Book Review

By: Bob Hostetler

Every human heart longs to love and be loved. And every heart is unfulfilled until it falls in love with God.

Why does anyone want to “fall in love?” With anyone? Perhaps it is because we instinctively recognize that love is the most pleasurable of all human sensations. Love makes us feel good. It satisfies our deepest needs. And if falling in love with another human being can do all of those things . . . how much more powerful could it be to fall in love with God?

Falling in Love With God answers that question. Drawing from the ancient love story of Hosea, a prophet whose life and prophecy map how to fall in love with God, this book will fulfill the desires of all who long for a different–or deeper–relationship with God. This thoroughly biblical book will help and bless readers who long to love God with all their hearts. . . but just aren’t sure why they don’t, if they could, or how it happens.

For more information, please click here.

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Temperament Corner

A Pearl of Great Value – Supine in Inclusion

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value.  He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

Question: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “In order to have a pearl of great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and/or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Supine in Inclusion to see what may be irritating them and causing them stress in the Inclusion area:

1. Fear of Social Rejection:

Supines in Inclusion want and need to interact with people; however, they tend to perceive rejection and will stand back and wait for a personal invitation rather than initiate. If they do not receive a personal invitation, they may isolate themselves and withdraw from people. This, in turn, will cause them stress as they need to interact with people.

Physically: Because of their perceived fear of rejection, they may suffer from high blood pressure, stomach problems, headaches, ulcers, etc. Emotionally: Because of their perceived fear of rejection and feelings of having no value, they may find themselves on a roller-coaster ride full of self-pity and self-rejection. They tend to cry a lot because they are thinking that people do not like them. As a result, they want to run away from other people and themselves; however, as we all know, we cannot run away from ourselves.

Spiritually: Because of their perceived fear of rejection, they may even fear that God will reject them, too. They may even think thoughts such as, “If people are going to reject me, God probably will, too.”

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. That God created them and accepts them just as they are and that it is all right to initiate. If they learn to initiate, it will alleviate many of their physical problems.
  2. That it is all right to have a good cry because crying helps them to relieve their stress. After a good cry, they can then take a deep breath and move forward.
  3. That God is always with them, so they are never alone. They need to take time to talk with God (and listen to Him), read the Holy Scriptures, surround themselves with songs of praise and worship, and find a church where they can fellowship with God’s people.

See Isaiah 41:13: “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” See also Hebrews 13:5: “…I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

2.   Inability to say “no”

Supines in Inclusion tend to be unable to just say “no.” They want to say “no,” but they are afraid that the people around them will be displeased or upset with them. This, in turn, will tend to cause them stress.

Physically: Because of their inability to say “no,” they can become physically drained and unable to complete their commitments. Yet they will still take on more responsibility than they can possibly handle. This, in turn, will tend to cause them to be stressed to the “hilt.” All because they cannot say “no.”

Emotionally: Because of their inability to say “no,” they can become stressed (emotionally drained) when they are overloaded with responsibilities. They will then become easily irritated with people. They may have a difficult time sleeping because they cannot stop thinking about everything they must do. The Supine in Inclusion needs to socialize with people and also needs to do tasks.

Spiritually: Because of their inability to say “no,” they can become so overwhelmed with tasks and obligations that they do not have any time to spend with God. When they do pray, they tend to have a long list of complaints about how people are overloading them.

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To say, “No, I cannot take on any new responsibilities until I pray about it.” By doing this, they will no longer be as stressed and drained and will be able to follow through on their commitments.
  2. That when they say “no,” they will not be as emotionally drained and will not be as irritated with people. They need to be with people as well as do tasks. Learning to say “no” can help them to maintain balance between doing tasks and being with people.
  3. That God gave them a servant’s heart and a gentle spirit, but He did not call them to be a doormat.

See Acts 5:29: “…We ought to obey God rather than men.” See also Colossians 3:23-24: “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”

3. Fear of expressing their needs

A great deal of stress can occur when the needs of the Supine in Inclusion go unmet because of their fear of expressing their needs.
Physically: Because of their fear of expressing their needs, they tend to withdraw physically from people. They tend to become angry because they expect people to know what their needs are and, as we all know, it is not realistic to expect people to read their minds. They will then tend to say, “My feelings are hurt,” rather than say, “I am angry,” when others do not meet their needs. They believe that it is much easier for them to say, “My feelings are hurt.” The bottom line is that their “hurt feelings” are actually their internalized anger.

Emotionally: Supines in Inclusion tend to “bury” their needs deep inside of them. After a period of time, these unmet needs will begin to stack up, and when the Supine in Inclusion can’t handle anymore, their anger will come spewing out. When this happens, they no longer want to serve others as they feel unappreciated for what they do for others. Supines in Inclusion tend to feel that if they must express their needs, others will comply out of duty or responsibility, and they will never know if the others genuinely wanted to help them.

Spiritually: Supines in Inclusion may withdraw from God because they believe that no one, including God, feels that they have any value. They can then lose their “gentle” spirit because they have pulled away from the Spirit of God.

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To admit that their “hurt feelings” are actually their internalized anger and must be dealt with. After they admit that it is anger, they can then forgive the person who angered them. Once they forgive those who “hurt their feelings” (made them angry), they will no longer have stress in this area. They must remember that their body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and they must learn to maintain this body in order to fulfill the call God has on their life.
  2. That others cannot read their mind and that when they do not express their needs, they are sending messages that they have no needs. This is called indirect behaviors, and if these needs go unmet, they will begin to fester and cause emotional stress.
  3. That fear does not come from the Lord and that they must learn to express their needs more directly. They need to draw closer to the Lord and trust Him so that they do not lose their “gentle” spirit and servant’s heart.

See I Chronicles 16:11: “Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.”

See also I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Supine in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

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IR Spotlight

Apostle Brenda Ward

Creation Therapy & Mental Health
“ And The Church… The Truth”

Pastor Brenda Ward of Cobbs Creek, VA, is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since April 13, 2018. She is also a member of the NCCA.

As an International Representative, I have been able to use Creation Therapy to help individuals discover their inborn part of themselves and reach their God given potential. The remarkable results of using APS and Creation Therapy together has helped individuals determine why they react to situations, things and people the way they do. In addition, it helps them cope with major mental health challenges, stress, unforgiveness, painful situations, and low self-esteem. As a Certified Temperament Counselor, Licensed Pastoral Counselor and a License Qualified Mental Health Professional, introducing Creation Therapy with the assistance of an APS assessment to those with mental health challenges has proven to bring about a remarkable change in their lives. Many have discovered that they don’t have to accept living in Lo Debar, because God has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness. Lo Debar represents a state of mind and/or a physical place where an individual is in constant fear, depression and worrying. They are feeling unloved, forgotten, unsuccessful, unappreciated, lonely, unwanted and trapped with no way out, just to name a few. Lo Debar, in today’s terms, signifies a belief system that is contrary to the Word of God which leads to a state of despair without hope and strongholds.

When individuals discover their God given temperament through Creation Therapy it leads them to the confidence they need to discover and identify the hidden behavioral problems within their lives. Creation Therapy is a great tool in addressing a wide range of clinical and behavioral issues, that are negatively impacting individuals’ daily lives, such as anger, depression, anxiety, PTSD, including dysfunctional and functional issues. As a Christian Counselor I have used, and continue to use, this tool to assist individuals in achieving their short and long-term goals for both spiritual and emotional well-being.

As a Pastor, I strongly recommend that other Pastors introduce Creation Therapy to their church. I witnessed a CEO of a major mental health agency require that their new hires take the APS as part of their hiring package. Clients have voiced that Creation Therapy and APS assessments work when other counseling techniques fail.

As I mentioned earlier Lo Debar is a belief system, and this belief system is no respecter of persons. People of all walks of life have entered into this place of despair: Preachers, Christians, Politicians, and Teachers. This is why I feel so strongly about introducing Creation Therapy to the Body of Christ and the importance of the magnitude of mental illness is staggering as it affects us regardless of age, gender, economic status or ethnicity. Mental illness has not missed the church. The body, regardless of our denomination, is not immune to mental health disorders and illnesses. One in four church members sitting in the church pews, on the usher board, in the Sunday School and children’s church, on the deacon and mothers board, including our leader will face a challenge with mental illness for either themselves or within their family. In contrast, unfortunately, most of our religious communities still to this day remain silent when it comes to the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of mental disorders as an illness that is treatable beyond that of faith and seclusion.  Many in the household of faith continue to struggle and are suffering in silence. We are attempting to carry the fear, the shame, and the rejection while portraying a stigma that we have it all together. We have a perception that disclosing the truth will have a negative impact on our families and our ministries. “Untreated and un-counseled” mental illness has resulted in a decline of church attendance as many are walking away from their callings and purpose ultimately committing suicide and prematurely ending their lives.

As the salt of the Earth and Kingdom representatives, we are to be the ones speaking up in our faith communities regarding mental health concerns. In the darkest hours of our closest loved ones and neighbors our knowledge, support, and advocacy matters. Faith leaders that are open about their own journeys of mental health have made a huge impact with removing the “stigma and isolation” that can hinder mental health awareness, self-growth, and restoration. It is imperative that we impart the understanding that we are not alone and are still worthy of love and non-judgmental support.

Stigma is defined as a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance. Stigma is the extra weight of what others feel, see, or view in me as placed on top of my actual reality. Stigma is powerful and pervasive and is encountered immensely by individuals with mental illness.  Stigma is known to contribute to causing disruption in the closest of family relationships. Stigma aides in the lowering of one’s self-esteem and adversely affecting our ability to socialize, grow, and maintain the most basic elements of life.

Many Christians are not encouraged to seek counseling, but instead, they are encouraged to pray harder and “have more faith.” As the Body of Christ, we have much work to do to address the crisis associated with mental illness, and it will not all be done Sunday morning at the altar. Unfortunately, very few ministries incorporate adequate information concerning the ministry of mental health into their core curriculum. Individuals with mental health challenges have shown to prefer to go to their spiritual leader for help, comfort, and support. The clergy has been the least effective in being prepared to provide appropriate support and referral information leaving our sheep to fend for themselves unknowingly.  We need to make the shift away from stigmatizing mental health as a moral failing and provide resources that support and sustain those with mental health issues and their families.

Let me be very clear, I do believe in miracles. I do believe in deliverance. I do believe in signs and wonders. I also know that we perish for lack of knowledge and in all things, we are to get understanding. It is not the Father’s will that we suffer. Isaiah 53:5 states that the chastisement of our peace was upon him. We are entitled to mental health, and it is, in fact, a faith move; however, faith without works is dead. We must be prepared to provide tangible support to the Earth realm. We cannot afford to continue to lose lives based on holding on to a perception which is a stigma when God has provided the tools and resources to better ourselves. 3 John 2 says: Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health (physically) and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well (spiritually) NIV.

May Grace be with you!

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Temperament Corner

A Pearl of Great Value – Sanguine in Inclusion

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value.  He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

Pearl

Question: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “In order to have a pearl of great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and/or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Sanguine in Inclusion to see what may be irritating them and causing them stress in the Inclusion area:

1. Isolation from People:

Sanguines in Inclusion thrive on being with people as people energize them. They tend to be outgoing, upbeat, optimistic and inspiring; however, being alone can be very stressful for them. When they are alone, they will tend to swing in a downward spiral and become moody, stressed and depressed.

Physically: If they are isolated from people, Sanguines in Inclusion may tend to compensate for the stress of being alone by binge-eating, excessive drinking, gambling, using drugs, etc. They may even neglect their personal hygiene, e.g., not bathing, wearing the same clothes for days without changing, etc.

Emotionally: If they are isolated from people, Sanguines in Inclusion may become moody and stressed. This will tend to cause them to swing from being upbeat and happy to downbeat and sad. They will tend to have a “pity party” and pout. What usually brings them out of this swing is to get out and be with people again. Usually, no matter how hard you try to make them happy, they can be so “down” that they will tend to pull others down by just being around them. They will swing upward when they come to the point that they cannot stand to be alone with themselves.

Spiritually: If they are isolated from people, Sanguines in Inclusion may be so stressed that they do not want to pray and spend time with God. They tend to just want to sit around and “pout.” And if they pray to God, they tend to do all the talking rather than listening.

Therefore, they need to learn:

1. To seek employment where they can interact with people. They also need to learn to bring into balance their socializing and their responsibilities.

2. To reward themselves after they complete their responsibilities, since they are reward oriented.

3. That God is always with them, so they are never alone. They need to take time to talk with God (and listen to Him), read their Holy Scriptures, surround themselves with songs of praise and worship, and find a church where they can fellowship with God’s people.


See James 4:8: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”

2.   Social Rejection:

For Sanguines in Inclusion, social rejection is usually so stressful to them that they will conform to the behavior of others in order to not be rejected.

Physically: Sanguines in Inclusion may attempt to compensate for the stress of rejection by turning to drugs, alcohol, gambling, drinking and running with the wrong crowd. When they do this, their health usually suffers as they do not eat properly and neglect their personal hygiene.

Emotionally: Sanguines in Inclusion tend to want to be the center of attention. They may try to get this attention by becoming loud and boisterous, then, if they do not receive the attention they need, they tend to “swing” from being upbeat and happy to downbeat and sad. They will tend to “mope” around and have a pity party (pout). They will not swing back to being upbeat until they are accepted by people again.

Spiritually: Sanguines in Inclusion tend to say and do things that are not pleasing to God in order to keep from being rejected; therefore, they may pull away from God as they may think He will also reject them because of their behavior.

Therefore, they need to learn:

1. That trying to please people in ungodly ways will not alleviate their stress from social rejection; it can only bring on more stress as they tend to neglect their health by not eating correctly, drinking, etc., and by not taking care of their personal hygiene.

2. Not to always try to dominate the conversation and be the center of attention but rather allow others to talk. When they are more considerate of the needs of others, they will find that they have fewer feelings of rejection, and their downward mood swings will become minimal.

3. That God created them and He is always with them. When they say and do things that are not pleasing to God in order to keep from being rejected, they need to learn to ask for His forgiveness and draw closer to Him rather than pull farther away.


See Hebrews 13:5: “…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

3.  Tasks:

For Sanguines in Inclusion, being required to do tasks all day will cause them stress. Sanguines in Inclusion need to be able to communicate with people; tasking all day is unthinkable to the Sanguine. They just cannot concentrate on a task for long periods of time; their mind will trail off, and they may daydream—dreaming that they are with people. If they must task all day, they need to be able to have “people” breaks in order to alleviate their stress.

Physically: Sanguines in Inclusion may arrive late for work because they know that it is going to be a long, dull day. They will not care what they look like; they may look like they just “rolled” out of bed, e.g., unshaven, needing a haircut and wearing wrinkled clothes. In other words, personal hygiene is last on their “to do” list.

Emotionally: Sanguines in Inclusion may become moody and stressed if they are required to do tasks without being able to interact with people. Their work will tend to suffer; it can become sloppy and haphazard, and they may make blatant errors and not follow through on their obligations all because of stress created by not being able to interact with people. This stress will throw them into their downward swing mode. They will no longer be upbeat and happy.

Spiritually: Sanguines in Inclusion may be so stressed that they do not want to pray and spend time with God. They tend to feel all alone, like they are the only ones on the planet. They will tell you that they need a “real” person with skin on to talk to, and that when they pray, they still feel the need to talk with people.

Therefore, they need to learn:

1. That if they are isolated from people to find godly ways to meet their need for socializing, e.g., going to church, Bible studies, joining adult/youth groups, joining exercise groups, etc.

2. To put God first and seek Him when they are lonely because He created them and He is with them always. He is just a prayer away. By doing this, it will lessen their fear of rejection.

3. That tasks will stress them. When seeking employment, they need to find a job where they can interact with people as well as doing tasks. At the very least, they should try to seek employment where they can play music in order for them to “feel” that they are around people.


See Psalm 18:6: “In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Sanguine in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Supine in Inclusion.

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IR Spotlight

Nancy Fujii of Wilton, CT is a Certified Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since January 28, 2019. She is also a Certified Temperament Christian Counselor and member of the NCCA.

Nancy Fujii is Founder and Executive Director of The Family Peace Center in Wilton, CT. The Family Peace Center is a Christian non-profit that helps families build healthy relationships through a children’s ministry, Christian counseling ministry and L.I.G.H.T. (Living in God’s Holy Truth) development program ministry.

After a 30-year career in corporate administration and project management in Chicago, Los Angeles, Manhattan and Brussels, Nancy became a mother. Following the birth of her daughter, she made a life-changing decision to follow Jesus, and after resolving her own past experiences through the lessons of grace, dedicated her life to spreading God’s love to heal, strengthen and transform other lives by planting seeds of hope in broken hearts.

Nancy has taught in eight different Christian children’s ministries. In 2013, while attending Saddleback Church in Southern California, she became a Certified Christian Church Counselor where she served in Saddleback’s Counseling Ministry.  

In 2017, she became a Certified Temperament Christian Counselor through the National Christian Counselor Association. In 2019 Nancy became a Minister of Pastoral Care. Nancy is currently continuing her education through the NCCA with an emphasis on child and adolescent Christian counseling.

In October 2018, the Family Peace Center opened its doors in Wilton, CT. One of the ministries focuses on teaching people how to live in God’s holy truth. This month, the Family Peace Center began offering classes as an International Representative through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counselors where Created in God’s Image, Creation Therapy and Creation Therapy Spanish courses are offered.

Nancy strives to be faithful with the stewardship that God has entrusted her with to be the voice of truth to reach, rescue and restore lost souls to Jesus. She wants to counsel and comfort those whose homes and hearts are broken.

Nancy is grateful for the opportunity to be an IR and to offer this curriculum to help heal the lives of so many who live in relational brokenness. She looks forward to seeing the fruit of how God will transform people through the hard work and dedication that Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno have dedicated their lives to in understanding and developing temperament theory.

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Book Review

By: Melvina D. Edwards, Ph.D.

The Paradoxical Union: Category: Novel ? Fiction (Spiritual Short-Story) with Religion/Inspirational message ? Family & Relationships/Divorce: Manhattan, New York City Borough, primary setting beginning in the 1980s The Paradoxical Union, follows the life of the main character named Paris Hope who powers through multiple trials, tribulations, and challenges growing up then, as a young woman, she enters a relationship seemingly created by heaven, but they were from opposite worlds. Instead, Paris soon learns that she entered into unhealthy and toxic matrimony that leads to a sheer pit of hell. The union gradually augments to an intertwined subtle ploy, extensive abuse, mental cruelty, aggression, and domestic violence. The character Paris has a loving spirit. She is intellectual, ambiguous, classy and has big aspirations and dreams, but; becomes stripped “TO her joy,”-but not stripped of it. After devastating struggles and traumatization fostered by the twisted union, she finds a way “TO” escape finding survival through faith, shaping who she’d become, and accomplishing her dreams. Paris’ intimate partner is a community, national and global figure who is self-exalted, grandiose and breeds narcissism. Dr. Melveena D. Edwards, the author and therapist, is the narrator of this short-story who has the birds-eye-view of all the goings-on from the perspective of Paris. Dr. Edwards is the outsider looking into Paris’ life as she pauses, revisits, and sojourns to impart her experience regarding the severe social epidemic issue of an abusive and violence culture that plagues our society today. Paris shares her “must tell all” story to help and motivate someone. In so telling the story, Dr. Edwards is educational and shares vital facts promoting awareness.

For more information, please click here.

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IR Spotlight

Tihomir and Dimka Tenev of Sliven, Bulgaria are Certified Pastoral Members of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and have been International Representatives since January 18, 2012.

Being in the pastoring ministry for 25 years we have always had a heart for people and have been doing our best to helping them be strong in the Lord and to succeed in life and in their relationships. Though we ourselves have tried to live according to the Biblical principals, we have always been looking for something more to know about ourselves, in order to be able to understand many of the situations through which we had been going through and how we could deal with them more effectively and in the best way!

Creation Therapy supplied us with the necessary knowledge and information, in order to be able to explain what we have never been able to understand before, though all our knowledge on the Bible.

It is already more than 10 years since we are using APS for helping people finding solutions for their difficulties in life.

What we realized was that it is very important and foundational to teach people of the Biblical principals, in order they could have a successful life. But what APS supplies, namely the understanding why you do what you do; the possibility of getting to know yourself and to balance your life – is VERY important and useful thing.

We have been impressed how during the APS sessions people have shared that for first time they feel they have been understood and receiving practical help for their problem, though they are coming from a church whose pastors are our friends and we know they are wonderful people and preachers and teachers!

This is just confirming more and more of the necessity of more knowledge that we receive through studying at NCCA.

The truth is, that most of the people’s situations in life need more that just a good loving heart and knowing the Bible!

During the years we have faced up various fates of people and have been witnessing restoring of many relationships.

Sometimes the effort of someone to be excellent before the Lord, including his temperament needs to be principled would push him to extremes.

We had a case with a family and on the very first meeting they shared they had problems in their sexual relationship. Some of the religious books that the young lady had read have turned her to be a fanatic that was not able to fully enjoy making love with her husband.

After having a few conversations with them and prayed for them and gave them to read some good books and watched a family seminar, we managed to help her to start looking at sex as something she could fully enjoy and pray God to bless. The APS of both of them opened their eyes to get to know each other like never before and learn how they could start giving to each other what they need.

We have seen children of 8 or 9 years old, who are so principled and they insist their parents to be the same, just because it is their personality. It was very useful for the parents to understand this, because they would see a new way to bring their kids up, that would build them up without being hurt or have their spirit crushed.

We have worked with parents who have done their best to teach their children to be independent, without realizing their temperament need to be helped, in order to be able to build up their self-confidence and the feeling that they are competent.

The necessity of counseling in Bulgaria is quite big, though the people still do not realize it. More and more people in our Christian world today share the need they feel of professional help.

The modern technology today is giving us a lot of possibilities to counsel both people who live in Bulgaria and out of Bulgaria, by using Skype, FaceTime or Viber applications.

Also, our son is broadcasting a weekly video-show in which there is a lot of discussion about love, sex, marriage relationship, and family. It is a wonderful possibility to advertise the APS and people are calling us asking for help.

We are also working with non-Christian people and have sewn the love of Christ in their lives. After that some of them have visited our church and we pray so that God would finish the good work He has started in them!

God has also opened a door for us to teach the whole subject of Creation Therapy at one of the Bible Colleges in Bulgaria, where one of the students was Macedonian and he decided to study the Creation Therapy and was certified by SACC and now he has his own counseling ministry in Macedonia, counseling through APS.

Being International Representatives gives us the possibility to sign up students, just like this Macedonian, from different countries to be trained as Christian Counselors through Creation Therapy.

Looking back in everything that has happened through our ministry, we see God’s hand over us! So today it is already more than 10 years we are serving people in the area of counseling through Creation Therapy!

We can say nothing more but that we are serving to a Great and Unique GOD! To Him be all the glory forever and ever – AMEN!!!

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Book Review

By: Kyle Idleman



We’re saturated with a knowledge of grace. But when Jesus walked here on earth, He lived grace, sharing it through countless stories and real-life examples. In Grace Is Greater, Kyle Idleman seeks to do the same–to shake us out of our comfort zone with grace and to again be amazed, shocked, and enthralled as we experience Jesus’ radical way of living and forgiving. By hearing stories of lives transformed, you’ll grasp God’s love in a fresh way and find new freedom and joy in your own life.

For more information, please click here.

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Temperament Corner

A Pearl of Great Value – Phlegmatic

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value.  He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

Question: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “In order to have a pearl of great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and/or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Phlegmatic in Inclusion to see what may be irritating them and causing them stress in the Inclusion area:

1.  Demands made upon them by people at their workplace, school or home:

Phlegmatics in Inclusion can handle a moderate amount of interaction with people.  In the workplace or school, they will tend to respond when spoken to, but will not usually initiate.  This is because they are task-oriented.  By the time they get home from work or school, their energy is usually depleted.

Physically, they may come home from work or school drained of their energy, and just want to relax and watch television or sit at the computer; however,  they may then start to snack on foods that can cause them to become overweight.  If they continue eating the snack foods that are not healthy for them, they may develop heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

Emotionally, constantly interacting with people can cause them to become overwhelmed, angry and stressed. When this happens, they will tend to retaliate by using their defense mechanism–their dry humor. This humor, at times, can be cutting or hurtful to others, depending on the amount of anger and stress that they are experiencing.

Spiritually, if forced to interact with people for long periods of time, they may become so exhausted and stressed that they don’t get involved in church activities or even spend time with the Lord.

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To stay involved with their relationships and learn to maintain balance between being alone and socializing.
  2. To take care of their physical body by eating properly and exercising. Once they start eating properly and exercising, they will find that they have more energy and, in turn, will feel less exhausted.
  3. That during times of physical and emotional stress they need to take time to praise God by song or worship, read the Holy Scriptures and attend church.

See Isaiah 26:3:  “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

2.   Inability to work at their own pace:

Phlegmatics in Inclusion, because of their low energy, are unable to work at a fast pace.   If pushed beyond their endurance, they will tend to use their dry humor, sometimes in a hurtful manner, as a defense mechanism to keep people from pushing them to work at a faster pace.

Physically, they will become exhausted, drained and stressed because they are being pushed to work beyond their endurance.  This can cause them to react to their stress by overeating and becoming non-involved with their friends and family.  This, in turn, can result in their having heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, and problems with their family, etc.

Emotionally, the inability to work at their own pace can cause them to become agitated and stressed.  They may also tend to shut down and become more withdrawn from family and friends. They will also tend to use their dry humor to keep family and friends “off their back.”

Spiritually, if forced to interact with people for long periods of time, they may become so exhausted and stressed that they may pull away from attending church because it would drain them even more. They may tend to put God on “hold.”

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To try to seek employment where they can set their own pace in order to keep from being totally exhausted and stressed at the end of the day.
  2. That if they are not able to secure employment where they can set their own pace, they need to take breaks at work during the morning, at lunchtime, and in the afternoon.  Exercising during their breaks would refresh them and help to alleviate some of their stress.
  3. To daily maintain their relationship with the Lord by taking time to have morning devotions before they leave for work or listen to the Holy Scriptures or Christian music on the way to work.  

See Philippians 4:13:  “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

3.   Striving for perfection:

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to strive for perfection.  They are also task-oriented and slow-paced.  They can do tedious tasks with precision and accuracy; therefore, they tend to expect perfection not only from themselves but from those around them.

Physically, if those around them do not live up to their expectations of perfection, Phlegmatics will tend to become stressed and critical.  They express this criticism by using their dry humor that can be very hurtful at times.  This can cause tension between them and those that are not living up to their need for perfection. Because the Phlegmatic in Inclusion is also a peacemaker and seeks peace,  this tension can cause them physical stress in the form of ulcers, headaches, overeating, etc.

Emotionally, when people do not live up to their expectations of perfection, Phlegmatics can become stressed.   They may tend to shut down and withdraw from the people that are stressing them, as well as their family and friends.  In other words, they may pull away from everyone. They may do this by sleeping a great deal, watching television and/or sitting at their computer.

Spiritually, because they strive for perfection and they cannot attain this perfection, they may tend to be stressed and want to give up on everyone, including God. Their thoughts could be something like: “What’s the use-nobody else cares, why should I care?” They may even feel God does not care.

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To be patient with people and learn that criticizing them is not going to  make them do a better job. They need to remember Proverbs 25:11:  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
  2. To stay moderately involved with their family and friends in order to keep the peace to avoid more stress.
  3. To learn that the Lord is with them every step of the way and that He will give them strength.

See Nehemiah 8:10:  “…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatic in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue, we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Sanguine in Inclusion.

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Temperament Corner

JOY

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Joy, according to Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary means great happiness, delight, and a source of happiness.

Luke 2:8-10 tells us: And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

During the Christmas season I am filled with joy when I listen to the beautiful Christmas hymnJOY TO THE WORLD:

Joy to the world! The Lord is come;
   Let earth receive her King;
      Let every heart prepare Him room,
         And heaven and nature sing,
            And heaven and nature sing.
               And heaven, and Heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the world! The Savior reigns;
   Let men their songs employ;
      While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
         Repeat the sounding joy,
            Repeat the sounding joy,
               Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

When we give our heart to Jesus, we, too, will bear all the fruit of the Spirit.

Ephesians 5:9-10: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

Jeremiah 15:16:Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.

John 15:11:These things have I spoken unto, you that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

Romans 15:13: Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I Peter 1:8: “Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.

I John 1:4: And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.

Nehemiah 8:10: for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Now, since we know that the “joy of the Lord is our strength, let’s look at ways the five temperaments in Inclusion can be JOYFUL this Christmas.

The Choleric:

Since they are leaders and task-oriented, they tend to take on too many responsibilities at Christmas time. When people ask them to organize Christmas events such as pageants, parties, luncheons, dinners, cookie exchanges, preparing food for the homeless, collecting gifts for needy children, etc., they will take on the challenge and pull everything together.

It is usually difficult for them to say no when asked to organize these events as they are leaders and enjoy the challenge; however, before they realize it, they have taken on too many activities; once this happens, they tend to become stressed and irritable.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Saviorthey need to learn to maintain balance and only take on what they can reasonably handle.

The Melancholy:

Since they are artistic, creative and task-oriented, they tend to use their creativity to work behind the scenes making background props, manager scenes, painting, decorating, etc. With their creative abilities they can also make crafts, bake cookies, pies and cakes for Church bazaars, etc.

It is usually difficult for them to say no when asked to use their creativity to help with these events. This is because they really enjoy creating and doing tasks; however, before they realize it, they have taken on too many activities; once this happens, they tend to become stressed and irritable.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, they need to learn to maintain balance and only take on what they can reasonable handle.

The Phlegmatic:

Since they are perfectionists and task–oriented, they can do tedious tasks; however, they will usually contribute their time to doing things that will not deplete their energy. They are usually good at helping in working out the smallest details for Christmas programs, dinners and events. This is because they tend to be perfectionists and are capable of doing tedious tasks and taking care of the minutest details.

They usually do not want to get involved in attending the actual social activities, and usually go only when they are pressured. If pressured too much by others, they may become stressed and irritable, and will then come to dread the Christmas season.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior they do need to learn to attend some Christmas events with their family. Perhaps they can choose to attend the events that are most important or meaningful to them?

The Sanguine:

Since they are relationship-oriented, they enjoy coming to the Christmas events so that they can be with people. They are usually like sunshine on a rainy day and can add so much to the Christmas festivities.

They may offer to help with the preparation of the luncheons, dinners and other special events; however, once they get there and start interaction with people, they may forget what they volunteered to do. Since they enjoy being with people, they are good at interacting with people and would go around the room talking with everyone making them feel welcome.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior they do need to learn to maintain balance and get enough rest as they can stress themselves because their “shoes are always at the door” and they will attend as many events as they possibly can.

The Supine:

Since they are relationship-oriented/task-oriented, and they have a servant’s heart, they will want to go to all the Christmas events that they are invited to attend.

It is usually difficult for them to say no when asked to help at these events. They will help in every way they possibly can. They will prepare food, set up tables, decorate tables, serve the food and beverages, and, if that is not enough, they will stay for the clean-up. Before they realize it, they can deplete themselves physically and emotionally. When this happens they may find themselves resenting the Christmas festivities.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior they need to learn to maintain balance by learning that it is okay to say no—especially when they are on overload.

Please remember, no matter what your temperament:

God wants you to do whatever you do with a joyful and glad heart. (See Colossians 3:23) We need to be involved in Christmas celebrations so that this time of year feels special, but we must be careful not to exhaust our energy (and our good will) by overdoing it. It is important to set aside some time to spend in worship and reflection on the true meaning of Christmas!

Again, please remember Nehemiah 8:10:

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH….

May you be filled this Christmas Season with God’s love so that you can reflect His inexplicable JOY and be a blessing to all those around you according to your God-given temperament.

JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY!

 

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