Temperament Corner


Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value. He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

PearlQuestion: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “For a pearl to have great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Choleric in Inclusion to see what may be irritating and causing them pain and stress in this area:

Inability to fulfill their temperament need for controlling social relationships because, as leaders in the Inclusion area, they tend not to want others to reject their leadership decisions. This can cause them stress because of their need to receive recognition and approval for their accomplishments, not rejection. They need to look to the Lord for His recognition and approval; He will never reject them.

See Galatians 1:10: (KJV) “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” “Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.” Isaiah 26:3)

  1. Need for perfection from themselves and others. This can cause them stress because of their high goals or expectations. At times, they may feel that their needs for perfection cannot be met because of the imperfection of others, and they can become intolerant, impatient, angry and frustrated. They need to learn to allow themselves, as well as others, to be imperfect, for only God is perfect. They must also learn to forgive and stop being angry at themselves for their imperfection as God understands our weaknesses and, as we submit them to Him, He will do the perfecting.

    See Zechariah 4:6b: (KJV) “…Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”

  2. Inability to say “no” when asked to take on multiple leadership positions in this area. This can cause them stress, irritability and eventually even burnout because they may overload and spread themselves too thin. They need to learn to seek God’s will and let Him direct their steps in order to alleviate their stress.

    See Isaiah 58:1la (KJV) “And the Lord shall guide thee continually….”Also see Proverbs 3:5-6.)

  3. The uncertainty of who they really are at any given time. This will cause them stress because they can wear so many different “masks,” (whatever it takes to accomplish their goals) that, at times, they are uncertain which mask they are wearing. Since they are not sure of who they really are at times, the may feel like imposters and may fear others will think they are imposters too. They need to learn that God always knows who they are and, when they are “riding” that emotional roller coaster, God will smooth things out for them—if they ask Him to.

See Psalm 13:1-2: (KJV) “O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Choleric in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue, we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Melancholy in Inclusion.

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