A.  They do not like to be controlled.   
Q.  Why will they, at times, become angry if I try to make a suggestion regarding their leadership decisions?
A.  You may have made a suggestion regarding a “known area,” and they do not need or want your input.
Q.  Why will they sometimes go along with my suggestions?
A.  They may need your input because they are in an “unknown” area.
Q.  Why are they more willing to do something for me when I say, “Would you do this for me?” or “Could you do this for me?”
A.  They like the words “would you” or “could you.”  When you say these words, they do not feel controlled.
Q.  Why do they follow some people and not others?
A.  They will usually follow someone that they feel is a “general.”  In other words, if a person has proven that he is knowledgeable in a specific area, they will be open to take advice from him.
Q.  Why do they become stressed if they have to make an “on the spot” decision?
A.  They feel incapable of making a decision until they have had ample time to assess the situation.
Q.  Why is their rule “one strike and you are out” if you ever lie to them?
A.  They expect and need truthfulness from people.  If you lie to them, they will have a difficult time ever trusting you again.
Q.  Why do they have a difficult time making and enforcing rules for their children?
A.  They do not like to control them; they just want their children to grow up and be responsible,  reliable and dependable.
Q.  Why do they tend to allow their children to make decisions on their own?
A.  It is just too much stress for the Melancholy in Control to be responsible for themselves, let alone their children.
Q.  Why do they get so upset when they see injustice in the world?  
A.  They tend to believe “right is right and wrong is wrong,” so when they see injustice, they believe they need to do something about it.
Q.  What are some of the ways other temperaments may respond to the Melancholy in Control?
A. The Choleric might say:  “Why don’t you step out of your safety zone and make a decision? It could be the right decision.”
The Phlegmatic might say:  “Just make a decision. You are tiring me out with your procrastinating.” 
The Sanguine might say:  “Stop putting up your ‘no’ wall and agree with me!  You are throwing me into my swing because I feel you are saying that my plan is not good enough!”
The Supine might say:  “I helped you with your decision making. Why won’t you help me with making mine?”
Q.  How can I live with this Melancholy in Control?  They are absolutely driving me crazy!
A.  Enlightenment and understanding is the key. 

Encourage them to face their fears.  God tells us not to fear approximately 366 times in the Bible. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22 

Encourage them to submit to God’s authority. By submitting to His authority, they will be able to submit to those in authority over them in the workplace, at church, at home, etc.  Melancholies in Control need to learn to give permission to those in authority over them and by so doing, the Melancholy is still in control.  “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers.  For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.” Romans 13:1

Encourage them to seek the Lord’s help in making decisions in their unknown areas, and then they will be able to make their decisions with confidence.  This will lessen their fear of the unknown, and they will then be able to say as Paul said in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” 

Encourage them that if their trust has been violated, they need to forgive the person or persons who violated that trust.  They need to remember that we serve a God of second chances. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Melancholy in Control, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will cover possible questions a Melancholy in Control counselee might ask. 

Home | I.R. Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

Temperament Corner

THE SUPINE IN CONTROL
By Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Temperament Corner by, Dr. Phyllis J. ArnoWe are going to examine the Supine in Control.

In review, Control is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in respect to decision making, control and power.

Some of the Supine in Control strengths include: dependability, ability to uphold and enforce “the policies” and/or rules set by others and to serve those they follow. They are caregivers, and they are faithful and loyal.

Some of the Supine in Control weaknesses include: internalized anger, dependence on others for leadership, weak willpower, difficulty in saying no to self and others, and tendency to feel powerless and at the mercy of others.

“A Supine is a Supine is a Supine.”  In other words, a Supine needs people.  It does not matter whether they are a Supine in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE! In this issue we are going to review possible questions a Supine in Control counselee might ask.

Q.  Why am I so easily offended by people when they do not include me when they are making decisions that affect me?
A.  You perceive that they are rejecting you.
Q.   Why do I dislike being the one who must make decisions for the project we are working on?
A.   You do not want the responsibility.
Q.   Why do I prefer that others make the rules so that I can uphold and enforce them?
A.    It is less stressful for you.
Q.   Why do I feel stressed, anxious and insecure one day, but the next day I do not?
A.   You feel incapable of making leadership decisions on your own and become stressed, anxious, insecure and fearful; then, when you find someone to help you make your decisions, the stress lifts off  you.
Q.   Why do I feel powerless and at the mercy of others?
A.   You feel that you do not have the strength to stand up to them.
Q.   Why do I pull away from people if they don’t include me when making decisions that affect me?
A.   You feel “hurt” (angry) and rejected.
Q.   Why do I sometimes sulk, pout and pull away from people?
A.   This is your way of letting them know that they have “hurt” (angered) you.
Q.   Why don’t I just come out and say “I’m angry” instead of “I am hurt”?
A.   You tend to feel that saying “I am hurt” is less offensive and confrontational.
Q.   What do you mean when you say I have indirect behaviors?
A.   You take the “roundabout” way.  You act like you do not want to be included in decision making, but you really do.
Q.   Why do I do this?
A.   You want people to know or “read your mind” without having to tell them that you want to be included in their decision making and, at times, you want them to help you make your decisions.
Q.   Why do I wait to be included or invited in the decision making?
A.   You want people to be genuine, and you feel that if you have to ask to be included, that they really did not want to include you.
Q.   Why do I have a difficult time saying “no”?
A.   You need people to help you make your decisions, so you will not say “no” to them because you tend to think, “If I help them, they will help me.”
Q.   Why do you say I have a gentle spirit? What does this mean?
A.   You tend to be kind and tenderhearted.  You are not harsh or severe.
Q.   Why will my friends pull away from me when I keep coming to them for help with making my decisions?
A.   They may feel that you are becoming too dependent on them.
Q.   After someone gives me advice, why do I disregard their suggestions and listen to someone else’s advice?
A.   You don’t like to offend anyone, so you will go along with what the next person tells you.
Q.   Why will I continue to take abuse from my spouse?
A.   You may feel like you have done something to deserve being abused and, if you left this abusive situation, your thoughts  might be: “Where would I go?” and “Who will take care of me?” You may even think, “If I tell myself that they do not really mean to hurt me, things will get better.”
Q.   Why do I feel like I must have done something to deserve being abused?
A.   You have low self-esteem, and you need to replace your self-esteem with Christ esteem.
Q.   Why will I look to my children to help me make decisions?
A.   You do not like to make decisions alone, so you will solicit their help.
Q.   Why will I be so different at home than when I am in school?
A.  Your decisions are usually made for you at home so you do not have to make decisions on your own.  At school you have to make decisions on your own and you  are afraid that you will make the wrong decision and be rejected.
Q.    What can I do about my feelings of rejection and worthlessness?
A.    You need to see yourself as uniquely created by God.  You are His child and as His child, you have Christ-esteem, not self-esteem, and you can do all things through Christ Jesus.  (See Philippians 4:13)
Q.    What can I do about my “hurt” feelings?
A.   Recognize that your “hurt” feelings are actually internalized anger.  You need to learn to say, “I am angry because….”  Identifying why you are angry is the first step to rid yourself of this anger and the stress that accompanies it.
Q.    Why do I get stressed when I have to make a leadership decision alone?
A.   You tend to feel that your decisions will not be accepted.
Q.    Why do I want to run away when I am overwhelmed?
A.   You feel this will lessen your stress; however, you can never run away from yourself. To lessen your stress, turn it over to God; He will help you.

Q.   What can I do to help myself?

A:

1. Learn to be direct. When you want to be included in decision making or when you need help from others with your leadership decisions, tell them that you want to be included; they cannot read your mind.

2.  Develop a close relationship with the Lord and seek His help in making your decisions. He will always be there for you.  He is just a prayer away. Hebrews 13:5 tells us, “…for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

3.  Know in your heart that God created you and you are valuable to Him. Psalm 139:14 tells us, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

4. Understand that God created you a follower to uphold and enforce the rules and you are valuable to the Kingdom of God.  God made leaders, followers, peacemakers/negotiators, writers, artists, singers, etc., because it takes all of the temperaments to make up the Body of Christ.

5.  Learn that you do not have to take abuse from anyone.  No one deserves to be abused.

6.  Learn to maintain balance in your work and rest and  that it is okay to say “no.” You do not have to do more than you are capable of doing. God only requires reasonable service.

7.  Learn that when you say “I am hurt,” you are really angry.  You need to say, “I am angry because…” and rid yourself of this anger so that you do not lose your gentle spirit.

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Supine in Control you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

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