Temperament Corner

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

WHAT IS LOVE?—SUPINE IN AFFECTION

How many times have you, as a counselor, been asked?

“WHAT IS LOVE?”

Your first response would be to tell them “GOD IS LOVE” (I John 4:16) and direct them to read John 3:16: “For God so loved the world…” (See also I John 4:8-10).

Your second response would probably be to direct them to I CORINTHIANS 13: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love.…”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY?”

Your response could be to tell them that they need to love them with God’s love and direct them to read I John 4:12b: “…If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY DEEP RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD’S LOVE?”

Your response could be to explain to them that after giving their heart to Jesus, His perfect love will flow through them. The only way they can truly love their deep relationships is by stepping aside and allowing Him to love their deep relationships through them.

Now it is no longer their imperfect love that is loving their deep relationships; it is His perfect love flowing through them.

Dr. Douglas A. Wheeler points out in his book Betrothed: “We need to learn to accept God’s love.” He wrote: “The love of God has nothing to do with you and all to do with Him. You cannot earn the love of God, because it was there for you from the foundation of the world.”

Your counselees need to learn to rest in God’s love and not strive to meet their own needs for love and affection because God will supply their needs. In so doing, they will be able to meet the needs of their deep relationships. Nehemiah 8:10 tells us “…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Putting Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself = JOY!

Psalm 139:14 tells us that God is our Creator: I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

As you know, we are triune beings made up of BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT.

Our BODY is our physical makeup.

Our SOUL encompasses our mind, will and emotions. In temperament we call these areas of the SOUL: Inclusion, Control and Affection.

Mary said in Luke 1:46-47: “My SOUL doth magnify the Lord, and my SPIRIT  hath rejoiced in God my Savior.”

Our SPIRIT is our only connecting link with God.

John 4:24 tells us: “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.”

Since our Spirit is our only connecting link with our Lord, how can we help our counselees make that connection?

By teaching them that they need to have their Body, Soul and Spirit in balance.

Each area of the Soul (Inclusion, Control, Affection) is trying to meet its needs—either in godly or ungodly ways.

Once we help our counselees learn how to bring balance to their Soul area, then the Spirit can take His rightful place. We are going to look at ways we can help our counselees line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

In review, Affection is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory connection with deep relationships for love and affection.

The needs within the temperament range from expressing love and affection to all deep relationships to expressing love and affection to only a select few.

They also vary from wanting love and affection from all deep relationships to wanting love and affection from only a select few.

Affection is the need:

  1. To express and receive love and approval.
  2. For deep personal relationships.

Affection determines:

  1. How many of our emotions we share.
  2. How emotionally guarded or emotionally open we are.

Affection is unique because:

  1. The temperament needs of Affection cannot be genuinely met without a deep, emotionally close relationship with our Lord.
  2. It determines how intimate we are with the extremely close people in our lives, and it also determines the depth of our feelings.

Each person tends to see the Lord from their temperament perspective. Their individual temperament affects their interaction with the Lord.

They will tend to express love and affection to the Lord in the same manner as they express love and affection to their deep relationships.

If they resist opening up and establishing deep, intimate relationships with others, they may also resist a deep, intimate relationship with the Lord.

Jesus Christ is the Living Word, and when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, He reveals the Written Word (The Holy Bible) to us.

All He wants in return is for us to ask Him into our heart and to love Him with all our heart.

In other words, the temperament need of Affection cannot be fully met without a deep, emotionally close relationship with our Lord.

In this issue we are going to look at some of the Supine in Affection tendencies and what they need to do in order to line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

SUPINES IN AFFECTION TEND TO:

  1. Be responders rather than initiators for two reasons:
    1. They have a high fear of rejection
    2. They feel that if their deep relationships initiate, their love will then be genuine.
  2. Feel worthless and unlovable at times. They see value in others but not themselves, so they are unable to understand who could love them; therefore, they will be constantly looking for reasons why their deep relationships should not love them.
  3. Be tenderhearted and emotional. They have a capacity of serving their deep relationships, but they need recognition for what they do; otherwise, they will feel used and become bitter and angry.
  4. Internalize their anger and mask it as “hurt” feelings. They prefer saying their “feelings are hurt” rather than saying “I am angry.” This is because they believe that their deep relationships should know that they “hurt their feelings.”
  5. Cry when they become emotional because they do not know how to deal with the rejection from their deep relationships.
  6. Require and will respond to a great deal of love and affection. They will respond with touching, hugging and kissing, as well as responding by serving and performing tasks for their deep relationships. They need intimacy as much as the actual act of sex because they need to be hugged and cuddled.
  7. Perceive rejection and become easily offended and insulted, especially when their deep relationships do not initiate love and affection.

SUPINES IN AFFECTION NEED TO:

  1. Learn that God created them and loves them so much. He wants them to open up their heart and let His love flow through them. When they do this, the love that flows through them will be God’s genuine, perfect loveand as we know, “perfect love casteth out all fear! See I John 4:18: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
  2. Learn that their feelings of worthlessness and of being unlovable are just that, feelings. The fact is that God loves them so much that He sacrificed his own son on the cross to atone for their sins. See John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” See also II Thessalonians 2:16-17: “Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.”
  3. Learn to look to God for recognition and approval, not to their deep relationships so that they do not feel used and become bitter and angry. See Ephesians 4:31: (NIV) “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” See also Philippians 4:19: “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” See also Proverbs 15:13: “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance….”
  4. Learn to admit that when they say their “feelings are hurt,” they are actually saying “I am angry.” Once they admit that are actually angry, they need to learn to deal with this anger by forgiving the person who angered them. See Ephesians 4:26: “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” See also Colossians 3:12-13: “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
  5. Learn that it is okay to express their emotions by crying, just as Luke wrote in the book of Acts . See Acts 20:19a: “Serving the Lord with all humility of mind, and with many tears….” Jesus wept when he was told Lazarus had died. See John 11:35-36: “Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!” See Psalm 56:8: Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?”
  6. Learn to initiate love and affection. The Holy Scriptures tell us to love God with all our heart, mind and soul, so that His perfect love can flow through us. See Matthew 22:37-38: “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, And with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” See also I John 4:12b: “If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”
  7. Learn that when they perceive rejection from their deep relationships, and they become offended and insulted, they need to turn to God’s Word, the Bible. The Bible tells us that God is always with them and that His perfect love cast out all fears of rejection. See Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” See Ephesians 3:17-19: That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Supine in Affection, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

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IR Spotlight

Sarasota Academy
International
Representative
Spotlight


Dr. John Pelizzari of Belton, Texas, is a Certified Pastoral Member of Sarasota Academy and an International Representative. He has been an International Representative since March 6, 2002.

I believe that you are reading this because you have a heart for people, and as we all know, people come with problems…lots of them. Our passion in healing the brokenhearted, restoring those in need of deliverance from themselves and their past; to free those who are captives in their minds and in their hearts and to guide those that have been bruised in life, is the foundation, in my opinion, of what Creation Therapy is all about.

I have been involved with this dynamic method for over 15 years. When counseling couples, by utilizing the counselor’s suggestions on their profiles, many marriages have been radically changed for the better. Directing the couple to begin looking for ways to ‘out give’ or bless one another on a continual, daily basis helps in meeting their spouse’s temperament needs. As their outlook changes, their lives change. Intimacy returns and marriages grow stronger.

Using the principles of Creation Therapy and the APS reports is just as effective when counseling families as well. Addressing the differences in their temperament diffuses the strife and the conflicts within that family and healthy changes occur. Time and time again families received healing and restoration.

Whether we are teaching the Creation Therapy class or counseling individuals, we have found that a domino effect takes place; especially when using the APS reports. First, we see that our students/clients are coming to a place of self-acceptance when their temperament is explained. Second, as we encourage them to seek ways to meet their temperament needs, a healthier perspective on life develops and an inner freedom becomes more evident. They find themselves being able to live and work with those around them becoming easier.

We have used this on a larger scale in our prison ministry. We have identified that the majority of inmates are incarcerated due to unmet needs which led to criminal behaviors. In addition, we are in the process of teaching Creation Therapy at our prison missionary training facility in New Mexico as part of the curriculum.

Understanding the differences in temperaments, incorporating the APS profile along with prayer brings a standard of excellence to ones calling to help a hurting humanity. In our church and ministries, as an IR, we make Creation Therapy available and the responses are always positive. Some have even taken the course more than once. Our students report that it is both informational and therapeutic to themselves as well.

‘For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” Proverbs 23:7 KJV

 

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Temperament Corner

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

WHAT IS LOVE?—SANGUINE IN AFFECTION

How many times have you, as a counselor, been asked?

“WHAT IS LOVE?”

Your first response could be to tell them “GOD IS LOVE” (I John 4:16) and direct them to read John 3:16: “For God so loved the world….” (See also I John 4:8-10.)

Your second response could even be to direct them to I CORINTHIANS 13: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love.…”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY?”

Your response could be to tell them that they need to love them with God’s love and direct them to read I John 4:12b: “…If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY DEEP RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD’S LOVE?”

Your responses could be to explain to them that after giving their heart to Jesus, His perfect love will flow through them. The only way they can truly love their deep relationships is by stepping aside and allowing Him to love their deep relationships through Him.

Now it is no longer their imperfect love that is loving their deep relationships; it is His perfect love flowing through them.

Dr. Douglas A. Wheeler points out in his book Betrothed: “We need to learn to accept God’s love.” He wrote: “The love of God has nothing to do with you and all to do with Him. You cannot earn the love of God, because it was there for you from the foundation of the world.”

Your counselees need to learn to rest in God’s love and not strive to meet their own needs for love and affection because God will supply their needs. In so doing, they will be able to meet the needs of their deep relationships.

Nehemiah 8:10 tells us, “…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Putting Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself = JOY!

Psalm 139:14 tells us that God is our Creator: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

As you know, we are triune beings made up of BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT.

Our BODY is our physical makeup.

Our SOUL encompasses our mind, will and emotions. In temperament we call
these areas of the SOUL: Inclusion, Control and Affection.

Mary said in Luke 1:46-47: “My SOUL doth magnify the Lord, and
my SPIRIT hath rejoiced in God my Savior.”

Our SPIRIT is our only connecting link with God.

John 4:24 tells us: “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must
worship him in spirit and in truth.”

Since our Spirit is our only connecting link with our Lord, how can we help our counselees make that connection?

By teaching them that they need to have their Body, Soul and Spirit in balance.

Each area of the Soul (Inclusion, Control, Affection) is trying to meet its needs—either in godly or ungodly ways.

Once we help our counselees learn how to bring balance to their Soul area, then the Spirit can take its rightful place.

We are going to look at ways we can help our counselees line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

In review, Affection is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory connection with deep relationships for love and affection.

The needs within the temperament range from expressing love and affection to all deep relationships to expressing love and affection to only a select few.

They also vary from wanting love and affection from all deep relationships to wanting love and affection from only a select few.

Affection is the need:

1. To express and receive love and approval.
2. For deep personal relationships.

Affection determines:

1. How many of our emotions we share.
2. How emotionally guarded or emotionally open we are.

Affection is unique because:

1. The temperament needs of Affection cannot be genuinely met without a deep,
emotionally close relationship with our Lord.
2. It determines how intimate we are with the extremely close people in
our lives, and it also determines the depth of our feelings.

Each person tends to see the Lord from their temperament perspective. Their individual temperament affects their interaction with the Lord.

They will tend to express love and affection to the Lord in the same manner as they express love and affection to their deep relationships.

If they resist opening up and establishing deep, intimate relationships with others, they may also resist a deep, intimate relationship with the Lord.

Jesus Christ is the Living Word, and when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, He reveals the Written Word (The Holy Bible) to us.

All He wants in return is for us to ask Him into our heart and to love Him with all our heart.

In other words, the temperament need of Affection cannot be fully met without a deep, emotionally close relationship with our Lord.

In this issue we are going to look at some of the Sanguine in Affection tendencies and what they need to do in order to line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

SANGUINES IN AFFECTION TEND TO:

  1. Express their love and affection to their deep relationships by touching because touching helps them to feel “connected. Touching includes snuggling, hugging, holding hands,  kissing, etc. They also tend to like to verbalize their love and affection.
  2. Establish and maintain deep relationships with many people.
  3. Live in the “now.” They need to receive a great deal of love and affection from their deep relationships “right now.” They also need to be told that they are loved “right now, for yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
  4. Try harder to please their deep relationships, especially when they fear their overtures of love and affection are being rejected.
  5. Say and do things that they know are wrong, but do them anyhow to keep from being rejected.
  6. Be highly emotional and may explode in outbursts of anger when rejected by their deep relationships; however, this anger does not last very long, and they soon forget why they were angry. After an angry outburst, they are ready to “kiss and make up.”
  7. Go into a downward “swing” and become moody and depressed when rejected by their deep relationships.

SANGUINES IN AFFECTION NEED TO:

  1. Learn that they can overwhelm or smother their deep relationships with their constant expressions of love and affection, so they need to learn not to make ungodly demands on their deep relationships. I John 4:12 tells them: “…If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”
  2. Learn to establish and maintain a deep relationship with God as diligently as they pursue deep relationships with people. They can never overwhelm or smother God with their constant expressions of love and affection. God will always be there for them. Matthew 22:37 tells them: “… Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.”
  3. Learn not to just use their deep relationships to meet their own needs, but rather to love them as God loves them: John 15:12 tells them: “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”
  4. Learn that they cannot expect their deep relationships to act and react as they do because their deep relationships may not express and want the same amount of love and affection that Sanguines express and want. I Corinthians 13: 4-5 tells them: “Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity (love) envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own….”
  5. Learn not to say and do things they know are wrong because of their fear of rejection. Philippians 4:8 tells them: “Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
  6. Learn to discipline themselves and count to ten before exploding in anger. Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells them: “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” See also Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
  7. Learn when they are rejected by deep relationships, and they “swing” down and become moody and depressed, to turn to God’s Word, the Bible. When they do this, they will discover that God is always there for them and that He is their constant companion—they are never alone. By knowing this, they will be able to “swing” back  and be the upbeat and inspiring person God created them to be. Hebrews 13:5b tells them: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Sanguine in Affection, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at “What is Love?—Supine in Affection.”

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Book Review

Jesus

By: Max Lucado

 

Available Exclusively at LifeWay!

The God of the universe knows your name. He has walked your streets. Jesus. Perhaps you’ve heard about him, studied him, or prayed to him. But do you know him?

By exploring the life and character of Jesus, this compilation from Max Lucado gives you the chance to become more familiar with the man at the center of the greatest story ever told.

It’s a story made even greater by this promise: it includes you. The same one who died to save you longs to remake your heart. By learning more about the person Jesus was and is, you will understand more clearly the person you were created to be. No doubt about it: God has ambitious plans for you.

Don’t settle for a cursory glance or a superficial understanding. Look long into the heart of Christ and you’ll see it. Grace and life. Forgiveness of sin. The defeat of death. This is the hope he gives. This is the hope we need.

For more information, please click here.

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IR Spotlight

SARASOTA ACADEMY
INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

 

Ginger McBride

Ginger McBride of Grand Cane, LA is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since January, 2018. Ginger is also a Licensed Pastoral Counselor through the N.C.C.A.

Currently she is teaching Created In God’s Image and has five (5) students. She plans to teach Creation Therapy to those students soon.


Claiming God’s Promises by Ginger McBride….

It was February 20, 2018. Twenty days into this precious project and God has accomplished so much. I called Debbie around 7pm for an update. She and her family: her husband, children, brothers, and others, were working into the night by the lights of tractors, getting gutters on the house before another rain. She had to let me go. They were at a tedious point.

That’s the way it has been every day since she signed a lease with Heritage Bank on a repossessed home with 3 bedrooms and 2 ½ baths. She told the banker her story. God told her that prison ministry for one hour a week was not enough. God wanted her to open a half-way house for women coming out of the prison system, women He treasured. The banker believed her story and also believed if God told her, it would happen. By the way, the first three months of the lease were free.

This is a story of what happens in the natural while God works in the supernatural. It’s a story about what God does with prayer, fasting, obedience, and claiming His promises. When we take small steps to make these things priorities in our lives, life is not hard – it’s fun. The Bible is full of promises that assure us of an abundant, adventurous life, we just have to have the faith of a “mustard seed” to take those small steps. Our Creator knows what stretches us and builds our faith. He will put one test at a time in front of us. If we cannot pass the test (or refuse to take it), He will send us back to our lessons until He tests us again.

Debbie McClure and I have learned to take the test the first (or second) time. Debbie and I met on a mission trip to Peru. Then, God put us together on a mission trip to Haiti. We were part of a construction team after the earthquake in 2010. Being the only women, we had time to share our hearts for missions with each other. We both felt the Lord leading us to be a part of ministry where no one else was working. We talked about starting a non-profit, but God had to be in the middle of it. We knew we had to start with prayer.

My friend, Sandy Burford had given me a book on fasting a few years ago. If ever we needed to know God’s will, it was now. We fasted and prayed the first 21 days of 2011. We began to see God work. Dusty Feet Missionaries became our first non-profit. It reaches so many needy families. We work with missions’ organizations, but we search to find areas outside the scope of their ministries where we can help at home and around the world. God has taken us on some exciting adventures. We have been His voice, as His love through Jesus Christ has been proclaimed. We have been His hands and feet for those who needed to feel His compassion.

Participation in jail ministry came about as we usually get involved in ministry. My daughter-in-law mentioned that she thought I should join the work of Purchased: Not for Sale, a ministry to prostitutes in the Shreveport/Bossier area of Louisiana. They were having orientation classes on Monday nights in July. Sandy and I went to see what they were all about. After the first class, I called Debbie and asked her to come check this program out. Even though she lives 3 hours away, she made the Monday night classes, including the make-up class.

After the classes, we were given the opportunity to sign up for the different areas of ministry, including visiting women in jail. While I was making my way to talk to the director and tell her that I would be praying for her ministry but I didn’t think I was called to this particular ministry, Debbie was signing us up. I wasn’t so sure about all of this, but I didn’t take my name off the list.

Debbie would drive up every Tuesday. We would meet the volunteers for prayer before visiting inmates. Some volunteers came to see one girl. We would see as many as we could during the Tuesday visitation time. One of the guards asked us if we would like to participate in Tuesday night church services. We set up that orientation and soon we were visiting in the afternoons and going into the women’s cell block in the evenings.

Since there were already women ministers for this cell block, we asked if we could go into Female Mental Health where no one was holding church services. The chaplain asked us if we had counseling experience. We told him no, so he sent us right on in to Female Mental Health. Later he recommended to us, Temperament Counseling through Sarasota Academy and the National Christian Counselors Association.

Debbie and Sandy volunteered me to take the first class. The Created in God’s Image class met on the same night as jail ministry and we weren’t ready to give that up completely. Just as the Purchased orientation, I wanted them to experience these Temperament classes for themselves, so we all started taking one class at a time, through Creation Therapy, Life Coaching, Phase I and Phase II until we were certified.

Somewhere in the middle of all these classes, Debbie began jail ministry a little closer to her home with her nieces, Sherry Patten and Jill Thompson. That’s when the Lord spoke to her and told her one hour was not enough. At first Debbie resisted, but God insisted. She filled out the paperwork for another 501(c)3. We decided Almost Home Behavioral Health Ministries, was a good name for a “more-than-half-way” house.

For the first 21 days in January 2018 we fasted and prayed for Almost Home. We knew only Jesus Christ could make a difference in the lives of the broken. We prayed for the girls. We prayed for God’s will and God’s way. We prayed for the paperwork. We prayed for a place.

The first weekend of January, Debbie and I had the opportunity to be Prayer Boot Camp facilitators, a prayer Bible study from the movie, War Room. Claude King from Lifeway Christian Stores in Nashville, Tennessee, was leading the study at First Baptist Church, Bushnell, Florida. Even though we try to limit our trips during our fasting, it doesn’t always work out. Our prayer time is sometimes in solitude; and sometimes while we are on the go. This year, we would go to Florida for the weekend and start Created in God’s Image classes on Monday night. Our typical prayer and fasting times happen more like Brother Lawrence’s: He prayed while he was “rattling his pots and pans.” We decided this prayer retreat would be good for us and good for the ministry. Rev. Claude King allowed us to share about Almost Home that weekend, then he prayed for us and the ministry. The whole church was excited about what God was leading us to do. Many came offering us words of encouragement.

On January 22-23, Louisiana Southern Baptists held their Evangelism Conference. That’s a meeting that I always enjoy, if I’m in the state. Monday night was class night, but I could be there for the Tuesday sessions. Sandy and I attended our first breakout session on prayer with Dr. Greg Frizzell. He shared on Biblical principles of prayer and his testimony of how God turned a church back to Himself, when the congregation humbled themselves in prayer.

Our next session was with Karen Abercrombe who played “Miss Clara” in the movie, War Room. She shared about Rahab the prostitute and how God used her to be part of the lineage of Jesus. After her talk, Sandy and I went up to introduce ourselves and tell her about our ministry to prostitutes and women in jail due to addictions and bad behavior. She too, was excited and prayed for us and the ministry. So much has been about War Room. I’m pretty sure we will be meeting the Kendrick brothers before the year is over. They will want to pray for us as well. Our state Women’s Ministry Director, Janie Wise, overheard our conversation with Karen. She wanted to know about the ministry and do what she could to help us.

God continues to put people who can pray for us in our path. We met Dr. Brook Bello at the NCCA Conference October 2017. Debbie and Brook have kept up with each other through texts and Facebook. Brook called Monday, February 5, for a prayer time. She had specific prayer requests for her ministry, and we had specific prayer requests for ours. We agreed with each other in prayer. It was a sweet, sweet time.

Pastors and lay leaders from denominational and nondenominational churches have prayed in the house, for the ministry and for the women who will be living there. They have promised to go back to their churches and ask for financial support. We need the financial support, but more importantly, we need their prayers. Others came on weekends to bring donations and work on pending projects. God supplies our needs through money, volunteers, donations of goods and services, causing things to happen and preventing bad things from happening. We accept them all as gifts from Jehovah Jireh.

As I said before, we signed the lease February 1, and the actual work on the house began. Debbie’s daughter-in-law, Angie Wilson, stepped in to help. Angie has been at the house early in the morning until late afternoon, when she goes home to take care of her own household. She sticks by Debbie as Ruth did Naomi. Angie helped paint the Leslie Wilson Room in memory of Debbie’s daughter, and then she has painted all the other rooms that had not been painted. Debbie and Angie are a painting machine. Debbie cleans and primes; Angie paints, and when a Melancholy paints, it’s perfect.

As people sponsor rooms in memory of loved ones, their healing process continues. This community is broken because of pre-mature deaths of too many young adults. Some suffered addictions and overcame them; some were overcome by them. As family members and friends sponsor rooms for their loved ones, and as they see the lives of these broken women healed of their addictions and destructive lifestyles, they will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, God is in heaven and He cares for each one of us, most especially those who the devil is so dead set on destroying.

Please pray for us. Pray that God will anoint us with every ministry gift. Pray that God will give us strength for body, soul, and spirit to reclaim and restore lives the devil has stolen for himself. He cannot have them. Pray that God will continue to send willing workers. Pray for longevity of the ministry that will stop recidivism in our prison system.

Pray that the women we touch with our words and deeds will come to have a true relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Pray that their lives will be restored. Pray that they will see themselves as God’s treasures. Pray that they will understand God’s unique plan for them and be able to implement it. Pray for programs and curricula that will teach in a way that is easy to learn and apply.

Pray that we would always humble ourselves before Almighty God, and give Him glory, honor, and praise for allowing us to be a small part of His mighty work.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

“Everyone whose heart stirred him and everyone whose spirit moved him came and brought the Lord’s contribution for the work of the tent meeting and for all its service and for the holy garments.” Exodus 35:21

“Then I will rebuke the devourer for you so that it will not destroy the fruits of your ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes,” says the Lord of hosts. Malachi 3:11

“The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

“This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Pray that we will be bold to claim and implement all of God’s precious promises for His priceless treasures.

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IR Spotlight

 SARASOTA ACADEMY
INTERNATIONAL
REPRESENTATIVE
SPOTLIGHT

 

Dr. Donald J. Ibbitson


How Temperament Analysis Helps Us Equip Clients for Spiritual Warfare

 

Paul tells us in Ephesians that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil. He is talking about demons in our earthly realm as well as those in the second heaven.

Can the Arno Profile System, which pinpoints a person’s inborn temperament with associated strengths and weaknesses, help a Christian counselor equip clients more fully for personal spiritual warfare?

The answer is “Yes!” and I want to share how we do this.

Above & Beyond Christian Counseling engages in traditional individual, couples and family counseling and we employ conventional counseling tools and approaches.

However, over half of our clients find us because of our focus on deliverance ministry, setting the captives free from demonic strongholds that most standard counseling techniques do not address. This service is hard to find in the Body of Christ; more than half of those we help are located in other states and countries around the world.

Praise the Lord for excellent web conferencing technology!

For those clients who complete the five-step process, we strongly encourage them to continue and learn about their unique, God-given temperament. We explain how it helps prepare them for the unclean spirits return to the house (Matt 12:43-45).

The battlefield is the mind, and our counselors adapt the findings in each profile to equip them to discern and resist the devils.

We begin by emphasizing that when the spirits return they will:• Put thoughts in their mind• Stir up past memories in their soul memory• Work through others (actions and words) to initiate thoughts and memories• Instigate life situations to get us to revert to the old stinking thinking.

The battlefield is the mind, as we are well aware. Taking thoughts captive quickly and discerning the (likely) spirit behind it is crucial to successful warfare.

There are not demons behind every problem, and we are careful to clarify that with our clients. Each person has a free will and must take responsibility for their actions and behaviors. While we see deliverance ministry as a powerful tool in our arsenal, we are adamant that it is not a quick fix nor “magic bullet.”

Each person has a responsibility to walk deliverance out and act upon biblical counsel as they move forward in their walk with the Lord.

We emphasize the importance of gaining control of one’s thought life and how thoughts can originate from a variety of sources, including demon spirits. Paul urges us to remember that our struggle is against powers of darkness so we must know their tactics. They are fine-tuned depending upon their target’s temperament.

When we understand a client’s background and presenting issues, we can coach them to prepare for a specific scenario they are likely to encounter when the spirits return. The process (not the recipe) generally goes as follows. They are to:

• Capture the thought/memory
• Identify the emotion that the thought generates
• Discern the likely spirit that is tormenting
• Command it to leave, and
• Speak the Rhema word over the situation to build up their faith

Sample Warfare Tactics by Temperament Type

Here are some examples for each temperament:

Melancholy
They have active minds that do not shut off, and there is a tendency to relive the past. If the memory of an abusive parent’s actions keeps coming back, we encourage the Melancholy to analyze the thought, discern the emotion it is stirring (say, rejection) and respond out loud in a manner as follows:

“I have forgiven and released judgments against my father/mother. You spirit of rejection you get out of here and leave me alone, in Jesus’ name. I am a daughter/son of the King, and You will never leave me nor forsake me”.

Supine
Guilt over past failures and sins is often an issue for Supines. Demons are masters at stirring up past memories so the client must be ready to deal with this everyday tactic. We encourage the supine to declare something like this:

“Yes, I did that, but my Father has forgiven me, cleansed me of my sins and remembers them no more. You spirit of guilt and shame, you get out of here and leave me alone in Jesus name. There is no condemnation for those found in Christ, and I am found in Him.”

Sanguine
If a lover has rejected them and they have sought comfort in the wrong places, they will be tempted to seek out that love again. We encourage the Sanguine to adopt this type of approach:

“Yes, Joe did abandon and reject me, but I have forgiven him and released all judgments. I am a daughter of the King, and He has a godly husband for me. You spirit of self-pity (or whatever else they discern), you get out of here and leave me alone in Jesus name. Thank you, Father, that you will meet all of my needs out of your glorious riches. You will be my husband, Jesus until the chosen one comes into my life.”

Choleric
Cholerics have little grace for dealing with the emotions or weaknesses of others. They can learn how to move in that area (“fake it until you make it”) but it begins with consciously discerning the tendency to dismiss or move on when the situation arises.  We encourage the Choleric to declare:

“Lord help me to see Hank as you do. Thank you that I have your heart for him Lord and I will respond to Him as you would. You spirit of impatience, you get out of here and leave me alone. Thank you, Lord, that you have taken out my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh.”

Phlegmatic
Stubbornness and passiveness associated with Phlegmatics make them ideal targets if a spirit of stubbornness seeks to return to the house. They are actively motivated to cope and do as little as possible. When they discern that, we suggest the Phlegmatic to counter as follows:

“Thank you, Lord, for setting me free. I am yielded to the Lordship of Jesus in my life, and I recognize that I am under the authority in this office. Mary is my supervisor, and I purpose to clean up my office (or whatever) as she has asked me to do. You spirit of stubbornness, you get out of here and leave me alone in Jesus name. Lord, I obey this directive as unto You.”

Once again, these represent small samples of the process we employ. They are not formulas to follow blindly. We can tailor specific counsel to the client because we know their life history and the demonic strongholds that have been tormenting them.

I hope you have found this article helpful. I will be blessed if you are motivated to learn more about how to include spiritual warfare in your therapy. Deliverance can help set the captives free, but they need help in this area in addition to counseling. We have seen that the saints heal and mature more quickly when they are equipped to discern and resist the demonic realm.

 

 

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Temperament Corner

                                 

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

                                WHAT IS LOVE?—PHLEGMATIC IN AFFECTION

How many times have you, as a counselor, been asked?

“WHAT IS LOVE?”

Your first response could be to tell them “GOD IS LOVE” (I John 4:16) and direct them to read John 3:16: “For God so loved the world….” (See also I John 4:8-10.)

Your second response could even be to direct them to I CORINTHIANS 13: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love.…”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY?”

Your response could be to tell them that they need to love them with God’s love and direct them to read I John 4:12b: “…If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

How many times, as a counselor, have you been asked?

“HOW CAN I LOVE MY DEEP RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD’S LOVE?”

Your responses could be to explain to them that after giving their heart to Jesus, His perfect love will flow through them. The only way they can truly love their deep relationships is by stepping aside and allowing Him to love their deep relationships through Him.

Now it is no longer their imperfect love that is loving their deep relationships; it is His perfect love flowing through them.

Dr. Douglas A. Wheeler points out in his book Betrothed: “We need to learn to accept God’s love.” He wrote: “The love of God has nothing to do with you and all to do with Him. You cannot earn the love of God, because it was there for you from the foundation of the world.”

Your counselees need to learn to rest in God’s love and not strive to meet their own needs for love and affection because God will supply their needs. In so doing, they will be able to meet the needs of their deep relationships.

Nehemiah 8:10 tells us, “…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Putting Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself = JOY!

Psalm 139:14 tells us that God is our Creator: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

As you know, we are triune beings made up of BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT.

Our BODY is our physical makeup.

Our SOUL encompasses our mind, will and emotions. In temperament we call
these areas of the SOUL: Inclusion, Control and Affection.

Mary said in Luke 1:46-47: “My SOUL doth magnify the Lord, and
my SPIRIT hath rejoiced in God my Savior.”

Our SPIRIT is our only connecting link with God.

John 4:24 tells us: “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must
worship him in spirit and in truth.”

Since our Spirit is our only connecting link with our Lord, how can we help our counselees make that connection?

By teaching them that they need to have their Body, Soul and Spirit in balance.

Each area of the Soul (Inclusion, Control, Affection) is trying to meet its needs—either in godly or ungodly ways.

Once we help our counselees learn how to bring balance to their Soul area, then the Spirit can take its rightful place.

We are going to look at ways we can help our counselees line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

In review, Affection is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory connection with deep relationships for love and affection.

The needs within the temperament range from expressing love and affection to all deep relationships to expressing love and affection to only a select few.

They also vary from wanting love and affection from all deep relationships to wanting love and affection from only a select few.

Affection is the need:

1. To express and receive love and approval.
2. For deep personal relationships.

Affection determines:

1. How many of our emotions we share.
2. How emotionally guarded or emotionally open we are.

Affection is unique because:

1. The temperament needs of Affection cannot be genuinely met without a deep,
emotionally close relationship with our Lord.
2. It determines how intimate we are with the extremely close people in
our lives, and it also determines the depth of our feelings.

Each person tends to see the Lord from their temperament perspective. Their individual temperament affects their interaction with the Lord.

They will tend to express love and affection to the Lord in the same manner as they express love and affection to their deep relationships.

If they resist opening up and establishing deep, intimate relationships with others, they may also resist a deep, intimate relationship with the Lord.

Jesus Christ is the Living Word, and when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, He reveals the Written Word (The Holy Bible) to us.

All He wants in return is for us to ask Him into our heart and to love Him with all our heart.

In other words, the temperament need of Affection cannot be fully met without a deep, emotionally close relationship with our Lord.

In this issue we are going to look at some of the Phlegmatic in Affection tendencies and what they need to do in order to line up their Affection area with the Word of God.

PHLEGMATICS IN AFFECTION TEND TO:

1. Have low energy and can be overly protective of this low energy.

2. Be an observer of their deep relationships because of fear of draining their low energy.

3. Use their dry sense of humor as a means of keeping their deep relationships from exhausting their low energy.

4. Prefer their deep, personal relationships express a minimal amount of touch, hugging and kissing.

5. Reject expressions of love and affection if it is not expressed in a manner with which
they feel comfortable.

6. Be emotionally guarded and can appear selfish and uncaring to their deep relationships.

7. Be perfectionistic and critical of their deep relationships.

8. Frustrate and irritate their deep relationships when using their dry sense of humor because they do not know if they are serious or joking.

PHLEGMATICS IN AFFECTION NEED TO:

1. Learn to be less protective of their low energy and make an effort to stay involved with their deep relationships. See Psalm 18:1: “I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.”

2. Learn to stop being just an observer and become involved. See I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.”

3. Learn that their dry sense of humor can be frustrating and irritating to their deep relationships. See Romans 14:19: “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”

4. Learn to come out of their comfort zone and be willing to accept the touches, hugs, and kisses from their deep relationships. See II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

5. Learn to accept rather than reject expressions of love and affection from their deep relationships. See I Peter 1:22: “Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently.”

6. Learn to take off their “mask” that makes them appear selfish and uncaring. See Romans 12:9: “Let love be without dissimulation (concealing true nature)….”

7. Learn to see their deep relationships with the “Eyes of Christ” and accept them as God created them. See I John 4:12: “No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

8. Learn to choose their words carefully when they are making humorous remarks trying to protect their energy as they can be, at times, cutting or hurtful. See Proverbs 15:23: “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” See also Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatic in Affection, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at What is Love?—Sanguine in Affection.

 

Book Review

Jesus Always: Embracing Joy in His Presence

By: Sarah Young

 

Slow down for a moment and hear the call to joy. Jesus longs for you to rest in His presence.

The difficulties of life can often sap the joy out of our hearts, but Jesus longs for us to know His contentment regardless of our circumstances. Jesus Always, a new 365 day devotional by Sarah Young, focuses on joy, a sometimes overlooked fruit of the Spirit, to give readers hope and assurance in the familiar voice they’ve come to love. Each day’s reading offers Scripture references for further reading and encouragement. Features a padded hardcover binding, a presentation page, and a ribbon bookmark, perfect for gift-giving.

For more information, please click here.

Home | IR Spotlight | Temperament Corner | Book Review

 

Book Review

Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health

By: Dr. Caroline Leaf

 

Did you know that fear triggers a cascade of chemicals that can harm our immune system? Discover how to control toxic thoughts that impact your health and wellness! Drawing on the latest scientific and medical research, Leaf helps you find freedom from negative effects of biology, correct your thinking patterns, and live a more positive life.

For more information, please click here.

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Temperament Corner

JESUS!  THE GREATEST GIFT

The greatest gift of all is from our Heavenly Father. He gave us His Son, Jesus Christ, to come into this world to live and die so that we might live with Him eternally!

                     “For God so loved the world,

                             that he gave his only begotten Son,

                                    that whosoever believeth in him

                                           should not perish,

                                                  but have everlasting life.”  John 3:16

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

I so love celebrating Christmas!  I love to sing the Christmas hymns and be with the family. It is also fun to reminisce about the wonderful and sometimes hectic times we had with our family on Christmas Eve.

At Christmastime the air is full of excitement!  I believe the excitement is still here from when the angels came to the shepherds so long ago.

Luke 2: 8-10 tells us:

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord.”

Can you imagine the electricity and excitement in the air when the angels of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them? It was probably a quiet night; then, all of a sudden Heaven lit up and God’s angels were singing, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” (Luke 2:14)  The Scriptures say the shepherds were sore afraid, but they must have also felt the excitement.

Luke 2:15 tells us:

“And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.”

Luke 2:20 tells us:

“And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.”

Matthew 2: 1-2 tells us:

“Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.”

Matthew 2:11 tells us:

“And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts.”

Gold – Precious metal.  It could have financed Joseph’s and Mary’s trip to Egypt.            

Frankincense Highly fragrant when burned and was used in worship, where it burned as a pleasant offering to God (Exodus 30:34).

Myrrh —Spice that was used in embalming.  Myrrh symbolizes bitterness, suffering and affliction.

We, too, can bring Him our gifts. What can we give him? Our hearts! We do this by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior!

Let’s review some of the ways giving their heart to Jesus will affect the five temperaments.

When the Choleric gives their heart to Jesus, they will:

1.  Desire to submit to God’s will for their life.

2.  Trust God to guide their steps.

3.  Become the leaders God created them to be.

4.  Look to God, not man, for their recognition and approval.

5.  Be able to love their deep relationships in ways that are not controlling and demanding.   

When the Melancholy gives their heart to Jesus, they will:

1.  Desire to submit to God’s will for their life.

2.  Learn to trust God, and become more trusting of people.

3.  Become less fearful of the unknown, less rigid and inflexible, and less sensitive to failure.

4.  Be more forgiving of those that have wronged them.

5.  Be able to express love and affection to their deep relationships without the fear of rejection.

When the Phlegmatic gives their heart to Jesus, they will:

1.  Desire to submit to God’s will for their life.

2.  Become more flexible with people and more involved in life rather than just be an observer.

3.  Trust God to direct their steps as they know He will not give them more than what their low energy can handle.

4.   Be less prone to express their humor in a hurtful manner.

5.  Be more willing to express love and affection to their deep relationships rather than always trying to preserve their energy.

When the Sanguine gives their heart to Jesus, they will:

1.  Desire to submit to God’s will for their life.

2.  Know that He will never leave or forsake them.

3.  Consider Him their best friend, and trust Him to direct their steps.

4.  Be less likely to follow the wrong crowd because they will be less fearful of rejection.

5.  Be less likely to make ungodly demands on their deep relationships.

When the Supine gives their heart to Jesus, they will:

1.  Desire to submit to God’s will for their life.

2.  Not feel rejected because they know that God is always with them and they are never alone.

3. Trust Him to help them with their decisions rather than always relying on family and friends.

4.  Learn to maintain balance in their life by seeking God’s guidance when they take on responsibilities.

5.  Be able to express Godly love to those around them rather than sitting back waiting for others to express first.

Psalm 23: 3 tells us that He restores our soul and leads us in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

In order for Him to restore our soul, we need to submit our hearts to God.

When we submit our heart to Jesus, He gives us a new, clean heart.  Old things have passed away, and we will then desire to do His will and please Him with all that we say and do. See Ezekiel 36:26.

In order to do our part, we need to:
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

May this Christmas season be a time of expressing God’s abiding love to those around you, and may you be filled with His inexplicable JOY!

                                                   J ESUS

                                                  O THERS

                                                  Y OU!