IR Spotlight

Tihomir and Dimka Tenev of Sliven, Bulgaria are Certified Pastoral Members of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and have been International Representatives since January 18, 2012.

Being in the pastoring ministry for 25 years we have always had a heart for people and have been doing our best to helping them be strong in the Lord and to succeed in life and in their relationships. Though we ourselves have tried to live according to the Biblical principals, we have always been looking for something more to know about ourselves, in order to be able to understand many of the situations through which we had been going through and how we could deal with them more effectively and in the best way!

Creation Therapy supplied us with the necessary knowledge and information, in order to be able to explain what we have never been able to understand before, though all our knowledge on the Bible.

It is already more than 10 years since we are using APS for helping people finding solutions for their difficulties in life.

What we realized was that it is very important and foundational to teach people of the Biblical principals, in order they could have a successful life. But what APS supplies, namely the understanding why you do what you do; the possibility of getting to know yourself and to balance your life – is VERY important and useful thing.

We have been impressed how during the APS sessions people have shared that for first time they feel they have been understood and receiving practical help for their problem, though they are coming from a church whose pastors are our friends and we know they are wonderful people and preachers and teachers!

This is just confirming more and more of the necessity of more knowledge that we receive through studying at NCCA.

The truth is, that most of the people’s situations in life need more that just a good loving heart and knowing the Bible!

During the years we have faced up various fates of people and have been witnessing restoring of many relationships.

Sometimes the effort of someone to be excellent before the Lord, including his temperament needs to be principled would push him to extremes.

We had a case with a family and on the very first meeting they shared they had problems in their sexual relationship. Some of the religious books that the young lady had read have turned her to be a fanatic that was not able to fully enjoy making love with her husband.

After having a few conversations with them and prayed for them and gave them to read some good books and watched a family seminar, we managed to help her to start looking at sex as something she could fully enjoy and pray God to bless. The APS of both of them opened their eyes to get to know each other like never before and learn how they could start giving to each other what they need.

We have seen children of 8 or 9 years old, who are so principled and they insist their parents to be the same, just because it is their personality. It was very useful for the parents to understand this, because they would see a new way to bring their kids up, that would build them up without being hurt or have their spirit crushed.

We have worked with parents who have done their best to teach their children to be independent, without realizing their temperament need to be helped, in order to be able to build up their self-confidence and the feeling that they are competent.

The necessity of counseling in Bulgaria is quite big, though the people still do not realize it. More and more people in our Christian world today share the need they feel of professional help.

The modern technology today is giving us a lot of possibilities to counsel both people who live in Bulgaria and out of Bulgaria, by using Skype, FaceTime or Viber applications.

Also, our son is broadcasting a weekly video-show in which there is a lot of discussion about love, sex, marriage relationship, and family. It is a wonderful possibility to advertise the APS and people are calling us asking for help.

We are also working with non-Christian people and have sewn the love of Christ in their lives. After that some of them have visited our church and we pray so that God would finish the good work He has started in them!

God has also opened a door for us to teach the whole subject of Creation Therapy at one of the Bible Colleges in Bulgaria, where one of the students was Macedonian and he decided to study the Creation Therapy and was certified by SACC and now he has his own counseling ministry in Macedonia, counseling through APS.

Being International Representatives gives us the possibility to sign up students, just like this Macedonian, from different countries to be trained as Christian Counselors through Creation Therapy.

Looking back in everything that has happened through our ministry, we see God’s hand over us! So today it is already more than 10 years we are serving people in the area of counseling through Creation Therapy!

We can say nothing more but that we are serving to a Great and Unique GOD! To Him be all the glory forever and ever – AMEN!!!

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Book Review

By: Kyle Idleman



We’re saturated with a knowledge of grace. But when Jesus walked here on earth, He lived grace, sharing it through countless stories and real-life examples. In Grace Is Greater, Kyle Idleman seeks to do the same–to shake us out of our comfort zone with grace and to again be amazed, shocked, and enthralled as we experience Jesus’ radical way of living and forgiving. By hearing stories of lives transformed, you’ll grasp God’s love in a fresh way and find new freedom and joy in your own life.

For more information, please click here.



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Temperament Corner

A Pearl of Great Value – Phlegmatic

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value.  He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

Question: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “In order to have a pearl of great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and/or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Phlegmatic in Inclusion to see what may be irritating them and causing them stress in the Inclusion area:

1.  Demands made upon them by people at their workplace, school or home:

Phlegmatics in Inclusion can handle a moderate amount of interaction with people.  In the workplace or school, they will tend to respond when spoken to, but will not usually initiate.  This is because they are task-oriented.  By the time they get home from work or school, their energy is usually depleted.

Physically, they may come home from work or school drained of their energy, and just want to relax and watch television or sit at the computer; however,  they may then start to snack on foods that can cause them to become overweight.  If they continue eating the snack foods that are not healthy for them, they may develop heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

Emotionally, constantly interacting with people can cause them to become overwhelmed, angry and stressed. When this happens, they will tend to retaliate by using their defense mechanism–their dry humor. This humor, at times, can be cutting or hurtful to others, depending on the amount of anger and stress that they are experiencing.

Spiritually, if forced to interact with people for long periods of time, they may become so exhausted and stressed that they don’t get involved in church activities or even spend time with the Lord.

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To stay involved with their relationships and learn to maintain balance between being alone and socializing.
  2. To take care of their physical body by eating properly and exercising. Once they start eating properly and exercising, they will find that they have more energy and, in turn, will feel less exhausted.
  3. That during times of physical and emotional stress they need to take time to praise God by song or worship, read the Holy Scriptures and attend church.

See Isaiah 26:3:  “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

2.   Inability to work at their own pace:

Phlegmatics in Inclusion, because of their low energy, are unable to work at a fast pace.   If pushed beyond their endurance, they will tend to use their dry humor, sometimes in a hurtful manner, as a defense mechanism to keep people from pushing them to work at a faster pace.

Physically, they will become exhausted, drained and stressed because they are being pushed to work beyond their endurance.  This can cause them to react to their stress by overeating and becoming non-involved with their friends and family.  This, in turn, can result in their having heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, and problems with their family, etc.

Emotionally, the inability to work at their own pace can cause them to become agitated and stressed.  They may also tend to shut down and become more withdrawn from family and friends. They will also tend to use their dry humor to keep family and friends “off their back.”

Spiritually, if forced to interact with people for long periods of time, they may become so exhausted and stressed that they may pull away from attending church because it would drain them even more. They may tend to put God on “hold.”

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To try to seek employment where they can set their own pace in order to keep from being totally exhausted and stressed at the end of the day.
  2. That if they are not able to secure employment where they can set their own pace, they need to take breaks at work during the morning, at lunchtime, and in the afternoon.  Exercising during their breaks would refresh them and help to alleviate some of their stress.
  3. To daily maintain their relationship with the Lord by taking time to have morning devotions before they leave for work or listen to the Holy Scriptures or Christian music on the way to work.  

See Philippians 4:13:  “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

3.   Striving for perfection:

Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to strive for perfection.  They are also task-oriented and slow-paced.  They can do tedious tasks with precision and accuracy; therefore, they tend to expect perfection not only from themselves but from those around them.

Physically, if those around them do not live up to their expectations of perfection, Phlegmatics will tend to become stressed and critical.  They express this criticism by using their dry humor that can be very hurtful at times.  This can cause tension between them and those that are not living up to their need for perfection. Because the Phlegmatic in Inclusion is also a peacemaker and seeks peace,  this tension can cause them physical stress in the form of ulcers, headaches, overeating, etc.

Emotionally, when people do not live up to their expectations of perfection, Phlegmatics can become stressed.   They may tend to shut down and withdraw from the people that are stressing them, as well as their family and friends.  In other words, they may pull away from everyone. They may do this by sleeping a great deal, watching television and/or sitting at their computer.

Spiritually, because they strive for perfection and they cannot attain this perfection, they may tend to be stressed and want to give up on everyone, including God. Their thoughts could be something like: “What’s the use-nobody else cares, why should I care?” They may even feel God does not care.

Therefore, they need to learn:

  1. To be patient with people and learn that criticizing them is not going to  make them do a better job. They need to remember Proverbs 25:11:  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
  2. To stay moderately involved with their family and friends in order to keep the peace to avoid more stress.
  3. To learn that the Lord is with them every step of the way and that He will give them strength.

See Nehemiah 8:10:  “…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

PLEASE NOTE:  These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatic in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue, we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Sanguine in Inclusion.



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Temperament Corner

JOY

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Joy, according to Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary means great happiness, delight, and a source of happiness.

Luke 2:8-10 tells us: And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

During the Christmas season I am filled with joy when I listen to the beautiful Christmas hymnJOY TO THE WORLD:

Joy to the world! The Lord is come;
   Let earth receive her King;
      Let every heart prepare Him room,
         And heaven and nature sing,
            And heaven and nature sing.
               And heaven, and Heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the world! The Savior reigns;
   Let men their songs employ;
      While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
         Repeat the sounding joy,
            Repeat the sounding joy,
               Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

When we give our heart to Jesus, we, too, will bear all the fruit of the Spirit.

Ephesians 5:9-10: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

Jeremiah 15:16:Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.

John 15:11:These things have I spoken unto, you that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

Romans 15:13: Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I Peter 1:8: “Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.

I John 1:4: And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.

Nehemiah 8:10: for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Now, since we know that the “joy of the Lord is our strength, let’s look at ways the five temperaments in Inclusion can be JOYFUL this Christmas.

The Choleric:

Since they are leaders and task-oriented, they tend to take on too many responsibilities at Christmas time. When people ask them to organize Christmas events such as pageants, parties, luncheons, dinners, cookie exchanges, preparing food for the homeless, collecting gifts for needy children, etc., they will take on the challenge and pull everything together.

It is usually difficult for them to say no when asked to organize these events as they are leaders and enjoy the challenge; however, before they realize it, they have taken on too many activities; once this happens, they tend to become stressed and irritable.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Saviorthey need to learn to maintain balance and only take on what they can reasonably handle.

The Melancholy:

Since they are artistic, creative and task-oriented, they tend to use their creativity to work behind the scenes making background props, manager scenes, painting, decorating, etc. With their creative abilities they can also make crafts, bake cookies, pies and cakes for Church bazaars, etc.

It is usually difficult for them to say no when asked to use their creativity to help with these events. This is because they really enjoy creating and doing tasks; however, before they realize it, they have taken on too many activities; once this happens, they tend to become stressed and irritable.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, they need to learn to maintain balance and only take on what they can reasonable handle.

The Phlegmatic:

Since they are perfectionists and task–oriented, they can do tedious tasks; however, they will usually contribute their time to doing things that will not deplete their energy. They are usually good at helping in working out the smallest details for Christmas programs, dinners and events. This is because they tend to be perfectionists and are capable of doing tedious tasks and taking care of the minutest details.

They usually do not want to get involved in attending the actual social activities, and usually go only when they are pressured. If pressured too much by others, they may become stressed and irritable, and will then come to dread the Christmas season.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior they do need to learn to attend some Christmas events with their family. Perhaps they can choose to attend the events that are most important or meaningful to them?

The Sanguine:

Since they are relationship-oriented, they enjoy coming to the Christmas events so that they can be with people. They are usually like sunshine on a rainy day and can add so much to the Christmas festivities.

They may offer to help with the preparation of the luncheons, dinners and other special events; however, once they get there and start interaction with people, they may forget what they volunteered to do. Since they enjoy being with people, they are good at interacting with people and would go around the room talking with everyone making them feel welcome.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior they do need to learn to maintain balance and get enough rest as they can stress themselves because their “shoes are always at the door” and they will attend as many events as they possibly can.

The Supine:

Since they are relationship-oriented/task-oriented, and they have a servant’s heart, they will want to go to all the Christmas events that they are invited to attend.

It is usually difficult for them to say no when asked to help at these events. They will help in every way they possibly can. They will prepare food, set up tables, decorate tables, serve the food and beverages, and, if that is not enough, they will stay for the clean-up. Before they realize it, they can deplete themselves physically and emotionally. When this happens they may find themselves resenting the Christmas festivities.

In order to not lose their JOY of what the Christmas season is all about—the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior they need to learn to maintain balance by learning that it is okay to say no—especially when they are on overload.

Please remember, no matter what your temperament:

God wants you to do whatever you do with a joyful and glad heart. (See Colossians 3:23) We need to be involved in Christmas celebrations so that this time of year feels special, but we must be careful not to exhaust our energy (and our good will) by overdoing it. It is important to set aside some time to spend in worship and reflection on the true meaning of Christmas!

Again, please remember Nehemiah 8:10:

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH….

May you be filled this Christmas Season with God’s love so that you can reflect His inexplicable JOY and be a blessing to all those around you according to your God-given temperament.

JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY!

 

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Book Review

Jesus Calling for Christmas

By: Sarah Young

 

Savor the season with this beautiful Christmas edition of Jesus Calling, a perfect gift that includes 50 seasonal devotion selections along with Scripture, quotes, and festive and breathtaking color photography. Jesus Calling for Christmas is a treasure your family will enjoy for years to come. From the beginning of Advent to Christmas Day and beyond, enjoy the presence of the One who understands you completely and loves you perfectly.

Also available: Jesus Calling for Christmas Gift Collection.

For more information, please click here.

 

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IR Spotlight

Sarasota Academy
International
Representative
Spotlight


Chandy Powell of Murfreesboro, TN is a Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since 2009.

Currently, I am excited to have the opportunity to share with you what is going on at New Life University, located at Branches Counseling Center in Murfreesboro, TN where I am the supervisor and the International Representative for this school.

New Life University began in 2008, and I came on board in 2010. There have been many changes and growing pains to get the school where it is today. Currently, we have about 50 students who are actively working toward their licenses and degrees. We began in 2008 with 3. My how the Lord can work when we give Him some space!

When we first began the school, we had our clinical director at Branches look over the curriculum to see if she had any extra advice to offer. So, we added 2 classes, Suicide Prevention, and a Counseling Practicum.

Suicide Prevention has been a wonderful addition to the curriculum. As we all know, this is a very serious situation, and it walks into all of our offices. Knowing the proper steps that line up with each student’s state laws is quite beneficial and empowering to the students. This class is taught in one weekend, a Friday night and Saturday.

The Counseling Practicum introduces all of the types of counseling outlined in our Basic Christian Counseling curriculum. The students learn about each type and each is assigned one type to write a paper on. The students also have a time of counseling each other under the supervision of a professional to give them tips on how to word questions and what and when to ask them. The students are usually quite nervous about this class, but they have all been very appreciative for being assigned to take it. This class is a full participation class and takes place in 2 weekends.

In the beginning, when Branches was just beginning to grow, and we had limited teachers, we only taught 5 classes at the center. Now, because the Lord has so richly blessed us with so many wonderful counselors, we offer weekend classes for all of the initial classes and even some of the advanced courses. The Cognitive Therapy class has been a longtime favorite.

I teach the Creation Therapy class and have, just this year, put the main concepts on power point. I taught it this way for the first time a few weeks ago, and I loved it! It was so nice to have everything on the screen for discussion and to be able to email the slides to the students. I am happy to report that all 7 new students made A’s.

It has been and continues to be a joy to be a part of this school. Several of our students have graduated and opened their own practices. I began a peer group with 4 former students. We meet the first Wednesday of every month in a suite that 2 of the students rent. It is lovely. One of our graduates is the partner in a prayer ministry here in town, and another is working hard to get a teen version of Narcotics Anonymous going in our community.

I am very proud of all that our students have accomplished, and feel so blessed to have been a part of watching the Lord call and equip them for the services they are bringing to our community.

Thank you for letting me share the wonderful news of New Life University. I hope everyone has a blessed Christmas and New Year!

 

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Book Review

The Daniel Prayer

By: Anne Graham Lotz

 

What is the secret to the revival of the church? The spiritual restoration of America? How can you renew your own relationship with God? It’s prayer! But not your everyday “now I lay me down to sleep” kind of prayer. It is prayer that storms the gates of Heaven until things change. It is passionate, heartfelt, “I won’t let you go until you bless me” pleading until you get an answer.

In The Daniel Prayer, bestselling author Anne Graham Lotz unpacks the ancient prayer of Daniel, a prayer that moved heaven and changed a nation, to help you unlock a powerful pattern for your prayers today.

For more information, please click here.

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IR Spotlight

Sarasota Academy
International
Representative
Spotlight


Dr. Roy H. Cantrell, II (Howie) of Gallatin, TN is a Certified Pastoral Member of the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling and has been an International Representative since
2015.

Currently, Dr. Cantrell is the Director/President of Gateway Institute, a Certified Academic Institution College of the N.C.C.A. Also, through the N.C.C.A. Dr. Cantrell is a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor-Advanced Certified.

 

Many years ago, at the early age of 13, I was asked to get involved in counseling. You see my father, Dr. Roy H. Cantrell, I, was a youth camp director in Mississippi and asked me if I would like to be a C.I.T. “Counselor in Training.” My answer was yes! I did not know at the time how this would affect me later in life and in my career as a pastor, counselor, teacher, and trainer; as well as, a mentor.

I learned about the Arno’s program through my father and with much encouragement enrolled through my local church with the Institute of Counselor Development.  The reason it took a lot of encouragement was that I was working on a Masters Degree in Theology at the time. It was definitely a challenge!

As I studied counseling and the art of counseling, I became a master illustrator with word pictures. I thought this was something that everyone could do, but soon found out it was a gift. It was later in reading a book by Mark Batterson, titled “The Circle Maker,” that I discovered talking in circles (thought by some to be a bad thing) was actually the way that Jesus taught, and His ability to paint word pictures was my inspiration. Pretty good role model despite popular opinion, don’t you think?

I’ll give one of these illustrations:

I keep a large silver coin in my pocket and when presented for inspection to the person they are instructed that “Heads” is mercy and “Tails” is Justice. I then ask these two questions.

1. If you were standing in front of a judge and were about to be sentenced to 10 years in prison, would you choose Mercy or Justice? They almost always choose Mercy.

2. If you were standing in that same court room watching the person who hurt your family member about to be sentenced to 10 years in prison, would you choose Mercy or Justice? They almost always choose Justice.

I then lay the coin on the table and ask them to pick up Mercy without picking up Justice. They look at me puzzled and usually say, “I can’t.” The explanation then becomes one of God being the only one who truly is the righteous judge.

       Romans 9:15 “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy.”

       Exodus 34:7a “Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and

       transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty;”

This is usually a defining moment for the person with whom the illustration has been shared. Getting a person to think outside of their normal thought process is a key to helping get them unstuck.

Many years ago God blessed me with a definition for counseling. It is simply…

“A conversation with a goal.”

The goal in our conversation must always be to help our clients to get “unstuck.”

In many conversations with my father we have compared notes on subjects of all kinds, but one stands out above all the rest, it is this… neither of us have ever had a client, or clients, that didn’t have a spiritual issue at the root of their problem, or problems.

If we can’t get them to see how critical it is to get unstuck, or more importantly to get free, then as counselors, we have done them a huge dis-service. It is impossible to do either of these two things: (1) Get them unstuck or, (2) Free, without the Holy Spirit’s presence in the counseling office.

I thank God on a regular basis for the vision that He gave the Arno’s to help people through Christian Counseling; in particular Creation Therapy. I don’t know how pastors counsel their members and people in their community with any success without the God given wisdom of this program.

I do however want to say… God is the door opener! It’s our job to walk through.  One of the many things that I have had the privilege to do as a counselor is to work with the courts as an instructor in a domestic violence class in the county where I live. I use my training in Temperament Theory/Therapy to explain to the people who are there how to understand themselves, as well as, understand why they are doing what they are doing. I love to watch the light bulbs come on as they, one by one, get it. I wish I could say they all get it, but they don’t.

I do this on a volunteer basis and offer each and every person in the room a free session with me, if they will just call. Some do, some don’t. My thoughts are simple on this matter; if you are going to change the game, you have to “get in the game”!

Along with all the other things we do in our community, my wife of 34 years, Becky Williamson Cantrell, of which I could have never done any of what I have accomplished, and I have gone on to launch City Gate Church in Gallatin, Tennessee. We have also launched Gateway Institute where we currently have 17 students in our Counseling and Theology programs in three different states. By the way, we could not have launched Gateway Institute so successfully without the help of April Mooneyhan and Kathy Verblaauw.

I have decided to be a life long learner and by the help and grace of God, along with the help of the Arno’s and Baran’s, I will be a game changer to all God puts in my path.

 

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Temperament Corner

A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE
MELANCHOLY IN INCLUSION

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

 

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us:“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

 

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value. He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?Pearl

Question: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “In order to have a pearl of great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and/or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too, have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Melancholy in Inclusion to see what may be irritating and causing them pain and stress in this area:

1. Interacting with people.

Melancholies in Inclusion need a minimal amount of interaction with people because they are loners and task oriented, not relationship oriented. They do not feel comfortable being around people and tend to be guarded when they are.

Physically, because they are loners, being pushed or forced into socializing for long periods of time may cause them to suffer migraines, headaches, ulcers, and other physical problems

Emotionally, interacting with people too much will cause them to become angry, resentful, withdrawn and moody.

Spiritually, if forced to interact with people for long periods of time, they may become so stressed that they will pull away from God—they do not want to interact with anyone, including God.

They need to learn to stay involved with their relationships and learn to maintain balance between being alone and socializing. They also need to learn that during times of physical and emotional stress they need to stay close to the Lord.

See I John 1:7: (KJV) “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” See also Galatians 6:2.

2. Striving for perfection.

Melancholies in Inclusion tend to have low self-esteem, and they tend to expect perfection from themselves and others. They tend to feel that if they can become perfect enough, they will then have value; however, they will never be able to measure up to their own standard of perfection.

Because of the high standards they set for themselves and others, they can become angry, frustrated and stressed. This is because they tend to have a   difficult time completing their goals as they will keep reworking a project until they “dig” themselves into a “pit” and can’t complete the project.

Physically, when the stress becomes too much for them, they may tend to neglect their physical body by not eating properly and exercising.

Emotionally, when they are unable to deal with everyday life, they will avoid being with people because of their fear of criticism about their imperfections.

Spiritually, they will tend to feel that they are not good enough for God, so they will avoid going to church, reading the Holy Scriptures and socializing with Christians.

They need to learn to give themselves and others the right to be imperfectotherwise, they will never believe that they are good enough for God. They need to remember that only God is perfect and we are all works in progress.”

See Hebrews 13:20, 21: (KJV) “Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” See also I John 2:5 and I John 4:12. 3.

3. Inability to shut off their mind.

Melancholies in Inclusion tend to replay over and over again in their mind negative incidents that have occurred in their life. They tend to actually relive past incidents as if they just happened! This will keep them from forgiving and forgetting.

Melancholies in Inclusion also tend to perceive rejection where none exists; this is because of their low self-esteem.

Physically, because of their inability to shut off their mind, forgive and forget, they will tend to become withdrawn and pull farther away from family and friends. They will tend to not be able to sleep as their mind keeps reviewing the past hurts, and they will lack the energy to do anything but think. They may even neglect their personal hygiene.

Emotionally, they can become incapable of communicating with others as they are so engrossed in reliving incidents from the past. This may even cause them to shut down emotionally.

Spiritually, if they cannot shut off their mind, they will have no time for prayer, attending church or Bible studies.

They need to learn to stop focusing on the negative, forgive and move forward, and be more trusting in God. They need to bind their mind to Him so that they will be thinking His thoughts—not theirs.

See Philippians 4:8: (KJV) “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” See also Isaiah 26:3 and Isaiah 43:18.

4. Fear regarding finances.

This will cause them stress because they tend to live in the fear of not being able to support their family and pay the bills.

Physically, they can spend sleepless nights worrying and stressing about how they can pay their bills. They will either tend to eat little or binge eat. They may even take on an additional job or two to help pay bills.

Emotionally, they can also become angry and irritated because they think their family is spending too much money on things they do not need. If they confront the family about their spending, this will tend to cause conflict and additional stress.

Spiritually, their stress can cause them to be so preoccupied with finances that they do not think they have the time to spend with the Lord.

They need to learn to face their fears and work out a budget. Many times their fears are dwelling on the “what if’s.”

They need to learn to look to God and put their trust in Him. He will guide them and give them peace regarding their finances.

See Isaiah 41:10: (KJV) “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” See also Psalm 34:8 and Matthew 6:28-30.

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Melancholy in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Phlegmatic in Inclusion.

 

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Temperament Corner

A PEARL OF GREAT VALUE CHOLERIC IN INCLUSION

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV) tells us: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

God sees each of us as a pearl of great value. He paid dearly for us with His Son, Jesus! We are more valuable and precious to Him than we can ever imagine!

As counselors, people come to you hurting and broken; they tend to feel that they have no value, that they are invisible, hidden, overlooked, and that nobody cares.

Can you, as a counselor, see them as a pearl of great value, as God does?

PearlQuestion: “Why is a pearl so valuable?”

The answer is: “For a pearl to have great value, the pearl must go through a tremendous amount of irritation; and during the process, it becomes refined and beautiful.”

Some pearls have more irritations than others, just as some people have more irritations than others.

The people that come to you are going through irritations—emotionally, physically and or spiritually.

Many times when your counselees are going through their hurts, pains, and suffering, they tend to feel that there is no hope.

You, as a temperament counselor, have a calling on your life—to help God’s hurting people.

You are there to give them HOPE – Jesus!

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

God wants you to see each person that comes to you as a “pearl of great value.”

With the APS profile, God has given us insight into how He created us with our strengths, weaknesses, and needs—an inside look at His pearls of great value.

Since you too have gone through a refining process with your hurts and suffering and pain, you can use what you have gone through to help and encourage your counselees.

We are going to look at the Choleric in Inclusion to see what may be irritating and causing them pain and stress in this area:

Inability to fulfill their temperament need for controlling social relationships because, as leaders in the Inclusion area, they tend not to want others to reject their leadership decisions. This can cause them stress because of their need to receive recognition and approval for their accomplishments, not rejection. They need to look to the Lord for His recognition and approval; He will never reject them.

See Galatians 1:10: (KJV) “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” “Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.” Isaiah 26:3)

  1. Need for perfection from themselves and others. This can cause them stress because of their high goals or expectations. At times, they may feel that their needs for perfection cannot be met because of the imperfection of others, and they can become intolerant, impatient, angry and frustrated. They need to learn to allow themselves, as well as others, to be imperfect, for only God is perfect. They must also learn to forgive and stop being angry at themselves for their imperfection as God understands our weaknesses and, as we submit them to Him, He will do the perfecting.

    See Zechariah 4:6b: (KJV) “…Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”

  2. Inability to say “no” when asked to take on multiple leadership positions in this area. This can cause them stress, irritability and eventually even burnout because they may overload and spread themselves too thin. They need to learn to seek God’s will and let Him direct their steps in order to alleviate their stress.

    See Isaiah 58:1la (KJV) “And the Lord shall guide thee continually….”Also see Proverbs 3:5-6.)

  3. The uncertainty of who they really are at any given time. This will cause them stress because they can wear so many different “masks,” (whatever it takes to accomplish their goals) that, at times, they are uncertain which mask they are wearing. Since they are not sure of who they really are at times, the may feel like imposters and may fear others will think they are imposters too. They need to learn that God always knows who they are and, when they are “riding” that emotional roller coaster, God will smooth things out for them—if they ask Him to.

See Psalm 13:1-2: (KJV) “O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.”

PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Choleric in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

In the next issue, we will look at the Pearl of Great Value—Melancholy in Inclusion.

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